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On Armour, Physical and Mental
Jul. 26th, 2012 06:23 pmI was authorized for SCA heavy fighting in 2009. In that time I've gone to one practice and participated in one scenario requiring the use of armour (Estrella's Quick and the Dead combat archery duel competition). I was in largely borrowed armour.
I learned a couple of not terribly complimentary things:
Now anxiety (and here I'm talking about the sort of crippling social anxiety that's plagued me my whole life) isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's fear basically, and fear is often something you need to face down. If I faced down my fear of asking women out more often, my life would likely be significantly better (or not, the sample size is small, but I'm still 0.000 for getting a date on those occasions where I've asked).
But not all fear is indicative of something that needs facing down. It's perfectly reasonable to be afraid of large predators (if the confrontation were likely), but I don't think my life would be improved by seeking out a mama grizzly bear so I could stand between her and her cub while yelling "You want a piece of me".
Ultimately it's a cost benefit analysis. Do I think I'll get something positive out of this activity - and would that outweigh the effort?
Benefits of SCA heavy fighting:
Drawbacks to SCA heavy fighting:
I'm sure my second point about the significant minority will be contentious. Let's just say that the sort of people who bullied me in school have found a home in SCA heavy fighting. It doesn't mean all heavy fighters are like that (most aren't). Nor does it mean that those people are engaging in bullying now (though I've seen it). However, long experience means I know the type when I encounter them. I'm a big boy, I can handle difficult people. But do I want to hang out with them?
Slightly related to this, there are heavy fighters who believe that heavy fighting should have a privileged position in the SCA. This is politically incorrect, so you generally need to get a few drinks into them before it becomes obvious. While this knowledge doesn't affect my reasoning strongly, I do acknowledge that it's there. It's a negative pressure, making me want to not do heavy fighting because it validates them.
I'm human, not every reason is rational.
All this could simply be over-analyzing. It's been in the back of my mind for a long time now with me bouncing between the extremes of just do it and admit that you're not going to do it. An SCA swap-meet yesterday forced my hand.
Being a very strong INTP, I have a very good intuition that I paradoxically hate relying on. Yesterday I did. I made the snap judgement to give it all up counting on the shakeup to clear the dross from my mind on this topic. Jumping into an idea can clarify your feelings - if you feel relief, it was a good idea; if you feel regret, it was probably a bad idea. It helps that this is the sort of idea that can be corrected if I got it wrong. So how did it go?
First, getting rid of my armour simply felt right, like a burden had been lifted. Second, I was reminded about my last major attempt to fit in with the cool kids back in high school:
I was on my Alma Mater's junior football team. New to high school, I was voluntold to come out for the team by a coach who saw that I was bigger then most of the other kids. And I gave it the old college try. I stuck around for the whole season, I went out for practices, I tried to get be friendly with my teammates. Nope, I was still a nerd and they were still jocks. I got picked on my whole time there and about the only thing it accomplished was the bullies knew my name in the subsequent years, whereas if I wasn't on the team that first year, I'd have just been "that guy".
Aside: I had four plays in one game the whole season. It was the one thing in my school career that my father was proud of until I got my post-secondary degree. *I* was glad I stuck out the whole season, but wild dogs couldn't have dragged me back as a sophomore.
Giving up heavy fighting reminded me of all this. Looking back, the only reason I was interested in it was peer-pressure. Like high school football, this was an attempt to fit in with the cool kids and that's a piss-poor reason to do anything.
I suspect everyone came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to do it long before I admitted it to myself. Certainly when I brought everything out there were no statements along the lines of "Are you sure you want to get rid of this". Nope, it was all "Getting rid of your blunts? How much are they?"
In conclusion, I have nothing against heavy fighting. To use the cliche, some of my best friends are heavy fighters. It's exciting to watch and I freely acknowledge that they're having a great time. It's just not for me.
I learned a couple of not terribly complimentary things:
- I don't like being used as a pell.
- I see red when I get hit in the face.
- When it comes to contact sports, I'm a sore loser.
