Old Friends
Apr. 22nd, 2008 10:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jamesqI wasn't completely friendless growing up, I did have a (very) few here and there.
When I was in elementary school my first friend (and the only one who ever stuck by me) wasn't actually in school with me. We'll call her PM. PM went to a different school, but was in the same cohort as I was (which is to say we were in the same grade all through school). I got to know her mostly because we were neighbors (she lived three houses west of Casa Cyr).
The friends I made in my own school were ephemeral - hanging around with me when it suited them, ditching me when being my friend hurt them socially.
PM was different though, and not just because she hung around with a boy even though she was a girl (ages were single digits here, so we were both aware of the danger of cooties). I suspect that my early friendship with PM contributed to my being as comfortable in friendship with women as I am with men.
I don't have many solid memories of her (Can't even remember what she looks like truth be told) as most of my early childhood is missing. When I try to grasp those memories I invariably grab hold onto some poisonous emotional trauma instead. Nothing to do with her mind you, just the general social isolation I had to deal with.
I do remember the last time I spoke to her. It was Dec 26, 1981. We were both in (different) Junior Highs and she wanted an escort to her boyfriends house to feed the fish. I remember this because I was also sick with pneumonia and ended up throwing up due to illness on the way back home. Last time I was physically ill.
I did see her a few times after that in passing. Usually she was chatting with her boy in the back alley behind her house as I walked by.
My folks and her folks chatted occasionally, so I learned (as an adult) that she had married her high-school sweetheart. As far as I know she's still married to him. I hope she got everything right the first time.
Junior high brought the first good male friend of mine, WT. WT and I were an odd match. He was the prototypical "druggie" and I was pretty solidly "nerd". Not two archetypes that generally get along.
We "bonded" when we were forced, by being the last two men standing when one of our teachers teamed people up for a class assignment. We had to collect sound effects for some reason, and we cobbled together an old tape recorder and went around the neighborhood collecting weird-ass sounds.
Later we had to put on a skit for drama class (yes, I took a year of drama, surprise surprise) that consisted of us aping Jimmy Hendrix (Fire as I recall). As an aside, we actually had a pretty good drama teacher. She had just discovered Theatresports (this would be around 1980 remember, so they were still very new, and mostly local to Calgary then) so we mostly did improvisional stuff. I wasn't very good at it, but I still enjoyed myself.
When I say WT was a druggie, it's because he looked like one. I never saw him take drugs when he was with me, but I did occasionally see evidence that he was high/drunk. Not often, but it happened. If I had his dysfunctional family, I'd probably look for chemical escape too.
WT was into music and I remember that he hung around at Ten Foot Henry's (an early punk club in Calgary, eventually demolished - unnecessarily - by the NW LRT contruction). He even got me to go to a few shows. Thus I went to a punk concert when I was still underage!
He also got me into funk music and alternative back when that was still a going concern (Grandmaster Flash, Man Parrish, Afrika Bambaataa, Awesome Foresome). I still have a few of those songs amongst my collection. Always on the lookout to fill some holes though - anyone out there have a copy of Renegades of Funk? WT's goal at this time? To become a DJ in the style that we would now call old style hip hop.
WT and I were starting to drift apart when I had graduated from high school. He is responsible for "handing me off" to Grey Mountain Holt. He walked me to my first holt meeting and moved to Toronto soon after. I saw him once after that when he was back in Calgary briefly. Years after that he called me up when I was living with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thebrucie. I regret not talking to him longer at that time, but I literally had someone waiting for me outside in a running vehicle. I suspect he thought I was brushing him off.
Both PM and WT kept me alive during my dark and lonely childhood. After them the number of friends I had would only grow. Before that, I only had them, and never at the same time.
When you've only got the one friend (at a time), you learn to value friendship as the rare and precious treasure it is.
When I was in elementary school my first friend (and the only one who ever stuck by me) wasn't actually in school with me. We'll call her PM. PM went to a different school, but was in the same cohort as I was (which is to say we were in the same grade all through school). I got to know her mostly because we were neighbors (she lived three houses west of Casa Cyr).
The friends I made in my own school were ephemeral - hanging around with me when it suited them, ditching me when being my friend hurt them socially.
PM was different though, and not just because she hung around with a boy even though she was a girl (ages were single digits here, so we were both aware of the danger of cooties). I suspect that my early friendship with PM contributed to my being as comfortable in friendship with women as I am with men.
I don't have many solid memories of her (Can't even remember what she looks like truth be told) as most of my early childhood is missing. When I try to grasp those memories I invariably grab hold onto some poisonous emotional trauma instead. Nothing to do with her mind you, just the general social isolation I had to deal with.
I do remember the last time I spoke to her. It was Dec 26, 1981. We were both in (different) Junior Highs and she wanted an escort to her boyfriends house to feed the fish. I remember this because I was also sick with pneumonia and ended up throwing up due to illness on the way back home. Last time I was physically ill.
I did see her a few times after that in passing. Usually she was chatting with her boy in the back alley behind her house as I walked by.
My folks and her folks chatted occasionally, so I learned (as an adult) that she had married her high-school sweetheart. As far as I know she's still married to him. I hope she got everything right the first time.
Junior high brought the first good male friend of mine, WT. WT and I were an odd match. He was the prototypical "druggie" and I was pretty solidly "nerd". Not two archetypes that generally get along.
We "bonded" when we were forced, by being the last two men standing when one of our teachers teamed people up for a class assignment. We had to collect sound effects for some reason, and we cobbled together an old tape recorder and went around the neighborhood collecting weird-ass sounds.
Later we had to put on a skit for drama class (yes, I took a year of drama, surprise surprise) that consisted of us aping Jimmy Hendrix (Fire as I recall). As an aside, we actually had a pretty good drama teacher. She had just discovered Theatresports (this would be around 1980 remember, so they were still very new, and mostly local to Calgary then) so we mostly did improvisional stuff. I wasn't very good at it, but I still enjoyed myself.
When I say WT was a druggie, it's because he looked like one. I never saw him take drugs when he was with me, but I did occasionally see evidence that he was high/drunk. Not often, but it happened. If I had his dysfunctional family, I'd probably look for chemical escape too.
WT was into music and I remember that he hung around at Ten Foot Henry's (an early punk club in Calgary, eventually demolished - unnecessarily - by the NW LRT contruction). He even got me to go to a few shows. Thus I went to a punk concert when I was still underage!
He also got me into funk music and alternative back when that was still a going concern (Grandmaster Flash, Man Parrish, Afrika Bambaataa, Awesome Foresome). I still have a few of those songs amongst my collection. Always on the lookout to fill some holes though - anyone out there have a copy of Renegades of Funk? WT's goal at this time? To become a DJ in the style that we would now call old style hip hop.
WT and I were starting to drift apart when I had graduated from high school. He is responsible for "handing me off" to Grey Mountain Holt. He walked me to my first holt meeting and moved to Toronto soon after. I saw him once after that when he was back in Calgary briefly. Years after that he called me up when I was living with
thebrucie. I regret not talking to him longer at that time, but I literally had someone waiting for me outside in a running vehicle. I suspect he thought I was brushing him off.Both PM and WT kept me alive during my dark and lonely childhood. After them the number of friends I had would only grow. Before that, I only had them, and never at the same time.
When you've only got the one friend (at a time), you learn to value friendship as the rare and precious treasure it is.
