The Doom That Came to Cowtown

I was invited to join some friends for a weekend in Las Vegas. It was somewhat last minute, but we managed to get moderately inexpensive rooms and flights for the leap-weekend.

Saturday

The flight was mostly uneventful, though my wardrobe decisions earned me the back of a hand to my crotch during the security theatre. I will often grab some clothing from my going-to-charity pile so that I'll have more room in my luggage on the return flight. This time, that included some fleece-lined jeans that I wear during the winter months, and had replaced with a smaller waist. This threw off the nude-o-scope so I had to be hand inspected because they couldn't make out my genitals. On the plus side, I was gifted with the best waffle I've ever had. Note: these events were not related - the border guard did not buy me breakfast after groping me.

Once in Sin City, we quickly checked into our rooms, then went to the nearest mall to indulge in some base consumerism.

Because I was travelling with thebrucie we had to go to Frankie's Tiki Room. This place exceeded my expectations. Mostly because they were low, since this is in a sketchy neighbourhood, and street view indicated it was a big concrete square of a building. Now that's not damning with faint praise, Frankie's was a really good tiki bar, and only lacked in cocktails with coconut milk in them. The rum was plentiful though. Also, it's dark with lots of nooks and crannies, making it an ideal place to go if you and your date want to make out. Which we saw.


(Me, Allison, Bruce, under two of many boobies)

I did notice something, and that was the ratio of shrunken heads/boobies in the decor was near 1:1, which I think is good. Boobies do have an advantage though, since mostly they come in pairs. While we didn't do an exhaustive survey, I think we were pretty close.

After Frankie's, we went to the Downtown Container Park, which is pretty much exactly what it says on the box - a city block surrounded by intermodal containers containing shops. It was all very hipster and I liked it. We ate some BBQ, browsed around and enjoyed the ambiance. And by ambiance, I mean the THIRTY FOOT TALL FIRE MANTIS!



Built on a dump truck chassis, and sporting a big sound system, this baby is street legal, and ready to fuck some shit up. Also, the dude who built it, did so as an anniversary present for his wife. Reportedly, she loved it, indicating that they were a match well made. Anyway, here is some more of it:



Next up was a quick walk east to Vegas' oldest bar: Atomic Liquors. How old? Their liquor license is #00001. Again, not as sketchy as I would have guessed. If you go, do so on a warm night and sit on the patio. That's what we did, even though it was kind of chilly. The decor inside is standard issue dive bar, aside from the historical plaques describing the history of the joint. Why "Atomic"? Among its others claims to fame, Las Vegas was the closest major city to America's numerous A-bomb tests. People would sit on the roof to watch the blasts.



It was a pretty good crowd there. I think it was a 50/50 mix of tourists and locals.

Meanwhile, across the street was this sign for the Ambassador Motel. Note, the Motel is long gone, but the well-maintained sign remains. As for the llamas, that part of the sign post-dates the motel's removal. Too bad really, because you know someone would have tried it.



We rounded out the night with a probably unnecessary trip to Triple 7 brewery's wares. Favourite beer: Black Chip Porter, but that's because most everything else ranged from yuck to meh.

Sunday

We met in the afternoon and had lunch at a forgettable pub in The Linq, and then spent our time and quarters at the Pinball Hall of Fame. Of note, they had Monaco GP and Crazy Climber. I got high score on Joust.

After this, we went to the Miracle Mile to sample Sin City Brewery's wares (Favourite: Weisse, but everything was head-and-shoulders above Triple 7). Along the way we accidentally fell on some cookie dough at DoughP. Given future events, this was a mistake, albeit a delicious one.

Allison looked at her watch at this point and realized that we were rapidly running out of time to get to our show: Le Rêve at the Wynn Resort. We managed to get back to our hotel, change into presentable clothing, and walk (rapidly) across the street to catch the show, with about two minutes to spare. Phew. Le Rêve is Steve Wynn's attempt to out-cirque, Cirque de Soleil. It largely succeeds, and is in my top three Cirque-like shows in Vegas, tied with KÀ for second place, ever so slightly behind The Beatles Love. It was really good, and I'm glad she talked me into going, since I was pretty meh about a water-based show. Well worth seeing.

Afterward we went and had possibly the most expensive meal of my life. It was certainly in the top five for most delicious. It was Bazaar Meat by José Andrés. Overwhelmed by the choices, we opted for one of the tasting menus, and also an ounce each of Kobe beef. Over the next two hours, the professional servers fed us some of the best tapas ever, along with some surprises.

While waiting for our food to arrive, Bruce waxed eloquent about some cured meat - Jamón ibérico - that they'd had in Spain a few years ago. He described it in loving terms, going over how it was made and what it tasted like, and added that it should be on my bucket list of things to try if I'm ever in Spain. Note: This was not on the menu, and our server was not anywhere near us when this tale was being told.

Five minutes later, our server brings us a plate of it. "I thought you might like this", he said.

It was very good.

