The Doom That Came to Cowtown

I've never had a bad time at a Bitter End Event. That trend continues.

Good

Shot well enough in their Defender's tournament to tie for third. Two solid arrows and I could have won.

Got lots of quality gossiping in with assorted people.

The tournaments I didn't take part in looked like a lot of fun.

The Black Galley provided me with a quality roast beef dinner.

Bad

Said dinner from the Black Galley was required because there was no on-board feast this year. The harvest wasn't that good this year I guess.

I'm sunburned.

Ugly

I feel like I'm on the edge of a depressive incident. This has nothing to do with Harvest Feast (hell, it probably postponed it), but they are coinciding.

Meh

Still sorting out some social issues.

Other observations

I'm not as good at observing where the cameras are as I thought.

Sir Gunther (whom I do not know, and have not met), looked like a helmet containing nothing but a giant grin whenever he was fighting. Clearly this was a man simply happy to be out in the sun swinging a sword.

Benalto is sufficiently farther than Shady Nook, that it through off my travel time estimates. I'm happy I got there in time to compete.

An Tir September Crown is coming up and I'm going. However, it's the most likely sort of SCA event for me to have adverse mental reactions to. Which is to say that I often find SCA events triggering, despite my overall enjoyment of them.

Events that don't have much for me to do, or are very lengthy, or have many people I don't know - these are the sorts of events that trigger a depressive incident. Events that have what I think of as "SCA Exclusivity" are often the worst. Those are the events where some lucky person gets elevated from the pack and everyone declares long and loudly how special they are and how much they belong. I find that sort of thing underlines my own outsider status. I know it's not rational, but it's still there.

September Crown promises to have all that. In fact, one of the reasons I'm going is I had a premonition that someone I know is going to get the SCA Exclusivity treatment, and I'd like to see it (It being long overdue, and no, I don't care if thinking "about damn time" upsets some people). I'm not going to jinx it by saying who that person is here, but ask me in private and I'll likely tell you. And no, I don't have supernatural powers or any sort of insider knowledge. I just think it's the right time for them.

Other triggers are all well represented: It's an event outside of my home area, that focuses on the Crown tournament. Travel time is long so I can't bug out early. Plus I'm currently fighting a cold. The illness isn't really restricting me in any way, but it will sap my mental defenses, so I need to be aware of that.

On the other hand, there will be a lot of people whom I do know at the event, including people I only see rarely. Enough Montengarde folk will be there that I can socialize without feeling like any one person's fifth wheel.

Finally, the event is in the Greater Vancouver area, which is a plus. If all else fails, I can simply leave for awhile to get my head on straight. The trick will be to recognize the point where that will do me good, rather than after I've crashed. It's still good to get away after a crash, since I don't want to alienate all the people around me by being Eeyore, but it's not exactly Plan-A.

Plan-A is to have a good time. Plan-B is have as good a time as possible, while using exit-strategies in an intelligent and restrained manner. Plan-C is to EJECT EJECT EJECT.

So, don't drink unless I'm having a good time. Be prepared to leave the site (temporarily if possible) if I'm feeling down. Remember that other people getting accolades is a good thing and it's not all about me.

So yeah, tomorrow I start my road trip.

• Thursday: Leave work early, drive to Revelstoke.
  
• Friday: Drive to Crown, set up camp, reconnoiter.
  
• Saturday: Shoot things, watch people beat each other with sticks, drink (maybe).
  
• Sunday: Shoot more things, hang out.
  
• Monday: Break camp, find a hotel, stand under the shower for two hours.
  
• Tuesday-Wednesday: Hang around Port Wood and visit the Vancouver peeps.
  
• Thursday: Bid farewell to othelianna.
  
• Thursday or Friday: Drive to Revelstoke (depending on timing).
  
• Friday or Saturday: Home again, home again. Jiggity-jig.

I was going to respond to a bunch of comments from earlier, but I think a second post will be better. Especially since I've had an extra day to ponder and get my jumbled half-formed thoughts a little more organized.

Let's imagine, for a moment, a society that promotes the re-creation of medieval skills and knowledge. There would be arts, crafts, and martial training. The group would have events, both locally and in larger regions. However, people in the group do not have anything like a separate persona, and there would be no requirement to dress or act medieval (though one could if they liked - to demonstrate one's talents in creating costumes using period techniques for example). The winner of a regional armoured competition would simply the winner of a tournament. In this group, you would simply be you.

