jamesq: (Ale and Whores)
[personal profile] jamesq
♪ Out on the road for 'leven days
Last night in Leavenworth, put me in a haze ♫

First, the GBU.

Good:

  • Oktoberfest.
  • Portland vintage shops.
  • Me time with the Martian.
  • Some epically nice B&Bs.
  • Assorted McMenamins venues.
  • Awesome traveling companions.
Bad:

  • Crappy motel beds.
  • I utterly failed to stay within my calories.
  • One very slight depressive incident, largely self-contained.
Ugly:

  • Surprisingly, for a trip this long trapped with the same people, nothing. My demons (with that one small exceptions) stayed buried.
All right, on to the details:

Cranbrook, BC.

After the usual, last minute, farting around, we drove to Cranbrook and stayed at the Lazy Bear Inn. This seems oddly appropriate, since, as we were approaching Cranbrook, the car I was in almost collided with a black bear. Or rather, the black bear almost collided with us. According to the rear vehicle, the bear was aiming to cross the gap between the two cars. Since [livejournal.com profile] thebrucie hit the breaks and veered to avoid the bear when we spotted it, it threw the bear off, and it almost ran face-first into our rear bumper. Still, no collision took place. This also marks the first time I've ever seen a black bear in the wild.

We arrived after the motel front desk closed, but they showed some small-town trust in leaving our keys under the welcome mats for each room. In the morning I went for a long walk around the town, spotting deer, a friendly cat, and a gazebo.

With the meowing and the purring and the head bumps, I almost forgot this was a ferocious predator

Spokane

Being a native Calgarian, whose parents watched a lot of American PBS, it was nice to attach a lot of the images I saw on KSPS. We wandered around a local mall, then checked out the gem of Spokane, Riverfront Park. If you need to spend any amount of time in Spokane, go there.

Some bizarre structure, looming over the town, UFO-like.

Quincy

We stopped here to grab some supper and to let one of the cars pick up our sixth adventurer, who was flying in from San Diego. There we discovered the wonder that was Tiki's Bar and Grill. From the Cold War bunker architecture of the cinder-block building, to the two-man toilets, and the Tiki decor that may have cost a whole hundred dollars from local thrift stores, it was a wonder to behold. The food (as was the case for 90% of Quincy) was Mexican. Here they redeemed themselves with decent food, large portions, and reasonable prices. Still, that toilet - *shudder*. Note that TripAdvisor has a 3 star rating on it, due to two reviews - one being one star, and the other being the owner's mom.

I think my "favourite" three memories from this place were:

  • The look on [livejournal.com profile] naughtynat07's face when we pulled into the parking lot that said "So this is how I'm going to die".
  • Discovering that there was a third bathroom, outside the tavern, that was clean, private, and actually had a decent amount of tiki decorations in it. It's like they focused on this one room.
  • This alarming menu entry. Note, we did not tell them we were Canadians.
Did someone order the eight inch sausage?

Leavenworth

We got into Leavenworth fairly late, only to discover that we couldn't get the keys to our B&B. They were in a Realtor's lock box, but the code we were given was incorrect. After some frantic phone calls, we finally got the correct value and entered a two story vacation home that was absolutely gorgeous. It was along the river and lead to wonderful mornings where we would sit outside on the deck enjoying a beverage and a killer view.

A rare selfie of James

Seriously, this view was just astonishing

We checked out the town that afternoon. Picturesque is the best word. It's a deliberate attempt to evoke Bavaria in the Cascades - Lots of restaurants serving beer and bratwurst. Everyone was super friendly.

In the evening we went to the first night of Oktoberfest. It was nice and drinky. Still, it seemed... sparsely populated. Turns out everyone comes to the Saturday night version instead.
Left to right: Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie, Anna Kendrick, Sir Patrick Stewart, and some guy.

Saturday was more exploring around Leavenworth, followed by a much busier Oktoberfest. Street performers, bands, beer, and we got to hear the Chicken Dance so many times we lost count. That last one's not so bad because we learned a new dance to go with it that is funny, risqué, and saved our sanity. I'll show it to you some time.