A bit later we got our Kobe Beef. And while we ordered three ounces, we apparently got four. Our suspicion was that since we were late diners, and the restaurant was rapidly emptying out, we were gaining the benefit of them having to jettison some of their daily stock. This was super high end, so I doubt they served leftovers the next day. Might as well serve it to guests who aren't assholes.

Kobe beef is also very good, but so overwhelming that I'm happy I only had the ounce and a bit of it. More would be a waste.

The rest of the meal was equally good, with a wonderful variety of stuff. Finally we were done, full, sated, satisfied. That's when dessert appeared. And once again, I think we got more than we asked for, seeing as how we got ten items. Woof. I wasn't hungry again until the next afternoon.

Monday

I gamble, and my game is roulette. I also collect casino chips from all the casinos that I visit. Since neither Bruce nor Allison care that much, and because they're late sleepers compared to me, I decided to grab some chips in the morning, and I made a circuit of the various west-of-strip casinos before noon. These included Orleans, Palms, Gold Coast and the Rio.


(A few other chips included, because I did some drive-by bets around other places)

I met up with the others and we went and visited the Arts District, which is the most Portland part of Las Vegas. I'm happy we went, because it gave me a whole new reason to visit. Antiques! Thrift stores! Craft beer! It was wonderful

We started with beer and wings at Able Baker brewing. Best beer: Upshot-Knothole Imperial Porter.


(the essentials)

Then it was off to Tatyana's boutique, which I love, even though the mens wear section is microscopic. I just want to take the future Mrs. Cyr there and play dress-up doll.

Next up was Main Street Peddlers, with assorted weird stuff. I bought a few gifts, and the O'Shea's chip (pictured above), because I gambled there, but they use Linq chips now.


(Your welcome)


(I need a few of these)

Our last brewery of the day was Crafthaus, which had a nice selection and some decent appies. Best beer: Zitrone, a sour gose.

(this mural was at Crafthaus, and was a tribute to the old Jubilee show that closed a few years ago)



After an aborted attempt to have dinner at 18Bin, but apparently their chef was in a car accident (we were reassured that he was uninjured) so wasn't coming in. Plan-B was me taking the others to China Poblano, which entailed going back to the Strip. It wasn't as good as I remember, but that's probably because of the lingering memories of the previous nights meal. Of note. Both Bazaar Meat and China Poblano are Jose Andres restaurants.


(A very Shpely-esque statue at the Cosmopolitan)

Bruce was starting to run out of spoons, but luckily there was something guaranteed to recharge his batteries: Tiki! Off we went to The Golden Tiki.


(From a new show that I fully intend on seeing next time)

Now the reason we ate at China Poblano was we couldn't find an online menu for the Golden Tiki. Turns out they have a really good menu of Tiki standards. Also, the drinks were filling.

This ended up being a nice cap to our final evening in Vegas. The drinks were good, the decor was extensive, and confirmed my 1:1 shrunken head/booby ratio hypothesis. I fell in love with one of the servers and a random woman sitting at the bar (she was a redhead who looked like she shopped at Tatyana's). The only downside was that the bathrooms had attendants. Nothing like having some random job it is to stare at you while your standing at the urinal to freeze your pipes.

*Walks into bathroom*
"Hello sir, how are you doing today."
"I'd be doing better if random strangers didn't talk to me in the men's room."

*finish up my business, head to sink*

"Have some soap, sir."
*Holds a squirt bottle of hand soap out for me without giving me an option to do this on my own*

It was all super creepy, especially since it wasn't an especially large bathroom (one urinal, one stall). I'd have liked to have looked at the decor, but just wanted out of there as fast as I could. He had a tip jar, but since negative tipping is frowned upon, I refrained from helping myself to make up for the creepiness.

Tueday

Bruce and Allison's flight was somewhat earlier than mine, so we met for breakfast at the hotel's cafe. Afterward I killed time by wandering around the strip. I ended up having a flight of beer at Trustworthy Brewing (in the Palazzo). Best beer: Emilia's First Farmhouse Ale. Then I had lunch at Gordon Ramsey BurGeR.

The flight home was uneventful aside from me seeing other planes nearly miss my own (OK, they were another level below us, so no danger of colliding, but it was still a shock since I've never witnessed it before, and this flight I saw it twice).

A few thoughts:

• Treasure Island is good option for inexpensive, mid-Strip, accommodations.
• I ate way too much (I'm up six pounds, which is kind of insane), but I enjoyed all of it. I need to remember that I have a monk-like existence the rest of the time precisely so I can do stuff like this occasionally.
• Discovering hipster districts in Vegas has given me a whole new reason to explore. I was getting jaded on the normal touristy stuff, but now I'm looking forward to bringing other friends here to show them what I (or rather, Allison) found.
• There's been some discussion of going in the fall. I hope we do.

(I just wanted to share this picture of 80s TV stars)

Well, I managed to put off this entry for a long time. I found a point form synopsis, so I'll just crib from that.

