Run For Your Lives!

[jamesq]

As I mentioned before, my lack of car has been unfortunately (but correctly) linked to my anxiety problems. My therapist has therefore made driving my homework before my next session. wendy_licious, who is a saint for putting up with way more of my bullshit than duty dictates, has loaned me her car for the weekend (she's seeing her boy wackynephews in Regina this weekend).

Here's what you need to know about my driving history:

Age 16: Sister tries to teach me how to drive Dad's truck. I tool around Glenmore park for a few hours collecting an interesting array of impressions on the front grill. One lesson because, hey, it's my sister.

Age 27: I take an AMA driver's ed. course. Take my driver's exam and fail. Promise myself to practice more and take the exam again. This doesn't happen.

Age 33: I take the AMA course again. Take the driver's exam and pass. Promise to practice more just because. This doesn't happen.

Age 37: wendy_licious loses the last shred of her sanity and loans me her car. It is the first time I've been behind the wheel of a car since my exam and the first time I've been behind the wheel of a car alone ever.

Naturally I find out that one of my coworkers (who races cars at Race City for fun) was in an accident and is currently wearing a neckbrace, and Dose (the local free daily newspaper) had, as it's question of the day, "Have you ever been in, or seen, a car accident". D'oh!

So there I am in Airdrie. I've got the keys, and I've reread the rules of the road. I start the car successfully and back out her driveway. W sits in her house alone and prays to all she holds holy.

Now the problem with W's house in Airdrie is that it's really close to the highway, so in less than five minutes I'm barreling down highway 2 at 110 KPM.

I have a question for all you drivers out there:

WHERE THE FUCK DID ALL THESE CARS COME FROM?

(They're never there when I'm a passenger)

I manage to get to my WW meeting without getting honked and/or sweared at, which I consider a plus. I lost 1.4 pound this week, possibly all in the 30 minutes it took me to get to the meeting. Afterwards I walked to Jimmy's A&A and bought a chicken shwarma and some bakalava (my treat for any week I lose weight). Then I had a slightly less terrifying ride home (Northland drive is nowhere near as bad as Deerfoot trail and Country Hills Blvd).

My back, shoulders and neck are stupidly tense. I could use a blow job right now.

Comments

[ladyerwyn.livejournal.com]

WHERE THE FUCK DID ALL THESE CARS COME FROM?


I ask the same question.

Driving takes time, patience and practice. I also didn't want to drive after getting my license when I was 16, but I made myself get it, because it was escape and freedom from my alcoholic mother. After getting it I was scared and nervous and didn't want to, but everybody kept saying, 'you've got a license, you drive'. So my family forced me to drive until I got used to it.

You really do get used to it, but you have to force yourself to keep doing it.

First thing, don't worry about what all the other drivers are doing. Chances are even if they are an ass they are handling their vehicle ok. What you need to do is pay attention to what you are doing. Okay, I lied, you do have to pay attention to where the other cars are, so you don't crash into them, but if you drive defensively instead of offensively you should be okay.

That is watching those around you and slowing when you see a car pulling out in front of you instead of just blatently pulling out in front of somewhere because you think you're the immortal mack daddy. Um no!

I can honestly say car accidents are not fun and we only got hit at about 35mph from behind. It scares the shit out of you, so pay attention.

If you are nervous drive a little slower, not too slow, but slower. Check your mirrors often. I know this is weird when you first start, because it's harder, but the more you do it the easier it is to do and also check everything else. After a while driving becomes second nature.

Good luck!

[jamesq]

if you drive defensively instead of offensively you should be okay

Well they say the best defence is a good offense, and the best offense is a sneak attack...

Good luck!

Thanks!

[catalytic.livejournal.com]

I'm loathe to share my two major accident stories lest they spur on your fear of traffic, but I will say that the two accidents I have been in, plus all the annecdotes I get from Ronya when she's home from thwarting Darwin's plan, convince me that seatbelts are a must and a godsend. With a seatbelt on you're wearing a huge sphere of metal padding that always intercedes on your behalf. Without it your just a soft, pink peppercorn in a grinder.

Cars & Driving

[http://users.livejournal.com/-grog-/]

Henry Ford was an alien. He was part of a conspiracy to take over the world, and cars are part of their plan.

Cars are not, as everyone believes, about transportation. They are in fact a mind removal device. Perfectly intelligent people become utterly gormless morons when handed the keys to a car. They descend into a trance-like stupor when behind the wheel of said car - apparently only barely aware of their surroundings. Of course, they return to an ever so slightly diminished normal after exiting the vehicle.

Since no known human technology can successfully remove someone's mind, and then replace it later - with or without surgical intervention, I must conclude that cars are part of some alien conspiracy.

Lost how much?

[nosarious.livejournal.com]

Think of how nice you've been to all those people on the sidewalk you were driving on.

I'll bet they lost a pound and a half as well. And you kept the local economy going by the amount of drycleaning that has to be done as well.

You're a saint.

(And here I am having parked my car last year due to rising insurance, gas and the fact I can get almost everywherre by walking. Except out to Camrose to see Mom... Even that isn't worth the $150 a month to keep the car on the road.)

Re: Lost how much?

[jamesq]

"Think of how nice you've been to all those people on the sidewalk you were driving on"

I was surprised by how friendly everyone was - they were all waving at me. Apparently, I'm "number one"!

All I ask...

[thebrucie.livejournal.com]

...is that you at least drive the speed limit. And I'm not even talking about the standard Calgary posted+20% limit either. Just the posted limit. Because the guy doing 140 and cutting between everyone in sight doesn't raise as much ire as the guy (or girl)driving 92 in a 100 zone. Bad mojo.