The Doom That Came to Cowtown

There are things we believe in that only exist because we believe in them, but they're not supernatural.

Death: Humans need fantasy to be human... you have to start out learning to believe the little lies.
Susan: So we can believe the big ones?
Death: Yes, Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing... you need to believe in things that aren’t true. How else can they become?

From Terry Pratchett, natch.

( Great steaming piles of detail... )

OK, so that's a decent start. More to come tomorrow.

( Hmm, that's kind of long. Let's put it behind this cut... )

24 out of 30 BTW.

You know how sometimes people on your friendslist post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating HIM/HER? Since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that? It's seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out.

1. First Name: Named for an Uncle Jim on both sides of the family and called "James" to differentiate me from both.

2. Age: 42

3. Location: Calgary, AB

4. Occupation: Software Scientist. I write security software for a company in the oil and gas industry.

5. Partner: Her name is Vancouver, she lives in Alberta...

6. Kids: None, nor are there likely to be any by reason of conviction and lack of opportunities.

7. Brothers/Sisters: One of each. We grew up largely apart due to age. I have little in common with either of them and see them about once a year.

8. Parents: Gordon and Maxine. Dead now. Given that fact and the social distance between my siblings and I, I largely behave as if I have no family at all. That makes me sad sometimes, but it is what it is.

9. Pets: None. My roomie nosarious has a cat, Spanky, who is both retarded and submissive (he likes to lie in the middle of the street and let cars roll over him and he really really really likes getting his ass spanked - hence the name). He's the ideal pet in the sense that I don't have to feed him or change the litter, just give occasional pets and scritches.

10. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:

1. Planning out a large upcoming SCA event.
   
2. Looking forward to a two week road trip with friends.
   
3. Improving my archery skills.
   
4. Struggling with my weight.
   
5. Off to see the wizard.

Be advised that I'm a wee bit tipsy. Oh Rickard's Honey Brown Ale, how did I not know you were as good as Rickard's White? I'd better wait until I've finished writing this before having another, or it'll end up with me declaring my undying love for Estrella hotties and discussing Neo-con robber-baron policies and why they've collapsed the global economy.

Anyway, the pebble that sagaciouslu threw off the mountaintop had quickly grown into an avalanche. This does not surprise me. You can find my iteration of it here.

First, the meme was started (in the local cohort) by Badger, and he's a popular erudite fellow, so it gained a lot of initial responses. Probably more then he anticipated. Sorry dude, You've still got a lot of work ahead of you. If it's any consolation, it was because the idea of you doing a participatory meme is rare and special.

Second, it promises something we all want, compliments. To request a response is to say "tell me something you like about me" in a way that's socially acceptable. Normally fishing for compliments isn't.

The only thing that's preventing it from becoming even more popular then it is, is that it requires you to do three things:

• Post the meme. Notably several people haven't. I have no problem with this because not everyone is comfortable with all aspects of the meme and really, it's just a game.
  
• You have to accept an unknown challenge.
  
• You have to answer a question.

All three of these have the potential of soul-searching.

Of course, we want to connect with people. We want to strengthen the social bonds that we all share. That's what makes gives this meme (any meme really) traction.

Personally, I'm always curious about the results of these memes, or rather the fact that my own expectations (with regards to myself) are so clearly at odds with my self-image.

Obviously, I wouldn't be fishing for compliments if I didn't think I deserved compliments at all. However the types of compliments I get are often for things I'm convinced I'm no good at. That is to say, I was expecting that people would tell me I'm smart. I wasn't expecting people to tell me I'm charming. Sometimes the compliments are for things I've done, but I don't think I deserve a moral credit for (Not sure if that's the right term, but I'm drinking).

For example, Let's say you saw someone frantically digging a fire break around their house to save it from an approaching fire. The next day, once the fire had passed you see your friend and compliment him on his work ethic, working such long hours digging. Does he really have a strong work ethic, or was he just in extreme peril? Would he normally do any of those things.

That's how I view a lot of these things. Circumstance forced me to do them. In another person they might be considered a virtue, but they sure don't seem like it from this side of the brain. Stupid brain. So I get complimented for, say coping with my parents' death. It's not like I had a choice in the matter. If I didn't cope I'd be, dead I guess, or in the looney bin.

A common thread for challenges in the meme was to go easier on myself. Internally this seems odd and counter-productive, not to mention nigh-impossible. How can you do these things and mean it? When I try, there's always some part of me monitoring it that says "you know you're only faking it right?".

OTOH, one of the things I learned in Cognitive Therapy is that you can train the brain to do exactly that. People in Alcoholics Anonymous even have a term for it: Fake it 'til you make it. It can work, but requires a lot of hard work and repetition. Sometimes I even have the stamina to attempt it. Guess I'd better get on that.

If one person calls you a horse, that's just mean. Two people call you a horse, it's just a rumour being spread. Three people? Time to start pricing saddles. I saw a few trends that indicates that some of us need to buy saddles. I need to stop being so negative about myself. conejita_diabla needs to stop over-thinking things. wild_wanderer needs to clean. They're all fair cops.

Do I have a point? Hard to say at this point since I've had a second drink now and my train of thought keeps derailing. I think it's really that our internal view of ourselves is sometimes vastly different from the outside view. Being currently happy I'll just say that others are probably right about me and I need to stop listening to my brain. I'll probably dig my heels in again when I'm sober though.

The other point is that this is a very good meme because it strengthens the social bonds that keep us sane. We no longer have a community in the old sense - the internet makes up a major portion of our socializing for good or ill. It might not involve as much closeness as grooming each other for nits, but memes do provide an important means of keeping us close to each other.