Thanks. This is the type of realistic positivity what I was trying to explain in one of my posts.
I really really dislike the secret and the ideas it proposes.
But I really believe that positivity can help with some things - basically a logical breakdown and re-examination of a problem along with a collective problem solving mindset (which by necessity is usually positive in approach rather then negative) is the way to deal with most issues.
I have a hard time with our society's view that all sadness should be avoided. Though I think it's good for certian folks to use antidepressants to get over humps or to deal with chronic depression problems, because folks who are sad too often can need help to break out of the mental pathway has developed. But sometimes sad is a good thing - especially when dealing with grief and loss. I often think that the medical profession is a bit too ready to throw medicine rather then time and talking at the problem.
One of the things I liked about my therapist was that she taught cognitive therapy and also explained why it worked (I suspect she knew I wasn't going to buy it without this). She drew a distinction between what cognitive therapy could and could not do. for example, I could use it 100% effectively and I still might not get a date - at the end of the day the only change I could affect was on myself.
So true. There is some really cool genetic (actually what's called epigenetic research) into how what we think affects us... so there is starting to be some hard science biological evidence that explains why cognitive therapy works.
Cognitive therapy can be really hard because it takes a lot of time and work to rewire the direction your thoughts go but eventually you start to be very aware of when you are treading a pathway to sadness and you can go that way if you need to but you can also turn around and come back and use a mentally less exhausting (more positive) path. I've also found that actively working at choosing the direction/mood I think in has increased my ability to see (and sometimes suggest) other approaches - because you become sensitive to a variety of modes of thinking. It's hard to explain very well - because I don't have the training in psychology or any other field that has a vocabulary for it.
For me sometimes it's hard to bite my tongue and not say things to friends who inist on trying to change others.
This is what bugs me about people and our culture. I have to be happy about everything that is happening all the time, genuinely happy, not just putting on a happy face.
Case in point, At work the last year we have been so insanely busy do to more people using the library because they can't afford things anymore. Then they cut our hours and our staff, so now we are even more busy than insanely busy. So much so that I am completely burned out and have no energy to get through the work day on some days and certainly no extra energy to do things outside of work, even on my days off. and people look at me and smile and say "That's great! at least you're busy, It helps the day go faster."
WTF - What part about completely exhausted, no energy, etc, did you not understand? This is hurting my health! My doctor even said so and I should be..."Happy" about harming my health? Really? WTF?
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no subject
Date: 2010-08-03 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-04 03:24 am (UTC)Thanks. This is the type of realistic positivity what I was trying to explain in one of my posts.
I really really dislike the secret and the ideas it proposes.
But I really believe that positivity can help with some things - basically a logical breakdown and re-examination of a problem along with a collective problem solving mindset (which by necessity is usually positive in approach rather then negative) is the way to deal with most issues.
I have a hard time with our society's view that all sadness should be avoided. Though I think it's good for certian folks to use antidepressants to get over humps or to deal with chronic depression problems, because folks who are sad too often can need help to break out of the mental pathway has developed. But sometimes sad is a good thing - especially when dealing with grief and loss. I often think that the medical profession is a bit too ready to throw medicine rather then time and talking at the problem.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-04 04:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-04 05:25 am (UTC)Cognitive therapy can be really hard because it takes a lot of time and work to rewire the direction your thoughts go but eventually you start to be very aware of when you are treading a pathway to sadness and you can go that way if you need to but you can also turn around and come back and use a mentally less exhausting (more positive) path. I've also found that actively working at choosing the direction/mood I think in has increased my ability to see (and sometimes suggest) other approaches - because you become sensitive to a variety of modes of thinking. It's hard to explain very well - because I don't have the training in psychology or any other field that has a vocabulary for it.
For me sometimes it's hard to bite my tongue and not say things to friends who inist on trying to change others.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-04 01:21 pm (UTC)Case in point, At work the last year we have been so insanely busy do to more people using the library because they can't afford things anymore. Then they cut our hours and our staff, so now we are even more busy than insanely busy. So much so that I am completely burned out and have no energy to get through the work day on some days and certainly no extra energy to do things outside of work, even on my days off. and people look at me and smile and say "That's great! at least you're busy, It helps the day go faster."
WTF - What part about completely exhausted, no energy, etc, did you not understand? This is hurting my health! My doctor even said so and I should be..."Happy" about harming my health? Really? WTF?