The skills fostered in this group would be real skills. The relationships fostered in this group would be real relationships. All exactly as real as the skills and relationships in the SCA. Clearly this hypothetical group would not be the SCA. Probably wouldn't be nearly so fun either.

If you take the SCA and subtract out that hypothetical group, what are you left with? You're left with the form of the SCA - a group of people pretending to be medieval. It can only be pretend of course because we don't actually live in the middle ages. At the end of the weekend we pile into our cars and go back to our mundane lives.

It's not strictly re-enactment either. Our personas are not historical people - there is no King Arthur in the SCA, no Eleanor of Aquitaine. I have never seen anyone attempt to re-enact a real battle in the SCA, though I suppose it's been attempted at some point in the last 48 years.

We have different names from the modern world. We dress differently. We have achievements that, while based of real skills and activities, don't translate out into the modern world. That all looks like role-playing characters to me. I have a persona separate from myself that has clearly "levelled up". I'm quite proud of those levels, and all of them took the application of real-world effort to achieve.

The main argument I've seen against it being a LARP is that it promotes the honing of real skills. I don't know that that's a good argument. Games don't have to have purely artificial skills associated with them. The athleticism in a professional sport is not in any way a virtual skill - it's very very real. I think that because many LARPs have virtual skills there's a belief that they must have them - that something without virtual skills cannot therefore be a LARP. It's like saying that because birds fly, things that don't fly (penguins, say) cannot be birds.

There's more to the SCA than just the LARP aspects, but that doesn't mean the LARP aspects vanish - there's still an element of play-acting to the whole thing. Not everyone is necessarily good at it though. On a scale of one (doesn't play-act at all) to ten (balls-to-the-wall re-enactor who won't respond to you out-of-character), I'm probably about a two - I bow and use milord and milady. I could probably give a basic persona outline if I had to. But I don't have to be Olivier to participate.

Take the LARPing out of the SCA and you're left with the hypothetical group I describe above. No Kings or queens. No lords or ladies. Just the relationships and skills. And yet that seems a little boring doesn't it? It's like the LARPing aspect - the pomp and pageantry, the use of archaic titles and new identities - they're what really bring the SCA to life.

I don't mind that it's a LARP, even though I'm crap at LARPing, I have no problem with it being a LARP because I see nothing wrong with having fun in the context of a game. Nor do I see games as being necessarily frivolous things. People get out of them what they put in, and some people pour their very lives into the SCA.

Don't object that the SCA is a LARP. Object to the viewpoint that games don't matter.

I'll be foregoing the usual GBU format. Point format will be insufficient for the important stuff.

First, this was a pretty good Quad War. Not epic, not great, but solidly good. For the most part there were only two negative things that happened to me (both partially, but not entirely, my fault). Plenty of negative things happened to others - it wasn't so much that tragedy occurred as everyone could catch a whiff of it in the air. You'd be enjoying yourself and then there'd be a little reminder. A lot of people couldn't attend because of personal tragedy. Others had a far more expensive time making it due to mechanical difficulties.

None of that affected me personally though. In fact, the logistics of coming to Quad War were quite nice. I got to travel with one of my best friends (garething). New friend were solidified by a shared camp (in a prime location) and shared experiences (GD and SE). I got to hang out with lots of kind and generous folks.

The weather was warm and comfortable without being stinking hot. It rained once on Sunday, briefly.

Friday I ended up volunteering at the archery range even though it wasn't my shift yet. Also I did middling-well in both the water jug shoot and the Iron Arrow challenge. Iron Arrow wasn't a team event this year, which was odd. It was fun though, as was the ever-popular water-jug shoot. There will be a variant of the latter at Odin's Playground this year (or so I'm told), so go check it out if you can hold a bow.