Now anxiety (and here I'm talking about the sort of crippling social anxiety that's plagued me my whole life) isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's fear basically, and fear is often something you need to face down. If I faced down my fear of asking women out more often, my life would likely be significantly better (or not, the sample size is small, but I'm still 0.000 for getting a date on those occasions where I've asked).
But not all fear is indicative of something that needs facing down. It's perfectly reasonable to be afraid of large predators (if the confrontation were likely), but I don't think my life would be improved by seeking out a mama grizzly bear so I could stand between her and her cub while yelling "You want a piece of me".
Ultimately it's a cost benefit analysis. Do I think I'll get something positive out of this activity - and would that outweigh the effort?
Benefits of SCA heavy fighting:
- It's a martial art. Martial arts in general provide a host of related benefits to most people - things like self-defense skills and confidence.
- additional social connections within the SCA.
- Fitness. I'd certainly increase my shoulder and arm strength if I practiced regularly.
- Fun. Despite looking like they've been taken through the wringer, fighters coming off the field look like they're having a grand time.
- No-Shit-There-I-Was stories.
Drawbacks to SCA heavy fighting:
- It's very damaging. There's a reason why there's a constant one-upmanship with regards to visible bruising; it's because people get hurt - a lot.
- A significant minority of the participants are people I'd rather not get to know.
- There's a significant buy in cost before you know if you like it.
I'm sure my second point about the significant minority will be contentious. Let's just say that the sort of people who bullied me in school have found a home in SCA heavy fighting. It doesn't mean all heavy fighters are like that (most aren't). Nor does it mean that those people are engaging in bullying now (though I've seen it). However, long experience means I know the type when I encounter them. I'm a big boy, I can handle difficult people. But do I want to hang out with them?
Slightly related to this, there are heavy fighters who believe that heavy fighting should have a privileged position in the SCA. This is politically incorrect, so you generally need to get a few drinks into them before it becomes obvious. While this knowledge doesn't affect my reasoning strongly, I do acknowledge that it's there. It's a negative pressure, making me want to not do heavy fighting because it validates them.
I'm human, not every reason is rational.
All this could simply be over-analyzing. It's been in the back of my mind for a long time now with me bouncing between the extremes of just do it and admit that you're not going to do it. An SCA swap-meet yesterday forced my hand.
Being a very strong INTP, I have a very good intuition that I paradoxically hate relying on. Yesterday I did. I made the snap judgement to give it all up counting on the shakeup to clear the dross from my mind on this topic. Jumping into an idea can clarify your feelings - if you feel relief, it was a good idea; if you feel regret, it was probably a bad idea. It helps that this is the sort of idea that can be corrected if I got it wrong. So how did it go?
First, getting rid of my armour simply felt right, like a burden had been lifted. Second, I was reminded about my last major attempt to fit in with the cool kids back in high school:
I was on my Alma Mater's junior football team. New to high school, I was voluntold to come out for the team by a coach who saw that I was bigger then most of the other kids. And I gave it the old college try. I stuck around for the whole season, I went out for practices, I tried to get be friendly with my teammates. Nope, I was still a nerd and they were still jocks. I got picked on my whole time there and about the only thing it accomplished was the bullies knew my name in the subsequent years, whereas if I wasn't on the team that first year, I'd have just been "that guy".
Aside: I had four plays in one game the whole season. It was the one thing in my school career that my father was proud of until I got my post-secondary degree. *I* was glad I stuck out the whole season, but wild dogs couldn't have dragged me back as a sophomore.
Giving up heavy fighting reminded me of all this. Looking back, the only reason I was interested in it was peer-pressure. Like high school football, this was an attempt to fit in with the cool kids and that's a piss-poor reason to do anything.
I suspect everyone came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to do it long before I admitted it to myself. Certainly when I brought everything out there were no statements along the lines of "Are you sure you want to get rid of this". Nope, it was all "Getting rid of your blunts? How much are they?"
In conclusion, I have nothing against heavy fighting. To use the cliche, some of my best friends are heavy fighters. It's exciting to watch and I freely acknowledge that they're having a great time. It's just not for me.
