The Creep Threshold
Jan. 16th, 2005 02:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jamesqI've mentioned the Creep Threshold (CT) a few times. Now I suppose I have to explain it.
The CT is that moment when you're with a woman and you say or do something that gives her the creeps. It is also the precise moment when you have lost any chance you will ever have of becoming romantic with her (whether romance was on your mind or not).
It doesn't mean they won't be friends with you (though you are starting from a deficit in this case because women don't often want to be friends with someone whose passed the CT), even close friends. But they will never ever sleep with you. They also will never recommend you to their friends.
"But women date creeps all the time". Yes, but they started sleeping with them before they passed the CT. By that point they can't mentally tell themselves that they'd never sleep with them because they already have. They must now deal with the guy in a more three-dimensional way. Is he really a creep, or was it an inadvertent, one time thing. Is the thing that triggered CT something I can live with. Am I a forgiving person. After the sex it's no longer in the category of social triage that the CT can affect.
Now I have true friends for whom I've passed the CT. Doesn't stop the friendship. We can have heart to heart talks and even love each other in a platonic way, but I know deep in my heart that no matter what else happens, they will never ever be romantic with me.
On the other side of the equation, I have had romantic relationships. Not many, but they have happened. I'm happy to say that the CT was never a factor in our breaking up. I've also asked people out who turned me down for reasons having nothing to do with CT. So I don't want to hold CT up as the sole reason for my social problems. It's just something I've observed that seems to be a truism.
The CT is that moment when you're with a woman and you say or do something that gives her the creeps. It is also the precise moment when you have lost any chance you will ever have of becoming romantic with her (whether romance was on your mind or not).
It doesn't mean they won't be friends with you (though you are starting from a deficit in this case because women don't often want to be friends with someone whose passed the CT), even close friends. But they will never ever sleep with you. They also will never recommend you to their friends.
"But women date creeps all the time". Yes, but they started sleeping with them before they passed the CT. By that point they can't mentally tell themselves that they'd never sleep with them because they already have. They must now deal with the guy in a more three-dimensional way. Is he really a creep, or was it an inadvertent, one time thing. Is the thing that triggered CT something I can live with. Am I a forgiving person. After the sex it's no longer in the category of social triage that the CT can affect.
Now I have true friends for whom I've passed the CT. Doesn't stop the friendship. We can have heart to heart talks and even love each other in a platonic way, but I know deep in my heart that no matter what else happens, they will never ever be romantic with me.
On the other side of the equation, I have had romantic relationships. Not many, but they have happened. I'm happy to say that the CT was never a factor in our breaking up. I've also asked people out who turned me down for reasons having nothing to do with CT. So I don't want to hold CT up as the sole reason for my social problems. It's just something I've observed that seems to be a truism.
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Date: 2005-01-17 07:23 am (UTC)