Blinking Implications

[jamesq]

I've had two Robax and a Barley Wine, so be warned that I'm pretty fucked up.

A trait of my life is that I don't make friends easily. When I do make them though, those friendships tend to be rock solid. The latter part of this trait is something I'm very grateful for.

My friends seem to have a blind spot about this. They tend to forget the fact that sometimes the friendship took a long time to occur. I'm hearing all the time what a great guy I am (and not being in the middle of a depressive episode right now, I'm inclined to believe them).

The end result of this is that I have lots of female friends who are firmly in the just friends category. There's nothing wrong with that, but it does make me wonder what the hell is going on.

I started reading Blink today, it might have an explanation. I suspect my mate-less-ness is a direct result of sending out some kind of subconscious signal that there is something wrong with me. This signal is probably picked up by potential mates near instantly. And there's nothing I can do about it - it's connected to me on a fundamental level - even if I knew what the signal was, I probably can't do anything about it.

RAting someone for potential romance is one of those things that seems to be determined by the subconscious in a short amount of time. Evaluating someone for friendship takes longer. Thus I have two sets of largely separate traits. Ones that say "don't even think about having sex with this person" and ones that say "this is a true and loyal friend". This probably indicates that I'm stuck with the problem. That being the case, I should learn to live with it.

Of course, I'm pretty drunk right now. Does that mean I'm being irrational or does it mean that I'm allowing my subconscious to make correct deductions? As an INTP it offends me that our sub-conscious is such a powerful decision-making tool. However the evidence suggests that it's possible. I want to use the full force of my intellect and think that everyone else should too. Sadly attraction is not something in the control of the rational mind. Stupid brain.

Comments

[wendy-licious.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with this. Self-confident people are generally considered more attractive so it would make sense that low self-confidence is unattractive. So it is something that can change - not easily, but it can change.

[oblivions.livejournal.com]

You just need to tap that well of confidence that earned the Balls. :D