Preamble

I was complaining that I wanted to do basically the same road trip that I did last year, only with about half the driving. That basically meant I had to get the car to Vancouver without me, so that I could drive it back. Wendy ended up volunteering to take my car out there, since it was also convenient for her. Thanks again Wendy!

While this was going on, Steph bought me tickets to see Steve Martin and Martin Short in Las Vegas, so now the plan was to fly to Vegas for a few nights, then fly to Vancouver, then drive back.

Las Vegas

Highlights of Vegas include an easy flight, meeting up with Steph and checking into our cheap-ass rooms at the Monte Carlo. We wandered over to the North Outlet mall and did some window shopping, then came back to watch a double-bill concert: Tears For Fears and Hall & Oates.

As far as the music was concerned, I'm a much bigger fan of Tears For Fears than I am of Hall & Oates. I loved the first half of the concert, and the second half was pretty decent too, except where they took a half an hour to play the last song, in a process I like to call "wanking". But what was really amazing was the people watching. There was a row of patrons that could have novels written about them.

There was the couple (the female half I kinda fell in love with, as she was luminous) that sat together, leaning into each other with an easy familiarity that spoke of a deep love and comfort in each others company. The concert could have existed just for the two of them. I'm a little envious.

A few seats over was the sour-faced couple. They scowled the whole time they were there, frowning and brows furrowed, but still bopping to the rhythm, almost against their will. Steph invented a backstory for them. Basically, just before they left for the concert, she caught him screwing the maid, and they're late to get to the concert, but by god, they are going to be having a discussion when they get home!

But the winner was the old guy in the trilby with a date. He was a couple rows ahead of us, and notably in the front row of our section. This meant he could stand and dance. And by "dance", I mean stand in front of his date, facing her (and away from the stage) swaying with his hands in his pockets. He did this for basically the entire concert. He wasn't quite in our line of vision , but he was close. Not so for a lot of other people who got to watch Tears For Fears And Some Dude, and Hall and Oates and Some Dude.

"Do you suppose this is their first date?"
"If it is, she's learning something valuable."

Seriously, he could have not watched the bands at home for cheaper.

The next day we had lunch at Holsteins (where I convinced Steph to split a milkshake and burger with me, since each of us getting one would have lead to suffering) and a few hours off the strip at the Pinball Hall of Fame, with a side trip to Nerdgazms (a geeky memorabilia store). Along the way, while deciding what to do in the evening, we decided to get "discount" tickets for the Cirque du Soleil show Michael Jackson: One. This lead to a comedy of errors, because I bought the tickets 121 minutes before the show, but you had to pick the tickets up two hours early. I failed to read that part of the fine print, and we ended up rushing Mandalay Bay to throw ourselves on the box office's mercy. I shouldn't have worried - they were very understanding, and we got our tickets. A quick drop off/wardrobe change at the room and we were back in time for the pre-show (always go to Cirque shows early).

And Michael Jackson: One? It had Cirque's usual outstanding acrobatics and dance. It also had possibly the best melding of wardrobe/props/fx that I've ever seen in a live show. Well worth it. The plot, such as it was, involved four teen agers being chased around the Neverland mansion by security and chanelling Michael's spirit through articles of clothing (hat/glove/jacket/shoes), all while regaining a sense of wonder. In short, it was like Michael Jackson was actually a lich, like Vecna.

We rounded out the evening with vodka cocktails and caviar at Red Square.

After Lunch on Sunday (Tequila Taqueria), Steph and I split up to do our own thing. We met up again that evening with special guest star othelianna and made our way to Caesars Palace to watch the show we came for: Steve Martin and Martin Short in an Evening You'll Forget For the Rest of Your Lives. You can watch it on Netflix now (since it took me nearly a year to finish writing this entry). It was a lot of fun, and we had a blast. After the show, I treated the ladies to my (current) favourite Vegas restaurant: China Poblano, a Chinese/Mexican fusion restaurant in the Cosmopolitan. It did not disappoint.

And on Monday we all went back to Vancouver. Found my car a mere two blocks from Port Wood.

Vancouver

Tuesday I saw Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. As MovieBob says, the'll be showing the first ten minutes of that movie a hundred years from now when doing Luc Besson retrospectives. Pity about the rest of the movie though. Also spent the day with Rosie thrifting and wound up at Storm Crow Tavern with Lou.

Wednesday was #DNDLive, and if you ever wondered why my trips to Van were often at the end of the month, there's your answer.

Thursday was beer day, with a car trip to Deep Cove distillery, Filmgo. Later, on foot, a self-guided tour of some of East Van's breweries: Callister, Powell, Andina. All worth a trip,

Saturday watched Atomic Blonde with garething, then went downtown to watch the fireworks. These were easily the best fireworks I've ever seen - Japan deserved their win. Making it even better, I shelled out for reserved seating for the show (in the past, I've stood in the crowds) which meant snacks and drinks, our own biffies(!) and I just hung around for a half an hour after the show to let the crowds disperse. Finally, I walked across downtown, which was super pleasant, since there were light crowds, and good weather - they gave the evening a chill mood. It would have been nice to hold hands with a partner, alas. This is now my go-to way to watch these fireworks.

