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jamesqI think the intent is romantic love, so that's what I'm going with.
I've been trying to write this post for days now and I'll be fucked if I'm any closer to knowing what love is than I was before. I could tell you what my ideal mate would be, but that's not the same. I could tell you about times I thought I was in love and whether I think it was a "true" feeling or not.
Mostly it comes down to a feeling I hope to have someday - one of peace and acceptance in the company of another. Love for me is feeling that I'm with someone who has my back, accepts me for who I am, but at the same time pushes me to achieve more. All of this would be combined with actual desire - desire to be with this person, desire for this person, desire to do right by this person.
I've felt something like this before, with the people I've been in love with. Unfortunately, it's also come with a profound fear - a fear that love is as fragile and ephemeral as a soap bubble. The idea that any action on my part might be the wrong action and that I could break the spell at any time.
"You find somebody to love in this world you better hang on tooth-and-nail. The wolf is always at the door."
I want the good part of that feeling without the anxiety. I've never had it because, up until now, I've always been right - love really is a fragile thing and I've broken the spell every time.
Well, there you have it, one of the most incoherent, unorganized bits of writing ever. Write what you know.
I've been trying to write this post for days now and I'll be fucked if I'm any closer to knowing what love is than I was before. I could tell you what my ideal mate would be, but that's not the same. I could tell you about times I thought I was in love and whether I think it was a "true" feeling or not.
Mostly it comes down to a feeling I hope to have someday - one of peace and acceptance in the company of another. Love for me is feeling that I'm with someone who has my back, accepts me for who I am, but at the same time pushes me to achieve more. All of this would be combined with actual desire - desire to be with this person, desire for this person, desire to do right by this person.
I've felt something like this before, with the people I've been in love with. Unfortunately, it's also come with a profound fear - a fear that love is as fragile and ephemeral as a soap bubble. The idea that any action on my part might be the wrong action and that I could break the spell at any time.
"You find somebody to love in this world you better hang on tooth-and-nail. The wolf is always at the door."
I want the good part of that feeling without the anxiety. I've never had it because, up until now, I've always been right - love really is a fragile thing and I've broken the spell every time.
Well, there you have it, one of the most incoherent, unorganized bits of writing ever. Write what you know.
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-08 09:56 pm (UTC)Don't lose hope - you'll find it someday :-)
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Date: 2010-09-08 10:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 03:38 pm (UTC)