Its hard in Leavenworth for a pimp

Here's the the important take away - in an age before television, internet, and recorded music, most cultures figured out how to party. All you need is booze, friends, songs you can sing along to, and some dancing. It's a time-tested recipe. You wouldn't just put oom-pah-pah versions of pop music on your iPod, but you'll happily sing along to them at Oktoberfest, once you've got a few beers in you.

Sunday was a day for relaxing. Supper was at O'Grady's restaurant (check it out - it was one of the best meals I had during the whole vacation). Later we all retired to the cottage to watch The Blues Brothers, as we'd discovered that [livejournal.com profile] naughtynat07 hadn't seen it. I think she liked it, but then, how can you not like the Blues Brothers?

Portland

Did we mention that it's legal to buy and sell weed in Oregon as of October 2015?

We arrived in Portland and checked into out B&B, which was nice for a remodelled basement. It was a bit of a let down compared to massive riverfront cottage we'd just spent four nights in. Still, for hipster-central in Portland, it was quite reasonable. As our sixth had to get to the airport soonish, we opted for a late lunch at Pok Pok, one of the many Thai restaurants that Portland has. In fact, we discovered that both Portland and Bend had a lot of Thai restaurants - significantly more than Calgary. Not sure why - it could be they're really popular, or it could be that significant numbers of Thai folk immigrated to the area. Anyway, it meant lots of good food.

After dinner we split up. Those interested in the giant bookstore went to Powell's, and the others took a side trip to the airport. We all bought books. I also picked up some games, namely Cthulhu Gloom and Crabs Adjust Humidity. While retrieving those from a locked display case, the nice lady who helped us asked, "Did you want a free set of Cards Against Humanity cards designed specifically for Powell's?" Yes, please!

I ran the first morning there, opting to run a pattern through the spiderweb that is Ladd's Addition (the district we were staying in).

X marks the spot.

While that was fun in an OCD nerd sort of way, it ended up being a mistake. I ran a little under 5K. But then we went wandering around Hawthorne for a few hours and I added another 6K to it.

Which is not to say that I didn't find the whole exercise worthwhile - I enjoyed the run, and I enjoyed the shopping (the vast majority of my swag came from there). It would have been better if we'd spent another day in Portland so I could have broken them up a little and not ended up crippling myself.

As I mentioned, I did a lot of shopping. Partly this was boutique shops - I got some nice boots from a shoe store, and some neat gadgets from a cooking store. Aside, the cooking store was very hippy-ish and had a scented soap/incense section at the front that was so overwhelming, several of our party couldn't come in.

Most of the shopping was in vintage stores. Calgary doesn't have a lot of these, and the ones we do either have crap, or they're ridiculously expensive. Sometimes they're both. Portland, OTOH, has so much vintage business, that they've driven the prices down a lot, while simultaneously making them improve their game. Some of the furniture was so good that we seriously discussed simply renting a panel van and coming down here in a few years for the sole purpose of filling it. Even considering the duty we'd have to pay, it would still likely be cheaper.

Anyway, sometimes you find the good stuff, sometimes you find hidden treasures...

Its a lamp! and a toaster!

...and sometimes you find nameless horrors.

M-I-C, K-E-Y, G-O-A-T-S-E!

We had lunch and dinner at McMenamin's venues. Lunch was at the Bagdad Theatre, and supper was at the Kennedy School.

I think I've fallen in love with the whole McMenamins brand. I like a lot of their beer, I like the whole idea of turning old heritage buildings into hotels/theatres/pubs/restaurants, to the point where I'm adopting it as one of my lottery fantasies (The Hillhurst Public School on 7th Avenue NW here in Calgary seems like a good candidate).

Afterward, we went to Hale Pele to enjoy some Tiki. And it was a very very good Tiki bar. Great drinks, awesome atmosphere, and it was clear that they knew their tiki, and also knew their rums. I loved it, though probably not as much as [livejournal.com profile] thebrucieloved it. Hale Pele is one of those places that makes "best of" lists, though as we'll see below, that's not always a good indicator.

Help, help, my drink is on fire!

Nursing hangovers and sore muscles, we were just a wee bit late getting out of our B&B. All was good though.