Sunday I went to Chambar with Athena, and we had a sausage party at Port Wood.

Monday I went to Cabrito with Athena, Lou and Ken, then went to the Rio to catch the Harry Potter's Birthday Burlesque. While waiting in line to get in, someone gave me an extra ticket. A phone call later, and Athena came to join me. decent amateur geeky burlesque, but the Rio's balcony was hot as BALLS. Afterward, we sat out on St Augustine's patio and enjoyed adult beverages.

Tuesday I checked out and said goodbye to Desmond, the guardian cat of the apartment where I was staying. That's where I learned his name, because I ended up chatting with Desmond's owner (and also giving her the rest of the cat treats I'd bought earlier in the week to feed him whenever I went by). From there it was off to Port Wood to pick up the furniture I'd acquired over the last few months and jam it into my car. Then I began my drive home through the smoke.



Okanagan/Kootenay

So the interior of BC was largely on fire. It was super smokey all through my drive to Penticton, and it got worse the closer I got. After several hours I found my hotel and set out to find some grub. I ended up at Bad Tattoo Brewing, where I sampled some of their beer and had a decent pizza. The walk back was smoky and after dusk, so now Penticton looked like Silent Hill.



There was also the mystery of Penticton's water. I passed three water jug filling stations. The hive mind suggested that there isn't actually anything wrong with Penticton's tap water (it's likely the filling station's source), it's that there are a lot of cabins in the Okanagan valley that don't have running water.

I spent the morning exploring Penticton, then drove to Osoyoos and stopped for lunch. Finally, I reached Nelson and checked into the Hume hotel, where I would spend the next three nights. I had earlier convinced Joel to join me, so he biked there from Calgary. We ate at the Main Street Diner, then met up with Rosie and Kelly and had a nightcap at the Savoy.



Thursday was spent wandering around Nelson's main drag. That evening Janette, Joel, Rosie and I had a philosophy meeting at the Library Lounge. Friday we visited Balfour, went to the Ainsworth hot springs, and had a fantastic charcuterie at the hot spring's restaurant. And finally, a tour or Kaslo. We wound the evening out at Torchlight brewing. Incidentally, Janette makes an excellent tour guide.



Saturday we checked out from our hotels, and checked out the hippiest farmer's market in the world. Joel opted to go straight back to Calgary (but ended up taking a ridiculously long and miserable ride home because they closed the highway due to fires. I went to Kimberley and discovered a very long stairway, had supper at the Pedal & Tap and breakfast at Stonefire pizza. Also got serenaded by Happy Hans, the yodelling cuckoo clock. It was madness inducing. Then I drove to Radium and spent a pleasant hour soaking in the hot springs.



The highway was open when I left Radium, so I took a hair-raising drive up highway 93. Along the way, I got to see multiple water bombers, and gouts of flame that went higher than the trees. And those fires were within a stone's throw of the highway. Alas, there were signs admonishing people to not stop their vehicles, and since I wasn't going to try driving and shooting a camera simultaneously, there are no pictures. I assure you, it was quite the terrifying spectacle.

Finally, I managed to hit Banff during the worst of the traffic. So much so that I couldn't find parking, and decided to just straight home.

I drank a lot of beer, hung out with lots of good friends, and had a fantastic time.

I decided to go to Las Vegas for my birthday. Or, more accurately, I decided to go see Postmodern Jukebox in concert in Vegas. The point of the trip was the concert, and I could have gone to another city (Chicago, say) just as easily. However, it had been a few years since I'd been to Las Vegas, and there were a few things I wanted to checkout aside from PMJ.

I booked a vacation package through Westjet that included decent flights (November 24th morning outbound and November 27th Evening inbound), and a room at The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. I opted to upgrade my room to a one bedroom terrace, which was surprisingly inexpensive. For some reason, rooms have always been cheap in Vegas around my birthday (or as the Yanks call it, Thanksgiving).


(My home away from home)

I normally don't need much in the way of a room. My requirements are basically a comfortable bed and a place to throw my stuff. However, one of the reasons why I choose a one bedroom suite was to entice my friends to come join me. If someone took me up on that, they'd have been able to skip the hotel room costs and just used a cot in the sitting area of the suite. No one took me up on that offer, though I'm confident several people thought seriously about it. Time and money did not line up though.


(The view south from my suite)

All that said, I really liked the room I got, even by myself, and I'd seriously consider getting it again in the future. The room was comfortable, roomy, had a nice soaker tub (allowing me to have my first bath in ages - fun fact, I have never had a bath in the house I've owned for twelve years), and the balcony was a nice treat. Just sitting outside enjoying a drink in the evening was a plus.


