Chad's Funeral.

[jamesq]

The thing that struck me the most at the service was how many people there were. About half of the people I recognized. Of those half, half again were people who (to me) had an obvious connection to Chad. "Of course they'd be here. I'd be surprised if they weren't", I'd think. The remainder had me thinking "What are they doing here? I had no idea they knew Chad?"

Going to the service was literally a last minute thing for me. Writing about him this morning reminded me of my parent's funerals. Two of my coworkers went to the service. One of them had met my parents exactly once and the other not at all. But still they came and I was glad they did - they came to support me. It was then that I realized that the fact that I hardly knew Chad was no reason not to go. I should go for the living friends I do know.

After the service, there was the requisite mingle in the lobby. This led to numerous observations and dark humour. After one choice comment that would cause mundanes to burst into flames if they heard us, the following was exchanged.

"We're a bunch of sick fucks, talking about this at a funeral"
"It's Chad's funeral - if you think that was the only blasphemous thing said right now, in this room, you're not paying attention"

Funerals really are for the living. I know that's a cliche of sorts, but thinking about it i've come to a realization of why the cliche is true.

Support is the most obvious reason, but I think an overlooked reason is this: It gives people an excuse to reconnect. You have to show up, and you have to play nice. There might be someone there that you don't want to see, or you're on the outs with. A funeral puts those petty disagreements into perspective. Life is just too damn short to hold grudges. You're there. They're there. Say hello. Don't wait until the next funeral to see them again - you or they just might be the guest of honour.

Comments

[conejita-diabla.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry I didn't come over and say hi...it was just starting to get overwhelming in there. There are times when being such an energy sponge can really be a disadvantage. :-(

[mavmaw.livejournal.com]

Very well said, I couldn't agree more. It was part of the reason I wanted to get into the funeral profession, to console the living and be supportive through a time where their lives are falling apart around them.

Thanks and hugs.. saw you there but didn't get a chance to say hi...