Multnomah Falls

The falls are impressive, aren't they?

Impressive, and also apt to drop a rock the size of a city bus any time.

This was the closest I came to having a depressive incident. It was a near thing.

Our exertions the day before pretty much crippled me - I had the old-man's-walk. Naturally on the drive from Portland to Bend, we decided to check out Multnomah Falls which included a small amount of hiking. So I was battling an injury and also the part of my self-worth that said I was they guy who could exert himself when others couldn't. I was falling behind on the paths and feeling every one of those sixty pounds I'm overweight. At the Multnomah creek bridge, everyone was taking pictures of everyone else, and then the thing I'd been avoiding all vacation occurred.

On the outside, looking in

"Did you want us to take a picture of you?"
And that question threw my brain into a spasm. Did I want to have a picture taken of me? Of course not! I hate having my picture taken. But of course, I can't say that - it breaks the social contract and makes me a bad sport. You can ask the child how much of the birthday cake he wants, and he may want all of it, but he learns damn quickly that that's not the correct answer. I'm supposed to want to have my picture taken.

Aside: there is no photographic proof that I was in Scotland this year. And plenty of my tour mates offered to take pictures of me.

Back to the story. So I wanted to simply say "no" to the photo, but another part of me knew I was supposed to say "yes". so I stood there with my mouth open, trying to do the right thing without knowing what it was, having a minor anxiety attack. Then the worse thing possible happened.

"Why don't you want your picture taken?"
And of course, without thinking, I blurted out, "Because I'm spectacularly ugly". Yes, I know, I'm not supposed to say stuff like that; and I'm especially not supposed to say precisely that. It was a moment of weakness.

To their credit, the others did not try to argue me out of this. It did mean that everyone dropped into an awkward silence though. This was broken when someone (I can't recall whom) saved the day.

"How about a picture of everybody?"
"Sure! Let's do that!"
The picture got taken by a stranger, with me in it, but largely shielded by the others. Another benefit of being tall - no one expects you to be at the front of photos, or the back seat of cars.

Getting away from the others after this (because they were all walking faster) did allow me to think on what had just happened. My mental shields were very very low. I resolved to burn some mental midnight oil to keep them up for the rest of the drive, and to take the earliest opportunity for a day of introverting to build up some energy.

Lordy, I wish I knew these tricks when I was a kid.

Bend

We resumed our B&B luck with the place in Bend, which was about as nice as the place in Portland. I also resolved, based on two night there, that I need a memory foam topper for my mattress. It's time for me to stop living in the dark ages!

We went down to the Summit Saloon and entered Geeks Who Drink trivia. Naturally our team (CanadiAns & CanadiEns) won. Because we're just that awesome.

Our impressive victory is described here.

The next day ended up being do-your-own-thing, which was fine with me since I'd already decided to get the hell away from everyone else. After a brief breakfast with [livejournal.com profile] naughtynat07, I went off to watch a movie and explore Bend, she joined her husband for a day of lazing around the B&B, and LA/[livejournal.com profile] thebrucie went out to climb a mountain (Crater Lake? Something else? I'll have to quiz them at some point). I had recovered enough to walk on even pavement with plenty of rests, but I wasn't up to hiking.

I ended up seeing The Martian. It was a feel-good movie that poked me in my nerd-place. As a local Bend reviewer described it, it's the kind of movie that reminds us why we go out to the movies in the first place. I'll happily go see it again.

Afterwards, I walked from The Old Mill district (really, a big open-air mall set around the eponymous old mill) to downtown Bend. I explored there for awhile (it's only about ten small blocks), then discovered the Old St. Francis school, another McMenamins property. Different beer this time (I guess some of the venues have their own breweries, rather than one central one), and I had a delicious salad, with a milkshake chaser. I relaxed on the patio for awhile (it was about 30 degrees out) and generally had a nice, introspective, afternoon.

After exploring, I walked back to the B&B. The house being at the top of a steep hill, about half my exercise of the day came in the last two blocks of walking. Woof. I briefly chatted with [livejournal.com profile] thekillerb69 and [livejournal.com profile] naughtynat07, then availed myself of the hot tub. While there, the others went out for a romantic supper, leaving me with the house to myself. I generally introverted and relaxed until everyone came back. All in all, probably the single most relaxing day of the trip, and exactly what the anti-demon doctor ordered.