(The view north from my suite)

Food

So I'm on Weight Watchers, and I've actually been following the program and losing weight. I decided that, while I wasn't going to be slavish to the program while I was away, I was going to go into the trip with a plan:

1. My WW "week" ends on Thursday night and begins on Friday morning, So save all my bonus points from the week before for Thursday, and use all my bonus points for the next week right at the beginning, sticking within my daily points with no bonus after I return.
   
2. Skip breakfast, since I was just going to sleep in anyway.
   
3. No buffets.
   
4. Two really good meals each day, from decent restaurants. If salad is a side option, choose it. As a wise woman once told me, salad may not be food, but it does help push the food through.
   
5. One beer and one cocktails each day. I'm be by myself, so there's no reason to get drunk.
   
6. No snacking between meals. I tend to pound back chocolates, treats, popcorn if I let myself.

As you can see, I wasn't a nightmare of deprivation. I figured while I wouldn't lose any weight, I wasn't going to gain any either.

I lost two pounds. And I wasn't hungry at all - I ate really well. So, some highlights:

• Thursday lunch: The Earl of Sandwich's Holiday Turkey sandwich. It was American Thanksgiving after all. Plus I love that sandwich and only ever get to an EofS when I'm in Vegas.
  
• Thursday supper: Holsteins at the Cosmopolitan. I had the Rising Sun burger. They also give free popcorn, which is one of those little flourishes that I love. Alas, I did not have one of their boozy milkshakes, which I imagine is one of those things you're supposed to do. Next time I'm there with a friend, we'll split one.
  
• Friday lunch: Eggslut at the Cosmopolitan. The Bacon, Egg & Cheese Sandwich. A really good take on one of the basics.
  
• Friday supper: China Poblano at the Cosmopolitan. I opted for the tasting menu, which included a wide variety of the their menu. This was the best meal I had the whole trip. Highly recommended.
  
• Saturday lunch: California Pizza Kitchen at the Park. These guys tried to kill me with kindness. First, they had that effusive service that I've noticed a lot of American restaurants have. Next, they had just opened, so they were trying to impress me. That meant free appetizers (bread/oil/vinegar, white corn guacamole and chips), that I didn't ask for in addition to the pizza (Sicilian) that was too big for me to finish. It worked, I recommended them on Facebook, and I'll recommend them to you, if you're in a social mood and in the neighbourhood.
  
• Saturday supper: Culinary Dropout at the Hard Rock. Ribs. Very messy ribs.
  
• Sunday Lunch: Left over pizza.
  
• Sunday Supper: I returned to Holsteins for ahi sliders and a (non-alcoholic) milkshake.
  
• Sunday's missed opportunity: I should have grabbed the fried rice from China Poblano for my flight home. I was going to, but changed my mind at the last minute. Naturally, there was no food service on my flight (it was bumpy enough that the pilot wouldn't let the flight attendants get out of their seats for an hour), and a guy two rows ahead of me had fried rice. Kicked myself there.

Pretty much everything I had was delicious. Holsteins is no better or worse than the other upscale burger joints. China Poblano was the stand out of all my meals.

Shows

I go to Vegas for the shows, and as I mentioned above, I went to see Postmodern Jukebox. That was on Saturday night. First, The Joint at the Hard Rock is a decent venue, and I had excellent seats, at least until the retired linebacker sat directly in front of me. This is probably some kind of seat karma since, I look like Shrek, and I've probably disturbed many a person's view in my lifetime. Mostly I just moved my head to the side, which no doubt caused a cascade of similar motions behind me.

And the show? It was a blast and I'm glad I went. The personal highlight was me white boy dancing to their version of My Heart Will Go On. Of note, I'm probably the only person - who is not a Celine Dion fan - that still loves that song. Don't judge me.



Mykal Kilgore, who sings the above version was the show's emcee. Scott Bradlee was there too, even though he doesn't really tour with the band. Best of all, Puddles made an appearance, and played Royals.


(Postmodern Jukebox, during their encore)

Thursday night I went to see Pin Up with Claire Sinclair. I'm not sure how popular this show was, but I easily got half-price tickets (making the VIP section a mere $35), and the venue was maybe half full. I had a four-person table to myself about ten feet from the stage. Still, it was Thanksgiving Thursday, so I have no idea if that means more or less people than average.

The show was decent enough, but it's certainly no better than the other showgirl shows I've seen in Vegas (Jubilee, Fantasy, Crazy Horse Paris). Claire is certainly an attractive woman, and the four dancers were really good, but I think the show really belonged to Natalie, the singer. She's got a great set of pipes, and is certainly multi-talented. I wonder if she resents that she's holding up the show, and Ms. Sinclair gets top billing. Rounding out the show is the male side, one dancer, who does all the heavy lifting (literally), and a four piece band who played some fun retro tunes. There is no nudity - the closest is Claire in pasties and a thong - mostly the dancers are dressed in skimpy fashions from the forties to sixties, which is really the shows selling point. Note also, that Claire is only in about half the numbers. If you're looking for a more modern look, go see Fantasy. That said, I liked Pin Up, but I knew what I was getting before I paid for the ticket.

