Fraud and Instant Karma

[jamesq]

I wanted to make a contingency plan for the Cuba trip/jury duty conundrum that I find myself in. Being a fairly big and tall person I was also thinking about upgrading my puny human seat on the Air Transat plane to the Hulk smash sized seats. That's when I had the following idea:

What if I upgrade the seats to first class and piggy-back the cancellation insurance (that I didn't get before) onto the upgrade! If I end up going to Cuba I get some leg and shoulder room. If I end up doing my civic duty, I get most of my money back from the trip, less the insurance.

Win Win! Aside from being ever-so-slightly fraudulent.

So I go to the travel agency over lunch today. I walk in and talk to the agent in charge of the trip.

"Hi", I say, "I was wondering if I could ask you a question about my trip?"

I hand her my itinerary so she knows what trip I'm talking about.

"Oh, James", she says, realizing who I am. "Is this about your jury duty, because I'm afraid you're locked into the trip."

blink blink. How the hell could she know about that. Is the provincial government in cahoots with the travel industry? Is my life really an elaborate game of Illuminati?

"Your friend stephtopia came in and told me all about it." said the agent, clearing up the mystery.
"stephtopia. Right. I'll have to thank her" I say flatly.

First class on Air Transat, as it turns out, is going to cost me $350. Assuming I go for it and assuming I can go at all.

I'm still confident that I can get out of jury duty simply by pleading my case. However, they don't have to let me out of it. They can be perfectly legal assholes about it. I just don't think they want a potentially hostile juror sitting in their trial, whoever they are.

I remain cautiously optimistic.

Comments

[othelianna.livejournal.com]

My fingers are crossed for you.

(I love your icon, by the way.)

[thekillerb69.livejournal.com]

Just tell them you are a poker player and those skills have taught you to spot a guilty person every time.

[jamesq]

"I can tell if they're guilty or not by the colour of their skin!"

I'm fairly certain I didn't accuse you of being an idiot.

[jamesq]

I was just a little annoyed that I got caught flat-footed in my cunning plan. Would the plan have worked? Probably not. I'd have to convince them to do "one little thing" that is actually against the rules. Plus there were probably multiple layers of bureaucracy I'd have had to trick. Odds were unlikely from the get go.

As an introvert, it's disconcerting to have total strangers know details about my personal life. Yes, that means LJ itself is a huge contradiction in my life.

[sagaciouslu.livejournal.com]

I fuckin' hate Air Transat. Asshats.

That being said, I think Steph's notion above is a good one; you've already made a commitment in the legal realm. Let the yahoos know. Or, pretend to be racist, or wear your SCA garb to jury selection day. Or something.

Personally, I like the SCA garb thing best. Make sure to bring the bow. You might even be able to borrow a Robin Hood hat from Tim....

[jamesq]

I'm pretty sure that being stuck in a cell on contempt charges won't get me into Cuba in a timely fashion.

[jamesq]

Well there's a difference between my opinion and trying to trick them into letting me out of jury duty.

I know ideas like "Hey, I'll just lie and say I'm crazy/racist/whatever" sound cool here in the informal world of LJ, but the bottom line is, the people in jury selection have seen shit like this a thousand times before. They don't have a sense of humour about it. Pissing off a judge is likley to get my peepee slapped hard.

And honestly? I'd love to serve on jury duty, just not that week.

I'll point out the facts (financial hardship, wedding, I'm one of the two required witnesses, etc.) and hope they see things my way.

Finally, the actual court case might be after the vacation is over, or I might not get picked at all.

But if everything goes south, I'll suck it up and do my duty.

[ladyerwyn.livejournal.com]

They should be able to postpone your jury duty, or just screw it and go to Cuba and pay your fine later and a day or too in jail.