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Today feels like the beginning of a long hard journey. I've got a lot on my mind right now and the urge to just say "fuck it" is high. I won't do this though because quitting is an express train straight into depression. Here's the state of the James Nation:
Got back from a Rhuddglyn event that was a lot of fun. I won an archery tournament and flirted briefly with a cute girl whose name I can't remember. Gah! The food was awesome too. If 12th Night's meal is half as well received, I'll be a happy event steward.
The ride down was good because I got to just talk with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thekillerb69, which I rarely get to do because we're usually in a group. Came back with minyata and falashad and got to play sing-along for most of the trip! I love traveling with singers!
Bought Rock Band Beatles and a pair of extra microphones. Now to get a bunch of people over to play through the game. I've already done this once over atthekillerb69 and naughtynat07's place, so for me this is all about the socializing and downloadable content.
Went back to Weight Watchers after two weeks of absence. I'm up about five pounds, which sucks big time. My weight is separating me from so much that I want, I really need to buckle down and lose it. It's so hard when the demons are always there to thwart me: "You know you're not going to really lose that weight right? So why not have a candy bar now - it's still better then the sex you're pretending you're going to get in two years time."
Love, sex, confidence, acceptance. Like air, they're not even worth commenting on if you're getting enough. Also like air, it becomes the center of your attention when you're not. I just hope I get some fraction of that if I ever succeed. The only thing that keeps me coming back is the certain knowledge that ignoring the problem isn't going to solve it.
I just lost $17K in a bad investment. Or rather, I lost it about a year ago and only became aware of that fact recently. My finances are still good - it all vanished from long term savings, so it doesn't materially affect me now. It might mean the difference between eating the regular and the premium cat food when I'm elderly though. Meh, it was expected, so I have no one to blame but myself.
There hasn't been any running for two weeks or so (since I got sick). I miss it so and intend to start again tomorrow (it would have been today but I neglected to set my alarm). At this point there is zero chance that I'll be prepared for the Royal Victoria 1/2 Marathon in October - I'll be at a point where I can run non-stop for 10 km and a half-marathon is a little over twice that. This won't stop me from attempting it mind you. My mule-like stubbornness won't let me take a break for anything short of a severe injury or swine flu. I'll look decidedly mule-like when I cross the finish line after running for 130+ minutes. Specifically, I'll look like a rented mule because I'll be beat.
I'm committed to running two events in the next five months. The first is the Baronial confidence polling, which is very important, so I don't want to fuck it up. The second is 12th Night, which is very important and has a large attendance, so I don't want to fuck it up. As 12th Night is also Montengarde's 30th anniversary, we want it to be really special. And already there's drama. Shoot me.
On top of all that, the house is looking worse and worse. I need to:
Got back from a Rhuddglyn event that was a lot of fun. I won an archery tournament and flirted briefly with a cute girl whose name I can't remember. Gah! The food was awesome too. If 12th Night's meal is half as well received, I'll be a happy event steward.
The ride down was good because I got to just talk with
thekillerb69, which I rarely get to do because we're usually in a group. Came back with minyata and falashad and got to play sing-along for most of the trip! I love traveling with singers!Bought Rock Band Beatles and a pair of extra microphones. Now to get a bunch of people over to play through the game. I've already done this once over at
thekillerb69 and naughtynat07's place, so for me this is all about the socializing and downloadable content.Went back to Weight Watchers after two weeks of absence. I'm up about five pounds, which sucks big time. My weight is separating me from so much that I want, I really need to buckle down and lose it. It's so hard when the demons are always there to thwart me: "You know you're not going to really lose that weight right? So why not have a candy bar now - it's still better then the sex you're pretending you're going to get in two years time."
Love, sex, confidence, acceptance. Like air, they're not even worth commenting on if you're getting enough. Also like air, it becomes the center of your attention when you're not. I just hope I get some fraction of that if I ever succeed. The only thing that keeps me coming back is the certain knowledge that ignoring the problem isn't going to solve it.
I just lost $17K in a bad investment. Or rather, I lost it about a year ago and only became aware of that fact recently. My finances are still good - it all vanished from long term savings, so it doesn't materially affect me now. It might mean the difference between eating the regular and the premium cat food when I'm elderly though. Meh, it was expected, so I have no one to blame but myself.
There hasn't been any running for two weeks or so (since I got sick). I miss it so and intend to start again tomorrow (it would have been today but I neglected to set my alarm). At this point there is zero chance that I'll be prepared for the Royal Victoria 1/2 Marathon in October - I'll be at a point where I can run non-stop for 10 km and a half-marathon is a little over twice that. This won't stop me from attempting it mind you. My mule-like stubbornness won't let me take a break for anything short of a severe injury or swine flu. I'll look decidedly mule-like when I cross the finish line after running for 130+ minutes. Specifically, I'll look like a rented mule because I'll be beat.
I'm committed to running two events in the next five months. The first is the Baronial confidence polling, which is very important, so I don't want to fuck it up. The second is 12th Night, which is very important and has a large attendance, so I don't want to fuck it up. As 12th Night is also Montengarde's 30th anniversary, we want it to be really special. And already there's drama. Shoot me.
On top of all that, the house is looking worse and worse. I need to:
- Clean up the garage so I can start some projects.
- Clean out the laundry room so that it's not primarily a "get the junk out of sight by throwing it here" area.
- Fix the rotting closet or hire someone to do it for me. I feel like it's something I should be able to do myself, but I've never done anything like it before, so I'm anxious as hell about it.
- clean/vacuum my bedroom and the stairwell.
