Sheepie

[jamesq]

1. How tall are you barefoot?

3'40"

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?

I've smoked after being with a heroine - does that count?

3. Do you own a gun?

I'm a son of one.

4. Rehab?

Nope. I habbed correctly the first time.

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?

Nah, but the future Mrs. Cyr will probably freak out when she meets mine.

6. What do you think of your friends?

"I look at this structure Henry and I ask Why?"

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?

Anything by Kevin Bloody Wilson.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

The blood of my enemies.

9. Do you do push-ups?

Depends on who's underneith me.

10. Have you ever done ecstacy?

"Done..." No. "Driven someone to..." Yes.

11. Are you vegetarian?

"I'm a bi-vegetarian."
"What? That doesn't exist! It's not possible!"
"I'm an emotional vegetarian. I know a lot of vegetarians and we tend to like the same films."

12. Do you like painkillers?

Does malt liquor count?

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

14. Do you own a knife?

Nope, which makes buttering my toast awfully difficult.

15. Do you have A.D.D.?

Advanced Dungeons and Dragons?!? Do I ever!

16. Date Of Birth?

Yes.

17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:

Who do I know with a big backyard. How long until they're missed. How do I get blood off of my clown suit.

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought?

Plutonium. Movie rights to the "Gor" books. Hung Pham.

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:

Mad Dog, Jack Daniels, Scotch and Mountain Dew, Black Label, "Shoggoth's Old Peculiar".

20. What time did you wake up today?

I didn't - the cocaine buzz lasted all night.

21. Current hair?

3018.

22. Current worry?

The Ice Weasel threat

23. Current hate?

Those damn Ice Weasel loving Conservatives.

24. Favorite place to be?

Away form the Ice Weasels.

25. Least favorite place to be?

Here.

26. Where would you like to go?

Away.

27. Do you own slippers?

I prefer galoshes.

28. What do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?

Released I hope.

29. Do you burn or tan?

Depends on what part of the cow I'm treating.

30. Last thing you ate?

Haggis sushi

31. Would you be a pirate?

According to the RIAA, I already am.

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?

I try not to encourage them.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?

The Rodeo Song - at the top of my lungs!

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?

Corey Hart - that fucker is creepy!

36. Last thing that made you laugh?

Resident Evil - Apocalypse.

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?

The ones I could use to repel down to the ground.

38. Worst injury you've ever had?

That time I was decapitated.

39. Whats your favorite color?

The one out of space.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?

Unless Josh is dressing up in Carmen's cloths, none.

41. Who is your loudest friend?

Harvey

42. Who is your most silent friend?

Harvey

43. Does someone have a crush on you?

Bwahahahahaha!

44. Do you wish on stars?

Yes - specifically Kate Beckinsale.

45. What is your favorite book?

Fiction: The Holy Bible. Non-Fiction: The Prisoner of Azkaban.

46. What is your favorite candy?

Samples?

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?

"Sex on Wheelz" - Thrill Kill Kult

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?

"Having My Baby" - Neil Sedaka

49. What were you doing 12AM last night?

"Who" not "What".

50. Do you love someone?

Currently it's "The Pussycat Dolls".

51. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Is it my choice when the debris keeps them open.

52. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?

I leave them extras!

53. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?

Nope. That's what the room with the ice machine is for.

54. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

Hey. I won that "rail-way crossing" sign fair and square.

55. Do you like to use post-it notes?

As sexual novelties, they can't be beat.

56. Do you cut out coupons and not use them?

As sexual novelties, they can't be beat.

57. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?

The bear - I can negotiate my way out with some gay porn and Gerry's phone number.

58. Can you knit or crochet?

Wink wink nudge nudge.

59. Do you always smile for pictures?

Sure - I don't want them focusing on the numbers on my chest.

60. What is your biggest pet peeve?

People who don't take LJ meme's seriously.

61. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

Sheets?

62. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

Um. Er. [loosens collar]

63. Have you ever peed in the woods?

Is a bear Catholic?

64. Do you ever jump up and down to make your privates jump?

I find haivng the Seargent Major ordering them to do it is the best way.

65. Do you chew your pens and pencils?

I swallow them whole.

66. How many people have you slept with this week?

All of them!

67. Do you like popcorn from those big tins?

Is the tin big enough for me to swim in?

68. What is your "Song of the week"?

"Macarthur Park" is the SONG of the WEEK, MONTH and YEAR baby!

69. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

The chick from MISunderstood? Hell yes.

70. Do you still watch cartoons?

Can't hear you - Animaniacs is on.

71. Whats your favorite scary movie?

"The 40 year old virgin"

72. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

The cat's litter box

73. What drink do you have with dinner?

With dinner? The drinking is dinner.

74. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

Everclear.

75. What is your favorite food/ cuisine?

Whatever the Safeway's dumpster is offering.

76. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Lesbian Spank Inferno

77. Last person you kissed/kissed you?

"I imagine it's the Queen"

78. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

I look good in a kilt and I make awesome cookies - Girl Scout it is!

79. Would you ever pose nude for a magazine?

"Popular Science"

80. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

I don't know anyone on paper.

81. Can you change the oil on a car?

Yeah, but what will I change it to?

82. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

[mumble mumble]

83. Have you ever run out of gas?

Not with my diet.

84. Favorite kind of sanga?

Sanga Claus!

85. Best thing to eat for breakfast?

Sleepover guests?

86. What is your usual bedtime?

Anytime they say "yes"

87. Are you lazy?

[mumble mumble]

88. When you were a kid what did you dress up as for halloween?

I wanted to scare as many people as I could - I went as a lawyer.

89. How many languages can you speak?

My linguistc skills are, dare I say it, cunning.

90. Will anyone notice that the original jumps here without a proper question?

God no, nobody is still reading this.

91. Are you sure?

Pretty sure, yeah.

92. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

"Popular Science" but I only read it for the articles, I swear.

93. Which are better lego or lincoln logs?

"lego my lincoln logs"

94. Are you stubborn?

NOTHING will EVER make me stubborn.

95. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?

Letterman because he could use his varsity sweater to change "brains" to "grains" and save us from that zombie invasion.
"It's a word, it's a plan... it's Letterman!"

96. Ever watch soap operas?

I've participated in a few.

97. Afraid of heights?

Only the heights of success.

98. Sing in the car?

"The Rodeo Song" at the top of my lungs.

99. Dance in the shower?

Do you like my new neck brace?

100. Dance in the car?

Do you like my new accident report?

101. Ever used a gun?

I have to turn the Television off somehow.

102. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

I told you, I only read it for the articles.

103. Are musicals cheesy?

Mmmm Cheese.

104. Is Christmas stressful?

Only if done properly.

105. Ever eat a perogie?

[dives for cover]

106. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Liberace

107. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Chartered Public Accountant

108. Do you believe in ghosts?

In Soviet Russia, Ghosts believe in YOU.

109. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Yes.

110. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Not even once.

111. Take a vitamin daily?

Are goofballs considered vitamins?

112. Wear slippers?

What was that about deja-vu again?

113. Wear a bath robe?

Nope - and you should hear my roomates bitch and moan about that.

114. What do you wear to bed?

Pink.

115. First concert?

Altamont.

116. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?

S-Mart.

117. Nike or Adidas?

All day I dream about sex.

118. Cheetos or Fritos?

Cheetos Never Prosper.

119. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

I like that kid Charlie Brown.

120. Ever hear of "gorp"?

Didn't Steve Jackson invent that?

121. Ever take dance lessons?

I got happy feet!

122. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

I like to hope she'll be "doing" a computer scientist.

123. Can you curl your tongue?

see 89 above.

124. Ever won a spelling bee?

What would I do with it?

125. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

I'm usually not that happy after getting cockpunched.

126. Own any record albums?

Right next to the 8-track tapes.

127. Own a record player?

None of my players hold any records.

128. Regularly burn incense?

um yeah, "incense", that's the ticket.

129. Ever been in love?

"Courtney" or "Jennifer Hewitt?"

130. If you were going to a music festival tomorrow, which 5 bands would you most want on the line-up?

"Buddy Holly", "Jim Croce", "Stevie Ray Vaughn", "Aliyah", "John Denver". We could have the FAA as a sponsor!

131. What was your last concert you saw?

The King, at the West Texas rest home.

132. Hot tea or cold tea?

Novel tea.

133. Tea or coffee?

Whichever was made with Vodka instead of water.

134. a.) Favorite Subway Sandwich?

The one with the two cute sandwich artists.

b.) Favorite kind of cookie?

The one baked by the devil.

135. Can you swim?

"gorp"

136. Can u hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?

Depends on whether Josh has been eating devilled eggs.

137. Are you patient?

I'm not evn sick.

138. DJ or band at a wedding?

Aren't wedding bands manditory?

139. Ever won a contest?

9.5!

140. Ever have plastic surgery?

Action figures ala Sid.

141. Green or black olives?

One for each nostril.

142. Best room for a fireplace?

It keeps the dungeon from being so dank.

143. Do you want to get married?

They have a tough time saying "I do" after the chloroform.

144. If married, how long have you been married?

145. Who was your high school crush?

I'm having a tough time choosing between Whitburn (Yogi) or Mieli (Boo Boo).

146. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

Nooooooooooooooo!

147. Do you have kids?

the eat ivy don't they?

148. Do you want kids?

I love kids, but I doubt I could eat a whole one.

149. Do you miss anyone right now?

Yeah, but my aim is improving

150. Who do you wanna see right now?

Boobies!

Comments

[ersatz-marduk.livejournal.com]

Re #118: I liked Nelvana features too.

[gifted-spirit.livejournal.com]

( looks into getting him a HouseCoat for xmas)