If you want some music, burlesque, singing, in an inexpensive venue, consider Pin Up. Join the Stratosphere's players club for half-off tickets first though.

Friday night I saw Jim Jefferies, the comic. If you've seen anything by him, it's probably his gun control routine. If you've seen anything more of him, you'll know he's ridiculously offensive. His last two shows are on Netflix. Check 'em out. But be aware, he's a little like a living Cards Against Humanity game - you will be offended. A lot of people walked out of the show.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it (right up until he went after Canadians - which I'll admit was spot on), and I think we got good value for our money. It's supposed to be a 90 minute show, but he was a wee bit drunk, and ended up going an hour over. I think the Mirage staff were a little pissed. He did a solid 30 minutes on the election/Trump, and it was really some stuff that I needed to hear. Politically, the world is still fucked - but it's nice to hear about it and laugh, rather than the huge amount of anger/frustration/worry I'd been having until then.

Miscellaneous

Went to the North Outlet mall and bought some clothing. This replaced the crappy clothing I deliberately abandoned in my hotel room.

I checked out the High Roller. That was fun, but try to get cheap tickets. It's basically a half an hour, once around, on a giant Ferris wheel, with a great view of the strip. I was there during the golden hour, so we got to see the sun set and the lights come on. Not a bad time to see it. I think, if I'm ever in Vegas with a big group again, we should try to do this and all get on the same car.


(Before entering)


(View of the Bellagio fountains)


(Sunset from high above Las Vegas)


(after exiting)

I did a lot of gambling on this trip. First, because I enjoy it, and also because I collect chips. I checked out about seven casinos I'd never been to before. Luck was with me this time - I bet in the neighbourhood of $600 total (basically I staked $150/day), and overall I won $1100. Easily the best streak of good luck I've ever had. This paid for all my shows and meals.


(A fraction of my winnings)

Conclusion

This was a good trip. It wasn't perfect - I could have stood with either a travelling companion and/or a bedroom companion, but that was not to be. It was a damn sight better than my last solo trip.

So why was this time better than that other time? I was just as alone, I did more-or-less the same things. The difference was that I wasn't sick as a dog, and not being sick as a dog, being alone wasn't triggering. I like not being triggered into a depression when I'm supposed to be having a good time. I came anticipating a good time, had a good time, and left happy and sated. That's the sign of a good vacation.



So my burn out is gone, but I won't be back until I convince someone to go with me. That's been my habit the last few years: solo, group, solo, group... etc. I might drive down next summer. Take three weeks to go down to Las Vegas, Los Angeles, San Francisco, then back up the coast to Vancouver. Still very preliminary, but seems worth doing.

Wow, it's been over a month since I blogged. I blame this on my utter despair over anything political right now. Thankfully I just came back from Vegas, giving me lots of grist for the mill!

Several months of planning went into this trip, and by planning, I mean nagging everyone I know to join me. Having had an earlier trip get whittled down from eight people to just me meant I knew that this was only going to go off if the stars were right and this time they were. Rounding out the trip was Brian, Tasha, Bruce, Allison and Melissa, the last being from the Windy City and everyone else coming from Cowtown.

( Six people, six days, six times the fun... )

I did my taxes yesterday. I owed an additional $4200. This has been paid and that chore is done for another year.

Before you go feeling sorry for this huge outlay in cash, I consider it a first-world problem (as they're coming to be known). The simple fact of the matter is that I wouldn't have to pay $4200 in additional taxes if I hadn't made an additional $12000 this year. I live in a country and have a job where that's possible, so I'm not going to complain about it too much. It adds a few months to my mortgage, but that's about all.

Still, I'm not going to Vancouver (or San Francisco) this weekend (unless I trip over an astonishing travel deal) - just can't afford it right now. I have a four-day weekend, so I might spend Friday or Monday in Banff - it depends on how I'm feeling that day.

This is a reminder that I'll be in Vancouver this summer though - that hasn't been canceled. Plans continue to be vague and ephemeral:

• June 24 (F): travel to AT War.
  
• June 25 (S): AT War - kick some archery ass.
  
• June 26 (U): AT War - Pack up, say goodbye and drive to Vancouver.
  
• June 27 (M): Fly to Vegas with stephtopia and anyone else I can talk into it. See Love again.
  
• June 28 (T): Unspecified Vegas debauchery, possibly to include Absinthe (the show, not the drink).
  
• June 29 (W): Gambling, drinking, whoring.
  
• June 30 (R): I kind of want to see this or maybe this. Oh, and catch my flight back to Vancouver.
  
• July 01 (F): Fireworks! Ale!
  
• July 02 (S): Friends! Ale!
  
• July 03 (U): Sushi! Ale!
  
• July 04 (M): Friends! Sushi! Ale! Sadly no fireworks.
  
