Fraud and Instant Karma

I wanted to make a contingency plan for the Cuba trip/jury duty conundrum that I find myself in. Being a fairly big and tall person I was also thinking about upgrading my puny human seat on the Air Transat plane to the Hulk smash sized seats. That's when I had the following idea:

What if I upgrade the seats to first class and piggy-back the cancellation insurance (that I didn't get before) onto the upgrade! If I end up going to Cuba I get some leg and shoulder room. If I end up doing my civic duty, I get most of my money back from the trip, less the insurance.

Win Win! Aside from being ever-so-slightly fraudulent.

So I go to the travel agency over lunch today. I walk in and talk to the agent in charge of the trip.

"Hi", I say, "I was wondering if I could ask you a question about my trip?"

I hand her my itinerary so she knows what trip I'm talking about.

"Oh, James", she says, realizing who I am. "Is this about your jury duty, because I'm afraid you're locked into the trip."

blink blink. How the hell could she know about that. Is the provincial government in cahoots with the travel industry? Is my life really an elaborate game of Illuminati?

"Your friend stephtopia came in and told me all about it." said the agent, clearing up the mystery.
"stephtopia. Right. I'll have to thank her" I say flatly.

First class on Air Transat, as it turns out, is going to cost me $350. Assuming I go for it and assuming I can go at all.

I'm still confident that I can get out of jury duty simply by pleading my case. However, they don't have to let me out of it. They can be perfectly legal assholes about it. I just don't think they want a potentially hostile juror sitting in their trial, whoever they are.

I remain cautiously optimistic.

(no subject)

Copy and paste into a new email post. When you are done, send it on, including to the person who sent it to you. *Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following... *they have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. (WHICH BY THE WAY IS HARD IF YOU ALREADY READ THEIR ANSWERS) You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl.

1. What is your name: James.
2. Four letter word: Jeez!
3. Vehicle: Jeep.
4. City: Jakarta
5. Boy Name: Jeff.
6. Girl Name: Jenny.
7. Alcoholic drink: Jägermeister.
8. Occupation: Jockey.
9. Something you wear: Jeans.
10. Celebrity: Janeane Garofalo.
11. Food: Jalapeños.
12. Something found in a bathroom: John.
13. Reason for being late: Job.
14. Cartoon Character: Jiminy Cricket.
15. Something you shout: JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION. GET IN THE CAR.
16. Animal: Jackrabbit.
17. Body part: Jaw.
18. Word to describe you: jackass judicious.