Saturday I spent the morning in charge of the range. There my better nature got me into trouble. You see, there was a kid there and he couldn't shoot (no guardian present). He looked like he was going to be trouble so I asked him if he would like to learn how to marshal (while underlining the point that he wasn't get authorized at this event, even if he was a grown-up). My intent was to teach him the basics and have him shadow me, while simultaneously using him as a gofer. Unfortunately, he ended up acting like he was already a marshal (not good, especially when he was distracted by shiny things). I caught shit for this from the Marshal-in-charge. The shit was deserved, so I spent a fair amount of time kicking myself over it. I was later told by a friend that he was snooping around the shed when (he thought) no one was around. Incidentally, the kid already had a poor reputation for this short of crap from earlier events (cf. QW1010). But I like to believe that people can overcome and outgrow their reputations, so I gave him a chance. Sadly it bit me and it made me look bad to a person I respect (the archery MIC for the event).

The last word I had with the kid - and this was prior to the snooping - I told him he wasn't up to marshalling yet, and likely wouldn't be for several years. If he was interested, I said, he should seek out the Borealis archers and make an effort to practice and learn, starting with the Book of Target. And I told RT and BB about this so they could keep an eye out. If I find he hasn't done this, then I'll know he's in it for the attention, not the love of archery.

That evening I got to see some friends get invested as the newest Prince and Princess of Avacal. I'm glad they went with a ceremony of sufficient gravitas, and not some whacky court shtick. I heard rumours of a Star Wars-themed hand-off and I'm rather glad that didn't happen. Also, it makes several obvious jokes that shouldn't be made.

That night I drank all the rum. I had a fun time at the Grotto and I was neither grabby, creepy, or obnoxious! I was, however, ridiculously drunk. Possibly the most I've ever been. I think this because of my inability to stand up correct that night, and the nightmarish hangover I had the next day.

Being hung over when you need to shoot a championship tourney is not good. I somehow managed to get to the range and got a couple practice rounds in. While collecting a wayward arrow I was going over what I would say during the invocation of the lists. Unfortunately, I manage to fuck this up. Every. Single. Time. I. Do. It. Every single time.

So I feel like I'm literally dying, and I'm trying to figure out what to say so that I don't look like an ass. The fog clears for an instant and I realize I'm teetering on the edge of a major anxiety attack. Guess how much that improved my mood. Then I get back to the line and I'm informed that I have to have an inspiration (i.e. someone present that I look to for inspiration) for the championship. First I've heard this news, about two minutes before Their Highnesses show up. Fuck.

I hate having to find inspirations. It's basically imposing on someone and forcing them to put themselves out for me while I fail to impress them. Plus it requires the exact same non-existent part of my brain that other people use for setting up first dates. Thankfully, I've been to plenty of championships where people are "inspired" by concepts. I figure I'd go that route. I'm "inspired" by my love of archery.

So Their Highnesses show up and we line up and say our pieces. I get up to the head of the line, kneel down and proceed to completely cock-up my speech and I'm about ready to shrink down to one inch tall and run into a gopher hole. And then I'm told, no, I can't vie for Champion because I don't have an inspiration. Oh, the Prince has his reasons, and he states them for everyone. I dutifully tell him I understand and go to the back of the crowd. Meanwhile I'm thinking they want a certain kind of person for Champion, a person capable of getting an inspiration, i.e. a person who isn't me.

But that might be the depression talking. That's what the evidence suggests given several people came up to me immediately after the crowd broke telling me that, had they known, they'd have happily been my inspiration.

So I sit down under a sun shade, pound back some water, and feel a great weight lifting from my shoulders. I suddenly have literally nothing to prove to anyone and can shoot the whole damn thing for the fun of it! And that's what I did. As the shoot progressed over the next few hours, and as the ibuprofen/water/electrolytes repaired my brain I felt better and better. And I shot fairly well too. Though for me it was like Who's Line Is It Anyway - the score was made up and the points don't matter. Literally - I got half a point for lobbing two arrows down range without using my bow during a timed end.

The shoot itself was entertaining and I got to shoot SE's combat arrows, managing to hit a helmet in the grill on my last shot of the tournament.

Afterward, I had a much needed nap. Sadly I missed the war bow shoot, which DM said was super entertaining. Evening brought court and it was pretty cool. Finally there was the "Kingdom Kegger", a little get together at the town square where we could ask the powers that be about Avacal's attempt to become a Kingdom. I didn't really have any questions, which didn't stop me from asking the Principality Seneschal what the capital of Alaska was (He said Anchorage, I said Nome. Turns out we're both wrong - it's Juneau).

My opinion on the Kingdom of Avacal? I'm 60% apathetic and 40% for it, mostly because all my friends are for it and I want my friends to be happy.