• July 05 (T): Drive to Nelson, since I hear that's a decent place despite not being able to get a cup of coffee before 9 am.
  
• July 06 (W): Drive to Calgary, possibly via Radium.
  
• July 07 (R): Go to Dragonslayer site and help set up.
  
• July 08 (F): Help with Dragonslayer.
  
• July 09 (S): Help with Dragonslayer.
  
• July 10 (U): Help clean up Dragonslayer.

All-in-all a super-busy and fun-filled vacation. I'm looking forward to it.

They caught the Bellagio Bandit that I talked about back here. The biggest thing I got wrong in my analysis? I asserted that he was smarter then average, but thought he was smarter. I only got the second half of that right - turns out he's actually about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

On Dec. 11, Carleo allegedly told the [poker] dealer he needed quick money and said, "Man, how easy would it be to rob a casino?"

The dealer told police Carleo dismissed the notion that it would be difficult, allegedly saying, "All you need is a black mask and a motorcycle, and I have a motorcycle."

Later, after the robbery, he went on a gambling spree at the Bellagio, proceeded to cash a bunch of those chips (any cash transaction over $10K in the states is tracked) despite having no means of income, and blabbed about it to people in person and on the net.

During subsequent talks on the phone and more e-mails — from cranberrykid25@yahoo.com, a reference to the color of the $25,000 chips, and signed "Biker Bandit" — Brooks told Bellagio investigators the subject allegedly confessed to the Bellagio robbery.

Source.

And to top it all off? The kid is the son of a Las Vegas Municipal Judge and allegedly owed $250K to the mob.

Clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Police say they're trying to find a helmet-wearing gunman who robbed one of Las Vegas' most recognizable casinos of $1.5 million in casino chips Tuesday morning -- and may also have robbed a different casino last week.

Source

It wasn't me, I wasn't there, you can't prove anything. Plus, I don't know how to ride a motorcycle.

The first rule of gambling is to not bet anything you're unwilling to lose. Problem gamblers forget that, because the house edge will always get you eventually. This guy is gambling his freedom. The house edge is the entire Las Vegas establishment and law enforcement want this guy caught. Someone successfully robbing one of the most recognizable casinos on Earth is not the kind of PR that MGM Mirage wants. They're not really "out" any real money at this point, but they will move heaven and Earth to find this guy because they don't want a repeat.

Here is my wild-ass guessing about the case:

• The suspect is smarter than average. We know this because the heist shows good planning and preparation.
  
• He's not that smart - casino chips are not that liquid and high-end chips are almost impossible to use anonymously.
  
• He's probably desperate for quick cash, hence two robberies in two weeks.
  
• He's working alone. Too many potential failure points in his plan could have been removed with an extra set of hands.

Alternatively, he's a thrill-seeker who's not doing it for the money. This makes him more dangerous because he'll keep upping the ante.

The plan:

1. Make sure that a table close to an exit is in play.
   
2. Park the motorcycle at the valet stand.
   
3. Run into the casino wearing a full helmet.
   
4. Pull a gun on the table and grab their chips.
   
5. Hightail it out of the casino to the waiting motorcycle.
   
6. Drive away like all the demons of hell are right behind you.

The points where the plan can fail:

1. You can only do this if you've cased the place, which puts you on casino surveillance, either immediately before the heist, or at the same time of day. If the casino rotates which pits are in use during the slow times (like 3:30 am. on a Monday morning), the odds of one being near an exit are lowered.
   
2. And hope no one messes with your motorcycle.
   
3. Concealing your face in a casino is a pretty big "tell". Door and floor security plus the guys watching the monitors should all be paying attention at this point.
   
4. Casino policy is probably to just give an armed man whatever he wants. The risk here is some tough guy deciding to be a hero. This isn't real predictable. The pit boss should be tripping a silent alarm and the guys on the monitors should be aware of a robbery now if they weren't before. The police are being contacted.
   
5. If you watch the tapes of this guy, you'll see he's constantly craning his head on the way out - that helmet is now a liability because it keeps him from identifying peripheral threats. He's at greater risk to that random tough guy.
   
6. He's in shit if his bike isn't there or it's been disabled. If the bike is still there he's now in danger of getting in a chase with LVPD.

So here's a guy that planned and executed a heist. The heist seems likely to have been done by a lone individual who planned out as best he could how to do it by himself. He minimized but could not eliminate all the risk. The problem is the end-game - how do you spend $1.5M worth of chips? Remember, he doesn't have $1.5M in real money. High-end chips have RFID tags on them, so they can be identified. I'm not sure if all of the chips have RFIDs on them, but given the denominations were $1000 and up, I think it's likely (there's really no good reason for not IDing any casino chip worth more than the RFID tag itself).

