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Feb. 25th, 2009
Musing on a Popular Meme
Feb. 25th, 2009 10:06 pmBe advised that I'm a wee bit tipsy. Oh Rickard's Honey Brown Ale, how did I not know you were as good as Rickard's White? I'd better wait until I've finished writing this before having another, or it'll end up with me declaring my undying love for Estrella hotties and discussing Neo-con robber-baron policies and why they've collapsed the global economy.
Anyway, the pebble that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sagaciouslu threw off the mountaintop had quickly grown into an avalanche. This does not surprise me. You can find my iteration of it here.
First, the meme was started (in the local cohort) by Badger, and he's a popular erudite fellow, so it gained a lot of initial responses. Probably more then he anticipated. Sorry dude, You've still got a lot of work ahead of you. If it's any consolation, it was because the idea of you doing a participatory meme is rare and special.
Second, it promises something we all want, compliments. To request a response is to say "tell me something you like about me" in a way that's socially acceptable. Normally fishing for compliments isn't.
The only thing that's preventing it from becoming even more popular then it is, is that it requires you to do three things:
Of course, we want to connect with people. We want to strengthen the social bonds that we all share. That's what makes gives this meme (any meme really) traction.
Personally, I'm always curious about the results of these memes, or rather the fact that my own expectations (with regards to myself) are so clearly at odds with my self-image.
Obviously, I wouldn't be fishing for compliments if I didn't think I deserved compliments at all. However the types of compliments I get are often for things I'm convinced I'm no good at. That is to say, I was expecting that people would tell me I'm smart. I wasn't expecting people to tell me I'm charming. Sometimes the compliments are for things I've done, but I don't think I deserve a moral credit for (Not sure if that's the right term, but I'm drinking).
For example, Let's say you saw someone frantically digging a fire break around their house to save it from an approaching fire. The next day, once the fire had passed you see your friend and compliment him on his work ethic, working such long hours digging. Does he really have a strong work ethic, or was he just in extreme peril? Would he normally do any of those things.
That's how I view a lot of these things. Circumstance forced me to do them. In another person they might be considered a virtue, but they sure don't seem like it from this side of the brain. Stupid brain. So I get complimented for, say coping with my parents' death. It's not like I had a choice in the matter. If I didn't cope I'd be, dead I guess, or in the looney bin.
A common thread for challenges in the meme was to go easier on myself. Internally this seems odd and counter-productive, not to mention nigh-impossible. How can you do these things and mean it? When I try, there's always some part of me monitoring it that says "you know you're only faking it right?".
OTOH, one of the things I learned in Cognitive Therapy is that you can train the brain to do exactly that. People in Alcoholics Anonymous even have a term for it: Fake it 'til you make it. It can work, but requires a lot of hard work and repetition. Sometimes I even have the stamina to attempt it. Guess I'd better get on that.
If one person calls you a horse, that's just mean. Two people call you a horse, it's just a rumour being spread. Three people? Time to start pricing saddles. I saw a few trends that indicates that some of us need to buy saddles. I need to stop being so negative about myself.conejita_diabla needs to stop over-thinking things. wild_wanderer needs to clean. They're all fair cops.
Do I have a point? Hard to say at this point since I've had a second drink now and my train of thought keeps derailing. I think it's really that our internal view of ourselves is sometimes vastly different from the outside view. Being currently happy I'll just say that others are probably right about me and I need to stop listening to my brain. I'll probably dig my heels in again when I'm sober though.
The other point is that this is a very good meme because it strengthens the social bonds that keep us sane. We no longer have a community in the old sense - the internet makes up a major portion of our socializing for good or ill. It might not involve as much closeness as grooming each other for nits, but memes do provide an important means of keeping us close to each other.
Anyway, the pebble that
sagaciouslu threw off the mountaintop had quickly grown into an avalanche. This does not surprise me. You can find my iteration of it here.First, the meme was started (in the local cohort) by Badger, and he's a popular erudite fellow, so it gained a lot of initial responses. Probably more then he anticipated. Sorry dude, You've still got a lot of work ahead of you. If it's any consolation, it was because the idea of you doing a participatory meme is rare and special.
Second, it promises something we all want, compliments. To request a response is to say "tell me something you like about me" in a way that's socially acceptable. Normally fishing for compliments isn't.
The only thing that's preventing it from becoming even more popular then it is, is that it requires you to do three things:
- Post the meme. Notably several people haven't. I have no problem with this because not everyone is comfortable with all aspects of the meme and really, it's just a game.
- You have to accept an unknown challenge.
- You have to answer a question.
Of course, we want to connect with people. We want to strengthen the social bonds that we all share. That's what makes gives this meme (any meme really) traction.
Personally, I'm always curious about the results of these memes, or rather the fact that my own expectations (with regards to myself) are so clearly at odds with my self-image.
Obviously, I wouldn't be fishing for compliments if I didn't think I deserved compliments at all. However the types of compliments I get are often for things I'm convinced I'm no good at. That is to say, I was expecting that people would tell me I'm smart. I wasn't expecting people to tell me I'm charming. Sometimes the compliments are for things I've done, but I don't think I deserve a moral credit for (Not sure if that's the right term, but I'm drinking).
For example, Let's say you saw someone frantically digging a fire break around their house to save it from an approaching fire. The next day, once the fire had passed you see your friend and compliment him on his work ethic, working such long hours digging. Does he really have a strong work ethic, or was he just in extreme peril? Would he normally do any of those things.
That's how I view a lot of these things. Circumstance forced me to do them. In another person they might be considered a virtue, but they sure don't seem like it from this side of the brain. Stupid brain. So I get complimented for, say coping with my parents' death. It's not like I had a choice in the matter. If I didn't cope I'd be, dead I guess, or in the looney bin.
A common thread for challenges in the meme was to go easier on myself. Internally this seems odd and counter-productive, not to mention nigh-impossible. How can you do these things and mean it? When I try, there's always some part of me monitoring it that says "you know you're only faking it right?".
OTOH, one of the things I learned in Cognitive Therapy is that you can train the brain to do exactly that. People in Alcoholics Anonymous even have a term for it: Fake it 'til you make it. It can work, but requires a lot of hard work and repetition. Sometimes I even have the stamina to attempt it. Guess I'd better get on that.
If one person calls you a horse, that's just mean. Two people call you a horse, it's just a rumour being spread. Three people? Time to start pricing saddles. I saw a few trends that indicates that some of us need to buy saddles. I need to stop being so negative about myself.
conejita_diabla needs to stop over-thinking things. wild_wanderer needs to clean. They're all fair cops.Do I have a point? Hard to say at this point since I've had a second drink now and my train of thought keeps derailing. I think it's really that our internal view of ourselves is sometimes vastly different from the outside view. Being currently happy I'll just say that others are probably right about me and I need to stop listening to my brain. I'll probably dig my heels in again when I'm sober though.
The other point is that this is a very good meme because it strengthens the social bonds that keep us sane. We no longer have a community in the old sense - the internet makes up a major portion of our socializing for good or ill. It might not involve as much closeness as grooming each other for nits, but memes do provide an important means of keeping us close to each other.