The sun went down and we got a nice view of the Aurora Borealis. Something I've only seen a handful of times because I'm a city boy. It's a nice feature of our northern land and I think some SCA branch should incorporate it into their name. Maybe a Barony.

I went to bed just before midnight and had a fairly good (and sober) sleep. I awoke refreshed and happy to have been at the event and a little sad that I was leaving without seeing lots more people. Seriously, I'd love to just sit around a campfire and chat in small groups with everyone. But that would take many more nights than we had. At least I managed it with SE and GD, who are awesome camp-mates, and I'm not just saying that because they let me use their shower.

Gareth and I packed our stuff and took off. We missed the Highway Traffic Cafe after party and there were no new notes at the Killam urinal (though last year's messages were still there). An uneventful drive brought us back to Cowtown.

There's a rumour going around that Avacal/Tir Tigh War will be held in Salmon Arm next year. I hope it's true since I avoided it last year due to distance and potentially awful weather. The weather I can't do anything about, aside from making a last-minute go/no-go decision. I also had some major complaints about the site itself (tl;dr version: unresponsive site owners and ankle-deep buffalo shit), so another Clearwater site might not have tipped the balance, but a Salmon Arm site might.

Travel Times:

• Vancouver-Clearwater: 5:40
  
• Vancouver-Salmon Arm: 5:28
  
• Edmonton-Clearwater: 7:53
  
• Edmonton-Salmon Arm: 9:26
  
• Calgary-Clearwater: 9:02
  
• Calgary-Salmon Arm: 6:25

Vancouver's time improvement is a wash - they save twelve minutes on a five+ hour trip. Edmonton comes off a little worse, basically an additional hour and a half. Calgary is the big winner, we get a 2 and half hour savings! It also sucks for Prince George, which doesn't have many "nearby" events. and at six hours to Clearwater, this was a "close" event for them.

I find that the six or seven hour point is where one jumps from long, but doable to must devote entire day to travel. Below that level and one can still go to the site after quitting work for the day, rather than having to take the day off. By that rational, Borealis' loss is not as significant as Montengarde's gain: We're crossing that threshold, but they're not.

Of course the real problem is simple geography - the distances between Lionsgate and Avacal is huge and the mountain passes dictate that either Borealis gets screwed or Montengarde does. Still, I'll be glad if the rumours are true and it isn't us. Hopefully a much larger Montengarde contingent will show that we're worth making the effort for.

Aside: The Salmon Arm fairgrounds are a ten minute stagger from the nearest hotel!

In other news, I'm not going to be making it to November Coronet this year. As much as I'd like to see assorted worthies get their special moments, I simply don't have the time, money or spoons.

What can I say about Quad War? It was a Quad War. As with most SCA events, they start out seeming fresh and new but you get to a stage where the same things happen over and over. Thursday set up; Friday Wench Wars; Saturday Jug shoot, Pirate Palooza, Lost Viking court, Grotto party; Sunday Iron Arrow, Archery championship, The Seawolf Bay fire. Monday tear down and after lunch at a Wainwright restaurant. All-in-all pretty routine.

And yet, despite not liking that routine the last couple of years (really - can't we mix it up a bit?) this year I let those feeling of irritation go and I just went with it. The familiar was embraced for what it was - an opportunity to use the form of Quad war to enjoy what it was really about, good times with good friends.

Good

First, I got to spend quality time with lots of good folks. There's never enough time to do it all given that there are 600+ people at this event, but I did have a few meaty conversations with folks, and drive-by huggings with others.

I was witness to a lot of the manufactured "drama" (court-shtick for households really, but without so much court) for the 1st year anniversary of Quon and Anabel arranged political marriage. Fun to watch.

It was nice seeing new people from Castel Rouge there. Keep pimping out Quad War folks, just because it's not in Northshield, doesn't mean it's not fabulous.

Bjar the Blue's vigil and elevation to the Order of the Pelican. For you non-SCAdians, this is a Big Deal™. I had no advice or questions for Blue. Instead I just offered him my envy - he's always fit into the SCA in a way I never have. I guess that's why he's a Pelican and I'm not.

Carousing! Saturday night may have been a top-five drunk for me. Because it was a top-five drunk I was able to overcome my natural anxiety about flirting to actually attempt it.

