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jamesqThis was on the order of ten years ago.
I'm being harangued by a friend. She's angry to the point of foaming-at-the-mouth irrationality because I just told her that the unacceptable thing she's done is unacceptable. I've said it as diplomatically as I can, but it pushes some internal button and she flies off the handle. Her comments make it clear that she will do literally anything, up-to-and-including overwhelming violence if she perceives a threat to her children. Even if no such threat exists. She makes sure that I understand that disagreeing with her on this topic is equivalent to threatening her children and the personal implications of that. Even though I have never been any sort of threat to her (or anyone else's) children. I do understand, but not the way she intends.
I'm angry as this happens. Afterwards I'm absolutely furious in a way that I rarely get. But in-between? At this exact moment I experience a tiny moment of calm and in my mind, a switch is irrevocably flipped. Our friendship of ten+ years is over. Nothing can retrieve it. Oh, perhaps we can be civil to each other if she makes an effort to sincerely apologize (and no such apology ever comes - quite the opposite in fact), but certainly nothing like friendship - an uncross-able line has been crossed.
And I turn around and I leave without another word. Anything I could say or do at this point would be a wasted effort and I understand that.
I'm being harangued by a friend. She's angry to the point of foaming-at-the-mouth irrationality because I just told her that the unacceptable thing she's done is unacceptable. I've said it as diplomatically as I can, but it pushes some internal button and she flies off the handle. Her comments make it clear that she will do literally anything, up-to-and-including overwhelming violence if she perceives a threat to her children. Even if no such threat exists. She makes sure that I understand that disagreeing with her on this topic is equivalent to threatening her children and the personal implications of that. Even though I have never been any sort of threat to her (or anyone else's) children. I do understand, but not the way she intends.
I'm angry as this happens. Afterwards I'm absolutely furious in a way that I rarely get. But in-between? At this exact moment I experience a tiny moment of calm and in my mind, a switch is irrevocably flipped. Our friendship of ten+ years is over. Nothing can retrieve it. Oh, perhaps we can be civil to each other if she makes an effort to sincerely apologize (and no such apology ever comes - quite the opposite in fact), but certainly nothing like friendship - an uncross-able line has been crossed.
And I turn around and I leave without another word. Anything I could say or do at this point would be a wasted effort and I understand that.
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-25 12:35 am (UTC)Probably not as well as you, but I sure remember that. Even as a bystander, it was memorable. Oy vay.