Drunkiness and the Meaning of Life

I'm drunk. I'm listening to TED talks. I've just finished watching Life on Mars.

I'm in a weird little zone between happy and melancholy. It's odd. I should be one or the other, but I find myself drifting slowly between them.

On the one hand, I'm happy in my solitude. But then I think about being with someone. It would be nice to have someone to cuddle with right now. It's not to be though.

Conversely, I ran today and I had a pleasant afternoon eating food down at Eau Claire. I watched a cool show this week. I did several good deeds this week. I leveraged small efforts on my part into huge changes for my friends. This pleases me.

Continuing the happy/melancholy feeling I think my fate is to simply make my friend's lives better at the expense of my own. Which is not to say that I'm sacrificing anything, only that personal happiness is not my fate and I must always experience happiness second hand, through helping those around me.

Is that good enough? It's good enough I guess.'

I'm not too coherent now, hopefully I make some kind of sense. I'm off to bed now. Sweet dreams everyone.