jamesq | Riley Park Hell Funnies (part 1)

One of the first jobs I had was at a self-serve gas station by Riley Park. It was a pretty easy job - I basically sat on my ass and took people's money. In addition to selling petrol, we also had one of the few independent repair garages left

My first week there, a guy comes in with his shit box car that he wants serviced. "Sure thing", I say, "just fill out this form and give me your keys". He does so and says that he'll be back for the car in a week.

Next week he didn't come back. Ray (my boss, the franchise owner) tried to contact him, but had no luck as his phone number just rang and rang. A month later we still hadn't heard anything. Three months later, the guy's phone was disconnect.

Well it got shuffled around the parking lot a few times, and finally settled on the south end, where it languished for four years.

As luck would have it, the last month I worked there, the guy came back.

"Hey, can I get my car keys".

Not remembering this guy whom I had seen exactly once, four years earlier, I asked him which car was his.

"It's the car that's been parked here for four years.""Oh", I say, "you're that guy."

I go to grab his stuff and say "So what happened to you anyway?"

"After I dropped the car off, I went to Montreal for the week, I was planning on coming back and picking it up. I got drunk in a bar and broke a baseball bat over the head of a Montreal cop. I just got let out of prison"

He did have the face of a guy who looked like he spent time in prison for hitting a cop. i.e. not pretty.

"All righty then", I say, for lack of any possible response, "Your car's repairs cost $X. Oh and the mechanic says you need major work done - and that was before it sat outside for four years. I suspect it needs even more now."

"I'll give you fifty bucks for it and I'll get it off your lot."

In my mind I thought, we're not going to get a better offer, take the money and run, but it wasn't my decision to make. I passed it off to Ray, who argued with the guy. Now Ray could have gotten rid of the car at any time after the first six months (All it takes is an ass-load of paperwork to seize the car), but here's the thing - the car was a shitbox, the parts and labor were worth more than the car could sell for. Ray had gotten it into his head that nothing less than paying the bill as it stood was sufficient.

The guy ended up walking out. A few weeks later it was gone, he must have come up with the money because Ray sure as hell wasn't going to get rid of it.