"Living" in Tartarus

[jamesq]

Gained another fucking pound this week. My Sisyphus-like existence continues. What the fuck is wrong with me - I should have been finished years ago.

There's a whole fucking plate of really good fudge sitting upstairs too and all I want to do is plow into it. Give myself something really tasty to launch me into a truly epic fit of guilt and self-loathing

Comments

[rato-do-perigo.livejournal.com]

hey just sit back and refocus.

you'll get passed this.

let go of the guilt and self loathing.

be still inside and let it go.

[petranef.livejournal.com]

What if your weight was perfect? Would your entire life be perfect then?

(There is no sarcasm here. Your pain speaks to me in ways you cannot know).

[jamesq]

My life wouldn't be perfect. I would, however, have one less demon in it.

The frustration is because, if I can't do this one thing, well what can I do?

[petranef.livejournal.com]

I suspect that you can do a number of other things, all of them very well. Writing would be at least one of them. Archery. Etc. All sorts of things I don't even know about.....

Weight, appearance, meh. What does one do if the appearance issues cannot be fixed as easily as weight? And I do know the irony of the word "easily" here. If only.....

Focus

[nikitaa.livejournal.com]

Let's put this into focus, shall we?

You've lost an incredible amount of weight (80 pounds is nothing to sneeze at!), you've adopted a much healthier lifestyle both in your nutritional choices and in adopting a regular fitness program. You look fantastic.

Ok, you've put on one or two pounds, but you have proven to yourself, as well as everyone around you that you have the ability to change your lifestyle and the self-discipline to police your choices to lose weight. Ok, this week and last week have been a pound up, but how many weeks have you been a pound down?

Sometimes we all take a step back, and as long as we look at it with a postive outlook we can move forward without wallowing in guilt. You are allowed to have a week up once in a while.

Right now it sounds like a time of change for you - friends are moving back to Vancouver, and you are arranging for a new roommate. Christmas is coming (don't mind me if I don't bother to stand up and jump up and down...). Don't kid yourself - it's stressful. And your time is likely a bit more cramped than usual - perhaps this cuts into some of the time you would otherwise spend working out, or whatever.

I have every confidence that you will reach your goal.

Next week, you will be back moving in the direction you want to go. The journey may be slower than you might like, but remember it's the steady pace that wins the race.

Re: Focus

[jamesq]

80 pounds is wildly inaccurate. The most I've lost is 66 pounds. That was several years ago. I'm currently at 43 pounds down. I've gone up 10 pounds in the last three weeks.

Sisyphus wasn't an idle comparison. After losing that weight initially I've gone on to gain and lose the same 10 pounds over and over and over again. For two years.

Re: Focus

[http://users.livejournal.com/_thwap_/]

After losing that weight initially I've gone on to gain and lose the same 10 pounds over and over and over again. For two years.

And I did the same thing with 25lbs over 4 years as I was graduating... It wasn't until about 4 years ago that I finally started losing weight slowly but steadily... Hang in there.. It won't happen as fast as you like, but with a little perseverance, you'll achieve your goal.. 43lbs is NOTHING to sneeze at..

Chin up.. You might feel bad about this, but even that will pass in time..

Re: Focus

[nikitaa.livejournal.com]

I've never been good at guessing weights, so you are welcome to argue with me about that. But are you really going to debate with me that you look good?

66 pounds is not insignificant. Nor is 43.

Sure, maybe you haven't reached your goal yet, but you are significantly closer to it than you were 20 years ago - I'm sure when you were in university you didn't think that you would EVER be where you are at today. Right?

Let's put this into a different perspective, shall we?

You've lost a full one of these:

[ladyerwyn.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel. I've slipped since I started working full time. It is a very hard thing to do when the world seems to telling you to eat and drink gigantic portions and fatty things and people tell you "This one thing won't hurt you." but everyday it's somebody telling you the same thing, but also at the same time the world is telling us that we are not attractive or worthy unless we are stick thin. We can't do both. We can't eat the crap they are shoving at us and be thin. It's an unattainable image. But we can choose what's best for us and get in shape and even lose weight, but we will probably still not look like those models on tv.

The media can bite me!

[jamesq]

Preach it sister!

[nikitaa.livejournal.com]

The media puts unrealistic expectations on us all. To fit the mold we would all have to be anorexic.

We've been indoctrinated on the three-square-meals-a-day principle, and taught to clean our plates. Rather than eat when we're hungry, we eat when we're told society expects us to.

Do we really need an appetizer, dessert and the whole plate of food at the restaurant? Probably not, but that's where they make their money, and it's the economy that drives it all forwards.

Recently I've noticed that the media has really been promoting the whole idea of "pearly white and perfectly straight teeth". That's great, but natural teeth enamel is usually NOT that shade of white. (I know that mine aren't). So people are flocking in droves to purchase whitening kits from the drug store, to pay thousands for whitening treatment at the cosmetic dentists who have popped up all over the city - and are even going for veneers.

Who in their right mind is going to have the majority of the enamel of their teeth drilled off so that veneers can be pasted on? Do they realize that the average life of a veneer is 10-14 years, and then it needs to be replaced/redone? And very little of their original tooth enamal is left? I can't see how anyone can consider this a good or healthy thing if they stop for a moment to really think about what they are doing.

Some reports are suggesting that the chemicals that are used in tooth bleaching kits can be dangerous to our health if absorbed (and face it, anything even held orally in our mouths is likely to be ingested), and longer-term can actually damage teeth as the bleaching solution can decalcify them.

Yet our society has sold this idea to us - and we've become much more self-conscious of the colour, shape and straightness of our teeth in recent years. What's next? Are we going to tattoo on permanent tans so that our skin is a flawless shade of "acceptable"? A lot of chinese are purchasing lightening kits (that are TOXIC and BANNED) so that they can be "whiter" which is what their society is pimping as the ideal. http://edition.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/05/13/asia.whitening/

[bungle-lord.livejournal.com]

Has there been any society that did not promote an ideal form to aspire to?
In and of itself, having standards for individuals in a society to strive for is not bad. For examples: personal cleanliness, literacy, courtesy, healthy lifestyles, tolerance, etc. The problems, of course, occur with what is promoted as the ideal and who benefits.

[bungle-lord.livejournal.com]

>> Gained another fucking pound this week.

Did you answer one of those emails promising to make your 'member' bigger?