Quick aside about flirting. I've always felt that this wasn't something you do to get laid, but really about sexy banter. Despite that, I know that a lot of people use it as a vehicle for sex. And let's be honest, I've indulged in those thoughts too, even if I know that's not the point intellectually. But my heart has different ideas, and because it does, I'm no good at it due to self-confidence and anxiety reasons.

Sober, I can sometimes flirt - maybe as a drive-by quip, or even up to two statements. But once I see that a girl is flirting back? I panic and run, or freeze up, or say something blindingly creepy. The trick for me is to be so drunk that my internal editor shuts up. Well, the editor never shuts up, but when I'm drunk I usually think "fuck the editor, I'm going to have fun." Sadly, the potential for creepy loser statements also goes up, but it's not inevitable.

This time around I was at the sweet spot where I could flirt, I wasn't creepy (I hope - my judgement was impaired too so I can't be 100% certain of that, which is an unfortunate side effect of ignoring the editor) and there were women willing to flirt back! I had an absolutely wonderful time flirting up a storm at the Grotto Party. Some girl who's name I don't know (but I'm pretty sure is from Cold Keep) I was especially happy to flirt with.

Bad

I was flirting with one girl I know too much. She told me to flirt with others. I think she was trying to aim me at more acceptable targets rather than suggest she didn't like me flirting. Ultimately I think this was a good thing, but I do worry that I upset her or made her think I was creepy.

God decided that my flirting had to stop and hit the Grotto (and the surrounding countryside) with a wrath-filled prairie thunderstorm. It completely drenched everything.

I missed Marie getting her Child of the Minotaur.

Bjorn discovered I had a flat tire as I was attempting to leave site on Monday. Thankfully a can of puncture sealant I bought years ago for just such an occasion worked as intended and got me, my car and Marie to the Wainwright Canadian Tire. Still, the money I got for selling my helm was entirely used up buying a new tire.

I discovered on the ride home that two cute girls were looking for me in the Montengarde encampment on Thursday night! Why didn't anyone tell me sooner? Sadly Marie did not recognize them due to darkness.

Ugly

Nothing happened to me - certainly there were no depressive incidents or anxiety attacks. I attribute this to good preparation and my rule about drinking two days in a row.

Sadly, ugliness did affect two friends. I wish I could wave my magic wand and take their tears away, but I can only fix the problems that I can get my hands on. Social problems are something I'm rotten at. Anyway, not my story to tell, I just hope that everything turns out right for each of them - they both deserve happy endings.

Noteworthy

The archery shoots were enjoyable. I did OK in all of them but was never in any danger of winning any of them.

The weather was at times stinking hot and at others pouring rain. Still it was never oppressively so. I didn't get heat stroke and I don't appear to be badly sunburned. The tent made it through the rain without collapsing of leaking greatly. I discovered it leaked a little due to me piling some dirty clothes against he wall. Note to self - cloth on canvas wicks moisture.

I didn't get to socialize with Marie as much as I'd hoped (before her move to Vancouver), as I deliberately left her to do her own thing during the event. I knew I'd be able to monopolize her time on the way home. And I did.

Summary

I had a blast. It wasn't quite an epic Quad war for me, but it was good enough to leave me with almost all happy memories of it. That's pretty good for a negative fellow like me.

I was authorized for SCA heavy fighting in 2009. In that time I've gone to one practice and participated in one scenario requiring the use of armour (Estrella's Quick and the Dead combat archery duel competition). I was in largely borrowed armour.

I learned a couple of not terribly complimentary things:

• I don't like being used as a pell.
  
• I see red when I get hit in the face.
  
• When it comes to contact sports, I'm a sore loser.

Since then, I've made a completely half-assed attempt at getting proper armour for myself. This includes having several people making repeated offers to help. I haven't so much rebuffed those offers as simply ignored them. Anything like actual progress towards being able to fight has always filled me with a deep anxiety.

Now anxiety (and here I'm talking about the sort of crippling social anxiety that's plagued me my whole life) isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's fear basically, and fear is often something you need to face down. If I faced down my fear of asking women out more often, my life would likely be significantly better (or not, the sample size is small, but I'm still 0.000 for getting a date on those occasions where I've asked).

