Of Appendages and Things

[jamesq]

I think it's high time that people made some completely outlandish stuff up about me. Post your wild and fantastic theories/memories/ideas here.

Hell turn it into a meme if you'd like. God knows I can makes some weird stuff up too.

Comments

[gifted-spirit.livejournal.com]

You? What possible outlandish stuff could one make up about such a well raised fundamentalist christian lad? Your Fanatically conservative mannerisms and points of view towards life and fellow man are the shining model of supremacy and superiority. I have never met a man so able to hold firm to his thoughts and discredit any possible other options before. That tallent permits you the glorious freedom of closemindedness and oblivion to the corrupt and immoral world around you. Keeping your mind and thoughts pure and focused on moral propriety, you are a shining beacon to the heathens and miscreants that would think to draw close to you.

If only we damned souls could be worthy of such a man and have the odacity to dare call him friend. It is a good thing you keep yourself aloof and distant from the luring, soul leaching temptations of this world.

I can't imagine what one could possibly make up about you...

*winks*

[jamesq]

It's scary just how close I came to becoming a Jesuit.

[garething.livejournal.com]

Alright, it is time you opened up about your alternate life. I am of course referring to your career in Adult Film, which began in 1992, when you auditioned for, and got the starring role in "Big Titted Lesbo-Commandos 4" under the 'stage name' of Pierce Stallion.

This was of course only the beginning. For years now you've been a staple of the hardcore adult film scene, or rather, Pierce has. Such classics as "The Naughty Nurses of Nymphia", "Blondes, Bikers, and BJ's", and the eternal favorite of the Furry scene "One Life to Yif" have etched your legendary stature onto the memories of many thousands of adult film fans.

Lately though you have been feeling somewhat disillusioned with the industry. You are thinking of leaving the porn film community and retiring to a contemplative life as a monk. It won't last. The fans will find you...

[jamesq]

I don't know what part of your evil mind vomitted up "One Life to Yif", but I think it should stick to wholesome entertainment. Like "Rise".

I won't say I won't miss the lifestyle (and the booty) because that would be a lie. But I must move onto the chapter of my life - Jesuit.

[ladyerwyn.livejournal.com]

Let's not forget that you are the brains behind a multi-billion dollar, Columbian, drug cartel. And for reasons unknown you are no longer allowed to enter the town of Hyder, Alaska.

[jamesq]

We filmed "One Life to Yif" in Hyder. Make of that what you will.

I need those multi-billion dollars though, to fund my new Jesuit school.

[jamesq]

I remember looking at my costar, Lance McManmuscle, on the set of One Life to Yif and saying "I wish I could quit you".

Then I strangled him.

[ersatz-marduk.livejournal.com]

I heard you once split three of your own arrows through the bullseye, and that you managed to get outrun the third arrow in time to grab a dove that had flown between you and the target. I heard that even as you pinned the fowl in one firm hand, the other reached behind you with an apple in time to have it skewered by the last shot.

Best of all, I heard that the three shafts split said apple so that it fell to the ground in the shape of a rose.

Well, that's how I heard it, anyway.

[jamesq]

This one is actually true. It happened at last year's Quad War.

Sorry...

[nosarious.livejournal.com]

I gave up on the rumors when I heard about the mythical toenail incident. That just couldn't be true. Then I heard you were a front for the Mac Mafia, and decided to hedge my bets by bribing you.

How is the blue betsy, anyways?

There's a New Serif in Town!

[jamesq]

Almost true. I'm not a front for the Mac Mafia, I'm a font. Specifically, I'm "Zapf Chancery".

The toenail incident occurred in Hyder, Alaska.

wish I had a better imagination...

[mallt.livejournal.com]

it's a very little know fact... the kilt's a time travel device.

(love the user pic!)

Re: wish I had a better imagination...

[jamesq]

It's why I'm aging backwards!

[(Anonymous)]

Your real identity is being the Chief in the top secret organization known informally as Control. They made a comedy show out of that concept in order to befuddle the public. Little does the public know that only the most serious events were portrayed on the show. The world is really a funny place, which is what makes it so scary.

Therefore I would like to publicly thank you for the work you do. But I cannot, since there was no work done. Therefore I must fall back on the generic "Thank you for being you!" and revel in the fact that the world is not as crazy as it would have been otherwise.

[bungle-lord.livejournal.com]

Obviously the previous poster is agent forty two and is trying to butter you up for some nefarious reason or other.