Cosplay and the Male Gaze

A friend and I are wandering around the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo when the following exchange happens:

"There are some awfully nice looking women here."
"Yeah, I'm torn between admiring and trying not to be so male-gaze-y."
"Amen, brother."

Probably not the correct term when what we really meant was not being that creepy guy who just gawks at women, making them uncomfortable.

"You ever wish you'd never learned about privilege? It would make life so much simpler."
"Do you really wish that? It would mean you were a worse person, even if you felt better about yourself."
"No. I guess if I had to choose between felling-bad-but-being-better, and feeling-good-but-being-bad, I'll pick the former."