But not all fear is indicative of something that needs facing down. It's perfectly reasonable to be afraid of large predators (if the confrontation were likely), but I don't think my life would be improved by seeking out a mama grizzly bear so I could stand between her and her cub while yelling "You want a piece of me".

Ultimately it's a cost benefit analysis. Do I think I'll get something positive out of this activity - and would that outweigh the effort?

Benefits of SCA heavy fighting:

• It's a martial art. Martial arts in general provide a host of related benefits to most people - things like self-defense skills and confidence.
  
• additional social connections within the SCA.
  
• Fitness. I'd certainly increase my shoulder and arm strength if I practiced regularly.
  
• Fun. Despite looking like they've been taken through the wringer, fighters coming off the field look like they're having a grand time.
  
• No-Shit-There-I-Was stories.

Of course, none of those are clear-cut examples of why I should devote my time to SCA heavy combat specifically. After all, there are other martial arts (including inside the SCA) that would give me similar benefits. There are other (non-combat oriented) activities that would provide me with social benefits.

Drawbacks to SCA heavy fighting:

• It's very damaging. There's a reason why there's a constant one-upmanship with regards to visible bruising; it's because people get hurt - a lot.
  
• A significant minority of the participants are people I'd rather not get to know.
  
• There's a significant buy in cost before you know if you like it.

Nothing insurmountable there.

I'm sure my second point about the significant minority will be contentious. Let's just say that the sort of people who bullied me in school have found a home in SCA heavy fighting. It doesn't mean all heavy fighters are like that (most aren't). Nor does it mean that those people are engaging in bullying now (though I've seen it). However, long experience means I know the type when I encounter them. I'm a big boy, I can handle difficult people. But do I want to hang out with them?

Slightly related to this, there are heavy fighters who believe that heavy fighting should have a privileged position in the SCA. This is politically incorrect, so you generally need to get a few drinks into them before it becomes obvious. While this knowledge doesn't affect my reasoning strongly, I do acknowledge that it's there. It's a negative pressure, making me want to not do heavy fighting because it validates them.

I'm human, not every reason is rational.

All this could simply be over-analyzing. It's been in the back of my mind for a long time now with me bouncing between the extremes of just do it and admit that you're not going to do it. An SCA swap-meet yesterday forced my hand.

Being a very strong INTP, I have a very good intuition that I paradoxically hate relying on. Yesterday I did. I made the snap judgement to give it all up counting on the shakeup to clear the dross from my mind on this topic. Jumping into an idea can clarify your feelings - if you feel relief, it was a good idea; if you feel regret, it was probably a bad idea. It helps that this is the sort of idea that can be corrected if I got it wrong. So how did it go?

First, getting rid of my armour simply felt right, like a burden had been lifted. Second, I was reminded about my last major attempt to fit in with the cool kids back in high school:

I was on my Alma Mater's junior football team. New to high school, I was voluntold to come out for the team by a coach who saw that I was bigger then most of the other kids. And I gave it the old college try. I stuck around for the whole season, I went out for practices, I tried to get be friendly with my teammates. Nope, I was still a nerd and they were still jocks. I got picked on my whole time there and about the only thing it accomplished was the bullies knew my name in the subsequent years, whereas if I wasn't on the team that first year, I'd have just been "that guy".

Aside: I had four plays in one game the whole season. It was the one thing in my school career that my father was proud of until I got my post-secondary degree. *I* was glad I stuck out the whole season, but wild dogs couldn't have dragged me back as a sophomore.

Giving up heavy fighting reminded me of all this. Looking back, the only reason I was interested in it was peer-pressure. Like high school football, this was an attempt to fit in with the cool kids and that's a piss-poor reason to do anything.

I suspect everyone came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to do it long before I admitted it to myself. Certainly when I brought everything out there were no statements along the lines of "Are you sure you want to get rid of this". Nope, it was all "Getting rid of your blunts? How much are they?"

In conclusion, I have nothing against heavy fighting. To use the cliche, some of my best friends are heavy fighters. It's exciting to watch and I freely acknowledge that they're having a great time. It's just not for me.

Oh look, the SCA settled the lawsuit and we all have to pay for their bad policy decisions. It's a good thing we're all a bunch of independent not-for profit groups outside the USA so we can protect ourselves from the larger organization. Oh wait, we're not anymore. Well, I guess it's a good thing they would never ever raid our bank accounts. Oh wait, they can do that, if we don't jump through the hoop willingly. They'll feel sad about it though.

