My Imaginary High School Graduation

[jamesq]

This article on Fark and the responses to it got me to thinking about my high school graduation. You don't have to follow the links if you don't want to, this blog is only tangentially related to the link.

I didn't go. This caused considerable friction between my parents and myself. To my way of thinking, to go to the ceremony was to celebrate high school - to say that it was all worth it. Every hateful person, every useless bureaucratic hoop I jumped through, every humiliating example of social Darwinism I endured, it was all worth it for this one piece of paper saying that I was a High School Graduate. Utter horseshit. They could force me to go to high school, but there was no way in hell they were going to make me say I liked it.

I was cajoled, threatened and put through severe guilt-tripping in an effort to make me go. I stood firm.

Later, I was told that I would eventually regret this decision - that when I was an older man I would wish I had gone to my high school graduation. Not true. Some of the bitterness may have faded with time, but I do not regret my decision one iota. If I had gone, I would probably regret that I'd caved in to my parents demands. My 10th year anniversary came and went and I didn't go. Assuming there is a 20th year anniversary (and it would have to be soon as I graduated in 1986) I'll be avoiding it too. There are only a handful of people I knew in high school that I'd care to still see now. I stay in semi-regular contact with all of them and I certainly don't need the excuse of a reunion to do so.

My parents eventually forgave me for this when I graduated from University. My convocation was a ceremony that had a positive personal meaning and I was happy to take part in it.

People who tell me that high school was the best years of their lives deserve it to be true.

Comments

[garething.livejournal.com]

Good for you. I went to my graduation and wished I hadn't. It was a farce. There is not one single person I knew in high school who is still alive that I would want to talk to now. I hated high school for many of the same reaons you did, so I understand completely.

[bungle-lord.livejournal.com]

Although I did not resent high school (not being a target), I still skipped the dances and graduation. Being bussed in, I was not really a part of the school social structure outside of class hours. I guess I drifted through high school, it was neither a good nor a bad part of my life.

I have never regretted skipping the dances or the graduation ceremony.

[nikitaa.livejournal.com]

I went to my grad - it was the "thing to do". That does not make it the comfortable thing to do.

In my case, I had completed high school half a year early - in January - and had little contact with people in my year at school. My mother received the information about Grad, and as a "special surprise" bought me tickets. Oh. Boy. Could I be any more excited? (The correct answer is no).

I have never been bit on parties - especially not gatherings of strangers. I prefer a quiet evening with a few close friends... I'm really not that good at 'small talk' - and at parties, like graduation, all the talk is small...

However, I did drop by the school for a reunion - and it was interesting to encounter some of those with whom I had spent a few years of my life. Perhaps what was most interesting to me were some of the teachers whom I had known - and who remembered me well. Life goes on, and we speed ever forwards with change as the only constant. Sometimes it can be a good thing to remind ourselves from where we once started.

I think I understand

[nosarious.livejournal.com]

I went to my graduation mostly because of my parents. Not really because of them but for them. That year we moved to High River in Southern Alberta from a small town in Northern Alberta. My parents knew a lot of people in the town, and this was also one of the only times I was 'accepted' within the structure of the school. All other times I was watching the events unfold from the sidelines.

To say my days in this small town were fun all the time would be false. I made my own fun with my own friends, like I do now. After being treated in a small minded durogatory way throughout highschool I have tried very hard not to treat others in a like manner. It's a small thing, but encouragement and pointing others to look at their life in a positive way makes the stuff I dealt with at a younger age .

Graduations do offer one thing. Closure. You close out that part of your life and move on to others. Not having that closrure can mean not fully walking away from it and carrying some little piece of excess baggage around in your back pocket. But the choice for whether or not to attend something like a graduation should always be up to you. Just remember the choice to not go affects a lot of other people, too, parents included.

In point of the article, though, good on the kid. Sometimes people need to have an envelope of glossy black and whites handed to them to see what it's like in school outside of the staff room. My school was severely ignored, and things only came to light after the riots. Which occurred after the fire. (and no, for the record I was not involved in either)

[slavewench.livejournal.com]

I agree. High school was crap. I'm debating with myself wether I'll go to my reunion. It's this year.

[wackynephews.livejournal.com]

I sometimes think that I may have been the only ones amongst my friends that enjoyed his high school years. It's not that I was cool or popular, it's just that I found my own stream and found enjoyment from the other fish in that stream. So, as it was, I went and consequently had a great time at my grad. But even at such a tender age I did appreciate the irony of "friends forever" statements handed out by the cool kids.

As to reunions, when you return as someone who works as a stripper in gay bars, it makes them far more interesting.

[jamesq]

Yet another reason why I'm insanely jealous of you.