![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
May. 2nd, 2008
A Pair of Minor Epiphanies
May. 2nd, 2008 12:39 pm1) Don't whine unless you're willing to do something in addition to the whining. Hence this morning's run.
2) While running, I thought about the fact that I wasn't in the shape I was last October when I ran the half-marathon. I'm at a point where I can run for about a kilometer and a half without a break. With breaks (about a minute of walking between each 1-1/2 Km segment) I can probably do 10 Km. Enough to finish next weekend's Forzani's Race, though I won't be setting any personal bests.
I might be irritated by the fact that I can't run as well as today as I did six months ago, but I don't view it as a moral failing. That I will have to go through thresholds of improvement is not, in my mind, anything other then an acknowledgment of simple facts. I have to get to the point where I can run two km straight, then five, then ten, then push the overall distance up to 22 km if I want to do the run again six months from now (and I do).
Weight-loss, OTOH, I don't see the same way. Losing 40 pounds (again), then 45, then 50, etc. all the way up to an eventual 70 pounds off seems like a Sisyphean task. Partly because I haven't actually achieved it even once yet, whereas I've gone from can-barely-walk-due-to-injury to 10 km non-stop multiple times in the last ten years. Partly because I worry that no matter how hard I try, If I ever do fall back to square one, that I'm doomed to stay there. And of course there are all the toxic "reasons" I outlined previously.
Intellectually, there should be no difference between the two. In both cases I'm training the body to push it's limits in the direction of better health. I know that the simple facts of physics will eventually have the response I want. My brain knows this. My heart thinks of them differently. As a good little INTP that's identified the mental problem I have to believe my brain. To hell with my lying emotions.
2) While running, I thought about the fact that I wasn't in the shape I was last October when I ran the half-marathon. I'm at a point where I can run for about a kilometer and a half without a break. With breaks (about a minute of walking between each 1-1/2 Km segment) I can probably do 10 Km. Enough to finish next weekend's Forzani's Race, though I won't be setting any personal bests.
I might be irritated by the fact that I can't run as well as today as I did six months ago, but I don't view it as a moral failing. That I will have to go through thresholds of improvement is not, in my mind, anything other then an acknowledgment of simple facts. I have to get to the point where I can run two km straight, then five, then ten, then push the overall distance up to 22 km if I want to do the run again six months from now (and I do).
Weight-loss, OTOH, I don't see the same way. Losing 40 pounds (again), then 45, then 50, etc. all the way up to an eventual 70 pounds off seems like a Sisyphean task. Partly because I haven't actually achieved it even once yet, whereas I've gone from can-barely-walk-due-to-injury to 10 km non-stop multiple times in the last ten years. Partly because I worry that no matter how hard I try, If I ever do fall back to square one, that I'm doomed to stay there. And of course there are all the toxic "reasons" I outlined previously.
Intellectually, there should be no difference between the two. In both cases I'm training the body to push it's limits in the direction of better health. I know that the simple facts of physics will eventually have the response I want. My brain knows this. My heart thinks of them differently. As a good little INTP that's identified the mental problem I have to believe my brain. To hell with my lying emotions.
Upside Up!
May. 2nd, 2008 11:39 pmMy mood today was much improved. I got up on time, had a really good run, got lots accomplished at work, got off early for a change and, of course, it was Friday.
Went to archery practice and shot like shit. Oh well. I know there's something I'm doing consistently wrong that I used to do right and I just can't put my finger on it. Could it just be my general low confidence? Do I need to lose weight to shoot better? My aim shouldn't be related to my weight, but I seem to have connect the two in my mind.
Socialized with lots of good folks today. If I hadn't shot at all I'd probably be in just as good a mood.
I was hoping to go to the Hop in Brew pub this evening. I even got![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
garething to do the driving to archery (and really, with the price of gas these days I just might start doing that regularly with either him or devoidofthought, just to save the 50 km trip) so that I could drink without having to abandon my car downtown. Sadly the get together at the HnB was cancelled (or was simply never formalized and I'd misinterpreted idle speculation as an actual plan).
We did end up going to Brewsters instead. It was there that I discovered my new favorite beer - the Blackfoot Blueberry Wheat Ale. It was very tasty and one bottle put me right on the line between tipsy and drunk. Two would have probably knocked me on my ass.
Which is really strange because it's only 5%.oblivions told me it was 9%, so I wonder if I was tipsy because of the actual alcohol content or if it was a subtle form of suggestion - I think it's powerful, so I react as if it's powerful.
It's also possible that I'm a candy ass when it comes to booze.
Anyway, I'm feeling much better. it helps that I've only used 5 of my bonus points today. and tomorrow is Farmers' Market, Costco, In Nomine and Rock Band. Yay me.
Ok I might still be just the tiniest bit drunk (I know because I was a bit of a blabbermouth in the car coming home and had an attention span somewhere between "ferret" and "Jenny"). But I'm going to bed now so it's all good.
Went to archery practice and shot like shit. Oh well. I know there's something I'm doing consistently wrong that I used to do right and I just can't put my finger on it. Could it just be my general low confidence? Do I need to lose weight to shoot better? My aim shouldn't be related to my weight, but I seem to have connect the two in my mind.
Socialized with lots of good folks today. If I hadn't shot at all I'd probably be in just as good a mood.
I was hoping to go to the Hop in Brew pub this evening. I even got
garething to do the driving to archery (and really, with the price of gas these days I just might start doing that regularly with either him or devoidofthought, just to save the 50 km trip) so that I could drink without having to abandon my car downtown. Sadly the get together at the HnB was cancelled (or was simply never formalized and I'd misinterpreted idle speculation as an actual plan).We did end up going to Brewsters instead. It was there that I discovered my new favorite beer - the Blackfoot Blueberry Wheat Ale. It was very tasty and one bottle put me right on the line between tipsy and drunk. Two would have probably knocked me on my ass.
Which is really strange because it's only 5%.
oblivions told me it was 9%, so I wonder if I was tipsy because of the actual alcohol content or if it was a subtle form of suggestion - I think it's powerful, so I react as if it's powerful.It's also possible that I'm a candy ass when it comes to booze.
Anyway, I'm feeling much better. it helps that I've only used 5 of my bonus points today. and tomorrow is Farmers' Market, Costco, In Nomine and Rock Band. Yay me.
Ok I might still be just the tiniest bit drunk (I know because I was a bit of a blabbermouth in the car coming home and had an attention span somewhere between "ferret" and "Jenny"). But I'm going to bed now so it's all good.