Sadly, it's kind of the worst of all worlds: We didn't win, and we didn't lose so badly that the wide scale systemic changes the SCA hierarchy needs will occur.

Aside from a desire to say "I told you so" (which I am scratching here, rather than getting into it at social events that I'd rather not sully with talk of the BOD) I'm mostly ambivalent about the whole thing. The damage was done and I got my anger out of my system back then. Everyone else drank the mead-flavoured Kool-Aid.

Can we have an independent SCA-Canada now?

Aside: I don't know if I'll get any comments on this here since LJ is kind of dying. If I do, stick to the topic at hand - any comments blaming the victims of child molestation for this will be summarily deleted without warning.

The most important thing about Montengarde 12th night is that it's not Kingdom 12th night.

The event was fun and well organized. The activities were the usual for M12N (there's not a lot of room for innovation at this event, sadly) and court had moments that were sometimes fun, sometimes touching and sometimes both.

( Not so much emo as the after-effect about broadcasting one's emo... )

Anyway, back to M12N. The event stewards seemed to have really looked at previous events with an eye towards using what worked and ditching what didn't and innovating where stagnant. The menu was pre-described, so people could make an educated decision about whether to eat on or off-board. The feast was simple, but tasty. This gave everyone a satisfying meal, on time, with plenty of left-overs.

Attendees had the ability to set their seating arrangements prior to the tables being set out (on a white board) which eliminated most of the drama that occurs during the mad rush to set up tables. Drama wasn't entirely eliminated (the Stewards had to move a few people around at the last minute to make everything work), but it was the least hectic I've ever seen table set up happen.

Related to the seating was the fact that the Stewards did not make a big deal of people moving around after the fact. As one stated to me (paraphrasing) "Each table of six is getting six person's worth of food. If you want to crowd 8 people around your table knowing that, it's not my concern". I like this, it shows they didn't sweat the small stuff.

Court saw a number of gentles getting awards they deserved. It also saw a bunch of people vying for sergeantry. I kind of want to do this, but my lack of talent convinces me not to. Plus I'm not entirely sure what the sergeantry does. Oh well, It's too late to decide for this reign, and I'm not going to make that commitment for the next reign until I know who they are.

I got lots of nice visiting in, talked to people who I haven't had a lot of time for of late (and vice-versa), and helped out a small amount. The only real downside (aside from the bad timing of the event in relationship to my issues) is the people who couldn't make it. Oh well, there's always next time.

I ended up talking myself into the job of co-steward for Dragonslayer this year. As events go, it's probably the easiest to run. My participation amounted to ordering extra toilets, being around at council meetings to answer any questions about the event with "I don't know" and doing a final walk-through when everything was done.

Good:

• bow_bitch did most of the heavy lifting.
  
• Several kind gentles took it upon themselves to clean up the site, meaning I didn't have to.
• There might be things that irritate me about the SCA, but service in general and leaving sites better than you found them are not among them.
  
• The Hidden Treasures shoot was fun, I had great company doing it (BB, garething, stragin, RC), and it wasn't a death march like previous years (cutting it in half was a great decision).
  
• Sitting around the bardic fire Friday and Saturday nights was a lot of fun.
  

Bad:

• I gave myself a minor groin-pull Friday afternoon while helping people set up their camps. Thankfully it was minor enough that it didn't stop me from having fun, and it was 75% better the next day and 100% gone by Sunday.
  
• We finally got the site nicely balanced. Sadly we're likely only going to have the site one more year.
  
  

Ugly:

• Had a brief depressive attack due to my poor showing in the Dragonblinder tournament. I really need to come to terms with the fact that I'm nowhere near as good an archer as I was before, and the one tournament I've truly coveted is the one I'm never going to win. Sigh. The Hidden Treasures shoot snapped me out of it.
  

Other stuff happened that I won't go into here. Suffice to say it generated a small amount of drama but ultimately went in a positive direction. If oblivions can be deliberately vague in her LJ, then so can I!

While taking down the Baronial Pavilion, I had the following exchange with a lady I didn't know:

"What if you want to serve, but you're an asshole," asked the lady, who I think was being self-deprecating.
"Those are excellent qualities for a Seneschal!"

.