The Valhalla Proposal

The popular description of Valhalla (the afterlife for worthy Norse warriors) is a place where the you fight all day, party all night, and there are no consequences - it's all for fun. Does this sound familiar? I think we should stop calling them SCA wars and start calling them Valhallas. Estrella Valhalla, Gulf Valhallas, An Tir - West Valhalla.

An SCA event would look quite a bit like heaven to an actual medieval Norse. Think of it - plenty of fighting, free booze, varieties of food and treasure beyond imagining, lots of opportunity to boast. The only thing that would really get in the way would be be the existence of marshals and modern notions of equality.

Perhaps all of us SCAdians are in Valhalla now and just don't realize it. Ragnarok could be coming.

Tales From Estrella: Hello Ladies

A bunch of us are chatting on the path between the two pieces of The Outlands party. The south bit was where you went to get bacon and the north part was where you went to get booze. They sensibly didn't put the booze and bacon together, because that would have caused collisions.

As it was, there were collisions, but these were caused by intentional douche-baggery.

Anyway, we were standing around chatting and some of us were trying to decide if we'd had enough carousing for the night. From behind us we here someone yelling "Make way! Make way for my lady!" I (and a bunch of other surprised people) are strong-armed aside so that this guy can make a clear path for his girlfriend, who doesn't seem to be aware of just how much force this guy is using. It's like he's a guy who's been to a handful of events showing the ropes to someone who's at her first event and is just seeing the surface of the SCA but gets none of the heart and soul of it.

As he pushes past me, he comes up to our Prince, who is now aware of what the guy is doing and decides he's had enough of it. Another Prince might have just given this guy a shake and told him to knock it off. Prince KK is a step above that.

KK subtly braces himself so when Douchy McBoyfriend tries to push past him he's actually deflected past him while KK stands like a chunk of granite. Douchy turns but KK is not facing him at all, he's already focused on the girlfriend. He turns on a 1000 watt smile and his voice drops an octave as he takes her hand and kisses it.

"Hello milady, please allow me to introduce myself - I'm KK, Prince of Avacal. And you are?"

She tells him her name, giggling at the attention.

"Well may I say that you are a vision of loveliness." He then goes on to flirt with her another few minutes while she blushes from the attention, no doubt concluding that this whole medieval-reenactment thing is nine kinds of awesome. Not even the Old-Spice guy could have handled the episode better.

Douchy McBoyfriend, upon hearing the words "I'm Prince" just let's it happen. He knows enough not to mess with a guy who got to his position by being an expert martial artist. The girlfriend returns to Douchy - the narrative for his night now irrevocably altered from a story where he gets laid to one where his girlfriend thinks Knights are dreamy. It could have been worse, but KK is a happily married man. Note: KK is not a knight yet, but I doubt she'd know that.