Not a Mother of the Year or Mensa Candidate

[jamesq]

Browsing on Fark today I found this joyless little story:

A woman accused of not reporting her daughter missing for five weeks refused to answer a judge's question of where her daughter was in a bizarre missing person case that continues to frustrate investigators.

Now the obvious assumption is that this woman killed her kid, possibly directly, possibly through neglect (same thing happened a few years ago here in Cowtown).

I guess it's remotely possible that some weird-ass series of events conspired to take this woman's baby from her and she genuinely felt that contacting the authorities was a worst-case scenario. The sort of Hollywood-esque story that Jodie Foster would get cast in. It is for the authorities to sort out what the truth is. But the smart money is on her ditching her kid somewhere and simply hoping that nobody would notice.

Lets leave aside, for the moment, what would make a person abandon/neglect/kill their child. What makes you think that nobody would notice? The answer, I think, is that they don't consider the actions beyond the moment. They simply don't think that far ahead. These are not criminal masterminds.

If it were me - and if I were a psycho-rat-bastard - I sure as hell wouldn't stick around. I'd become estranged from my family and move far away to where nobody knew me. Original location: Woman had a kid and moved. New Location: Single woman shows up who never had a kid. If the kid is young enough you might be able to ignore the paper trail assuming nobody was looking for the child.

Of course, that level of forethought pretty much means I wouldn't find myself in that situation in the first place.

Best suggestion I heard in the Fark thread: We need to let people know that they have another option. Leave your kid at the hospital/police station/fire department. Make it somewhat anonymous (i.e. just enough questions so that the kids don't have unknown medical issues) so that it doesn't scare too many away. Especially if the mother isn't an adult yet. Of course, that option needs to actually exist. It might even exist, but I sure don't know.

Of course this kid was three years old and the mom was 22, so it might not apply to her specifically. But then again, maybe it would have helped - maybe if that was an option three years ago, she wouldn't have done - something else - now?

Now we have a mystery who's most likely outcome is tragedy for the child and punishment for the mother.

Comments

[gifted-spirit.livejournal.com]

I am struggling to keep my screaming yowler closed on this volatile soap box WHICH is the wisest thing this mother could do.

As soon as a child is born.. the parents are guilty. Like any religion, everyone else knows what is " right" and " sane" and " reasonable".

Before ANYONE casts their first stone... I would hope they would be willing to spend.. say.. even 5 days alone with my youngest. ( keeping in mind that he is a good kid as far as kids go). Heck, even the unleashed one.

Unlike donations to your local charity, kid's can't be just dumped "for their well being " on the door step in a moses basket as the movies portray it. No matter what you do.. you WILL BE charged with ( at the very minimum) neglect & abandonment charges.

I have had women come up and scream at me in parking lots that I am an unfit mother, that people like me shouldn't be allowed to even have children in the first place. ( As Joel about that scene) I have also sat at 3 am, alone in my bedroom with a child held under the arm pits and using every fiber of my existence to PUT THE CHILD DOWN. NOT out of love.. out of the knowledge of how easy it would be to " make it shut up". The only reason my children are alive is not become of some supremacy on my part.. but the fact that I had support networks that weren't "professionals" and who had been there themselves.

I will NOT even think to pick up a stone. I don't know the whole story.

The truest statement? "most likely outcome is tragedy for the child and punishment for the mother."

[jamesq]

This folks, is exactly why I don't have kids, and why I think a no fault instant "adoption to the state" is a better idea then nothing.