Wasted Opportunity

[jamesq]

I was walking to work this morning when I became aware of someone rushing to catch up to me. I disengaged my iPod as the person came in beside me.

"Hi there, I was wondering if you would like a gift?" she said.

It was a Morman missionary, unusual in two ways. She was female. She was alone. I had previously believed that only men could go on missions (perhaps I misunderstood that - it might have been only men can become elders). I'd also thought that there was a requirement that they travel in pairs, presumably for safety. Live and learn I guess.

She was holding a copy of the Book of Mormon and a handful of pamphlets. No doubt these were the gift she wanted me to have.

"No", I say, then by way of explaination I add, "I'm an Atheist."
"Well is there anything else I can do for you", she asks.
"Nope", I say as I redon my earphones and continue on my way.

It was a few seconds later when my mind latched onto the (probably unintentional) double entendré of her last statement. Then it registered just how adorable she was. Petite, red-haired, a figure only slightly concealled by the prim black jacket/skirt combo she was wearing. Yum.

What I should have done is ask her out for coffee.

The chances of a coffee date with a Morman missionary ending with freaky circus sex are vanishingly small. However, the hour spent would have been entertaining as she tried to convert me to Mormonism and I tried to convert her to Atheism.

Hmm. Maybe I'll see her again wandering around the Dalhousie Hive - I've been told that the missionaries rent apartments in garething and stephtopia's building.

Comments

[catalytic.livejournal.com]

Heh, if nothing else you could have coffee with a cute redhead. There are worse ways to kill an hour.

If you're interested in former Mormon views about Mormanism you could check out a couple of people on my friends list:

shunn is an infamous former Mormon who once called in a bomb threat at the Calgary International Airport. You have to read his account to get the full benefit, and I'll tell you right now he's a terrific writer.

And if you have any questions about growing up as a Mormon you might chat up the lovely pixelfish as she is planning on a writing story of her own last I heard.

But, yeah, it does seem odd that you would encounter one missionary out on her own. (although I do remember female missionaries being mentioned in Shunn's story, so I know they do exist... I just find it odd that they'd be out alone)

[ersatz-marduk.livejournal.com]

I like the way you think, even if you didn't get there right away. (Then again, I'm the guy who missed the cue offered by being asked how to get to 4th Avenue while standing on 3rd.) Maybe next time.

She might not have been alone, however. For some reason, the only missionaries I see around here are all female and they tend to approach me individually, with the idea that they are less threatening if they don't double team you. I've always noticed the second or third someone in the general area when they try to offer me their gift, usually standing between fifty and a hundred feet away.

Now if the area is crowded enough, you might miss the second person. They've been very careful about not swarming on me, but they're certainly within running distance if I did try something inappropriate.

Come to think of it, you don't live that far from here. It might be the same group.

Thanks for the "freaky circus sex act" comment, though. That made me giggle.

[jamesq]

I'm pretty sure we work really close to each other (I'm in the ERRB, next to ARC in Research Park).

This was near work, in the parking lot of the townhouse complex that's on the NW corner of 40th Ave and Crowchild.

[ersatz-marduk.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I recall seeing you heading that way. I didn't realize it was where you worked, so much as where your work often took you.

And yes, that's where I've seen them as well. They're out in that complex a lot.

After reading Mr. Shunn's piece, I think I shall have to be a little less rushed with them. I can always catch the next bus.