Arco

Leaving Bend, we had one of our two long traveling days, heading to Arco. We seem to have been picked Arco as a destination mostly because it was roughly midway between Bend and Great Falls, and had cool stuff nearby to see.

We stayed in a crappy motel who's defining feature is that I thought it was the location of The Lost Room.

You can sense the impending doom - oh wait, false alarm, thats just naughtynat07

There was also a football game going on in town, in a football field that looks bigger and better than any I've seen at any of the Calgary high schools. Americans love their football. Note that the Arco high school has less than 200 students. Our inner-twelve-year-olds appreciated the fact that the team was called the Butte Pirates (Arco is the seat of Idaho's Butte county). To be fair, when I looked up the school online (there was a request for a Butte Pirates tee-shirt), I found out the high school punches way above its weight and excels in academics and athletics way better than you'd expect for its size.

Admit it, you giggled too

Despite my earlier problems with photos, I volunteered to have my picture taken in a giant rocking chair outside the diner we ate at (Pickle's Place). It was dark, and it was a giant chair - two things that contribute to me not thinking I look like Shrek. It's neither the first, not last, picture of me in a giant chair.

Craters of the Moon

The next morning we took a trip to the nearby Craters of the Moon national monument. It was eerie and beautiful. Like the badlands, but different.

Bruce, and a giant rock

At one point, we're at the Inferno Cone, a giant cinder cone, which I decided to climb. My exercise for the day, and it was exhausting, because I didn't take any rests climbing it - I didn't want everyone else waiting for me too long. It's deceptive - it looks smaller than it really is, and the cone is steeper too. I did get up to the top in one solid ten minute hike. I turned around and came back down. Oh the excitement. Still, I'm glad I did it, and the view was worth it. Ratched my throat for the rest of the day though.

If you look closely, you can see two people at the top of the cone. I'm neither of them.

A Bigger, Blacker, Cone

Atomic City

[livejournal.com profile] thekillerb69 wanted to see Atomic City, noteworthy for being the site of an early experimental reactor that at one time powered Arco (leading the town to claim the title of the first community to be powered by atomic energy). Sadly, it's largely a ghost town now (Wikipedia says it has a population of 29, mostly retired) and there was nothing there to commemorate its history.

♪ Take me down to Atomic City, where the ground glows blue and the roads are shitty ♫

Great Falls

We went to Great Falls mostly to check out the Sip 'n Dip, another "top ten" tiki bar in America. I'm not sure why it gets that designation. Maybe it's the mermaid, maybe it's because Daryl Hannah visited. It's got the tiki decor down, but the drink menu was limited, there was no Polynesian food offered (they shared a food menu, and kitchen, with the hotel's diner), and the music was standard classic rock like you'd hear in any of ten thousand other bars. Our theory? At one time, the Sip 'n Dip was created and managed by someone who really cared about making an awesome tiki bar. They did so well that it became a destination of sorts. That guy retired, and the people who took over had an award-winning venue and no clue how to maintain it. But it was bringing people in, so they couldn't exactly do away with it.

The place was so crowded when we got there, that I was genuinely worried that the evening was going to suck. We got some good luck getting a corner booth though, and from then on the night was just fine. I may have drank too much though.

A frat bar, cleverly disguised.

A cute, red-haired mermaid with goggles that reminded me of a librarians glasses.  Oh yeah.

The journey home

I woke up at 8:30, closed my eyes for a moment, opened them again and it was 10:30. Whoops, 30 minutes to shower, pack, and check out. I managed with two minutes to spare.

The drive back to Canada was a wee bit windy.

Fail

Got in around 6PM and spent a few hours paying bills, doing laundry and putting away my swag. BTW, here's all my swag, mostly stuff I purchased in Portland.

Come for the lederhosen, stay for the great reading material and rum

Final thoughts

For a road trip with friends, this was just the right length. Nobody hated each other by the end, but we were done, exhausted, and sated. I'd do something similar again, but not just yet.

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jamesq

December 2024

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