Now just because a chip has an RFID (or equivalent) on it doesn't necessarily mean an alarm is going to go off as soon as you walk in the door. Maybe they only get scanned when security is bringing them in or out of a pit. If this is the case, you could (with decent timing) walk up to a roulette table and start playing with your naughty chips, which effectively launders some of them. Doing so in a way that doesn't raise behavioral flags to security is hard and would take a lot of patience. The robber's new "job" might be to walk into the casino every day with $1000 worth of dirty chips and lose his way down to $500 worth of clean chips. That's better then what I make, but I don't risk going to jail.

The casino can swap out the chips for ones of a different colour. This serves to visually identify them and keeps them out of play. Of course, there's always chips floating around in peoples' pockets, which allows the robber some leeway. OTOH it forces anyone with chips to cash them immediately rather then launder them by playing, effectively eliminating the "job" option above.

Even if the chips don't have some kind of unique identifier on them, I've been told it's rather hard to cash them if you can't prove you've been playing. Walk up to a cage with $5000 in chips and be prepared for the third degree if you can't immediately point at a pit and say "I've been playing blackjack there for the last two hours".

There are two other ways of converting chips to cash that don't involve the casino. The first is to use them in Las Vegas' underground economy. The second is to simply sell them to someone at a discount. Ten cents on the dollar is still a remarkable haul for armed robbery. The Bellagio greatly reduced the chances of this happening by publicizing that the chips are useless. Only the truly dumb or desperate are going to be buying discount Bellagio chips for awhile. And if someone where to offer them to you, you might start wondering if the Bellagio was offering any sort of reward.

It's possible the robber knows of a way to cash a large amount of chips that bypasses the scanners and the cages - if that's the case it's now a job with insider knowledge.

Here's how he's going to get caught:

He talks to someone. Loose lips sink ships and they sink criminals too. At some point he's either talked about his plan to someone (perhaps back when it was still idle speculation rather than anything concrete) or he's bragged about it. People remember conversations and they can tell the authorities.

Even if he doesn't talk, he needs to convert the chips to money, that exposes him to the casino or people who could report him to the authorities.

Maybe he was sloppy before the heist - If I were casino security I'd certainly be curious about people near the craps pit in the weeks prior to the robbery.

Maybe he never gets caught and has a story to tell his grand-kids about years after the statute of limitations runs out.

Turns out lots of people I know are going to Las Vegas. Some are going in two weeks and some are going in three. I'm going in four - which means my intentions are good, but my aim is awful.

I was asked if I had any tips. In fact I do! I'm not a Vegas expert by any means, but I've been there twice now and I've chatted with people who have been there more, so here's what I've learned:

1. The Las Vegas Strip is much larger than you think. If someone says, "It's two blocks away" consider taking a cab.
   
   
2. Read through a travel guide at least a week before you get there. They will guide you toward the better shows/restaurants/attractions. Additionally, http://vegasmessageboard.com/ has been invaluable (and damned entertaining) to me.
   
   
3. Don't be afraid to take some "me" time. Some people like shows, some people like to gamble. Some people like high-end restaurants, others like cheap buffets. Not everyone likes to do the same thing all the time. You don't need to do everything together.
   
   
4. If there is an expensive show/restaurant/attraction that you want to go to, figure out where it is and join that casino's players club (they're all free, they just want to track your gambling). Typically you can get 2-for-1 tickets when you do this. This is how we saw Penn & Teller (Harrahs Group) and Cirque's Ka (MGM/Mirage group). Given the number of discount websites around, you shouldn't have to pay full price for anything. Just do some mouse-work before you go.
   
   
5. That girl who sat next to you at the slot machine asking how to play the slots doesn't actually care about slot machines. Similarly, the cards the young men on the street corner are handing out are not free samples for a new Collectible Card Game.
   
   
6. Remember that nobody headlines in Vegas unless they're supremely entertaining, so if a companion suggests "Carrot Top" or "Barry Manilow", don't immediately poo-poo the idea - you'll probably still have a good time. The only exception is Chris Angel's "Believe" show.
   
   
7. It's not all about Vegas headliners - see if there are any concerts playing. That's how I found out about Roger Water's "The Wall 30th Anniversary" tour hitting my hotel the Saturday I'm out there. I haven't gotten tickets for that, but I'm going to try for some last minute ones when I'm there.
   
   
8. A polite request for free room upgrades at the hotel check-in might yield positive results, especially if you discretely slip them $20. If nothing else, a strip view on a high floor near the elevator will improve even the worst class of room. There's no guarantee that it will work though - think of it as the first of many gambles over the weekend.
   
   
9. Don't gamble more then you can afford to lose. Roulette is easy to play but has poor odds. Blackjack is harder, but the odds for good players approach 50/50. Only poker players make money in Vegas (because they're not playing against the house), and that's only if you're very very good.
   
   
10. The exception to "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is criminal charges and STDs - they won't stay in Vegas. Make sure that all of your debauchery is safe.

30 days to the RV½M! I'm in no way prepared since I haven't been running enough to really get in shape for it. Fuck it, I can still do it. It just means I'll hurt a little for the week after. Sunday I'll run 15k. Two weeks later I'll run 18k.

76 days to Vegas!