Tales of the Real Canadian Superstore™
Sep. 14th, 2001 09:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jamesqThe Bruce and I will sometimes buy our groceries at the Real Canadian Superstore - they carry some products that Safeway doesn't have. Some of these we buy, and others we make fun of. Some of you may remember the horrors of Ready, Aim, Cheese (a semi-perishable(?) aerosol cheese), Cola-flavored Ice Tea (it's just like regular cola, only watered down and flat) and the two Scottish soft drinks: Iron Brew and Dandelion & Bannock (the reason why everyone in Europe drinks alcohol - no one knows how to make a decent cola).
It makes me wonder who runs things at Superstore. My friends who work there often wonder the same thing. From recent expeditions we have found the following products:
President's Choice The Virtuous Vegetable Oil Cooking Spray
This is a PAM knockoff, however, we were wondering what made it "Virtuous" - was it the fact that it was all vegetable? We decided to check the ingredient list to find out: Canola Oil, Soy Lecithin, Water, Isobutane, Propane.
Apparently, isobutane and propane make the spray virtuous. I'd hate to see the non-virtuous spray, the ingredients would be something like this: Baby seal fat, Varsol and Hydrogen Sulfide.
Short of using a dab of butter, you have no choice in the matter, all of the nonstick sprays (PAM included) contain these two ingredients.
Naturally, we bought a can.
COCK
Yes, if you want some COCK you can get it at Superstore - and not just by seducing the stock-boys. It's a big clear bottle with it's name in a big, 100 point font on the front. You might not want it though - it's emulsified fish. I have no idea what you would use this for, though I suppose you could deep fry with it. Cock-fried chicken in batter, yum!
Both Lisa and Carmen tell me that there is nothing worse than having a broken bottle of this stuff at your cash till - apparently it smells like a locker-room at the starfish gymnasium.
Clamato Rimmer
The thought of drinking Clamato juice (It's clams and tomatoes!) fills me with cold, pants-wetting, fear. I therefore don't even want to know what a Clamato Rimmer is. It's a powder, if that helps.
It makes me wonder who runs things at Superstore. My friends who work there often wonder the same thing. From recent expeditions we have found the following products:
President's Choice The Virtuous Vegetable Oil Cooking Spray
This is a PAM knockoff, however, we were wondering what made it "Virtuous" - was it the fact that it was all vegetable? We decided to check the ingredient list to find out: Canola Oil, Soy Lecithin, Water, Isobutane, Propane.
Apparently, isobutane and propane make the spray virtuous. I'd hate to see the non-virtuous spray, the ingredients would be something like this: Baby seal fat, Varsol and Hydrogen Sulfide.
Short of using a dab of butter, you have no choice in the matter, all of the nonstick sprays (PAM included) contain these two ingredients.
Naturally, we bought a can.
COCK
Yes, if you want some COCK you can get it at Superstore - and not just by seducing the stock-boys. It's a big clear bottle with it's name in a big, 100 point font on the front. You might not want it though - it's emulsified fish. I have no idea what you would use this for, though I suppose you could deep fry with it. Cock-fried chicken in batter, yum!
Both Lisa and Carmen tell me that there is nothing worse than having a broken bottle of this stuff at your cash till - apparently it smells like a locker-room at the starfish gymnasium.
Clamato Rimmer
The thought of drinking Clamato juice (It's clams and tomatoes!) fills me with cold, pants-wetting, fear. I therefore don't even want to know what a Clamato Rimmer is. It's a powder, if that helps.
