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Feb. 20th, 2008
Last Minute Reprieve
Feb. 20th, 2008 11:43 pmI was all prepared to drop an atomic bomb today. It was armed and ready, the cover was off the button and my finger was poised over it.
Then at very nearly the last possible minute, I find out that a truce has been negotiated.
Now, hours later, I feel nothing but relief. At the time I felt strangely hollow. I had spent days before filling myself with resolve. Steeling myself against the near-constant anxiety attacks I was having. My sleep and my work had suffered for days because of this and now it was all yanked out from beneath me.
I wasn't looking forward to what I had to do you understand, but I was prepared. I had my little speech all written and I was going to put my self on the line. It could have very well meant the end of my time in the SCA. I was literally expecting banishment or worse.
Thank heavens for JW. Without her last minute negotiating, it would have happened.
I've learned a few important lessons from all this:
1) It really is just a game. Take it seriously for the people around you but remember that you always have the option of walking away if it becomes a misery. Your real friends will stick by you even if you're no longer dressed in a funny costume.
2) Sometimes a person you've thought the worst of will surprise you. I doubt that he and I will ever be friends, but we can at least be civil.
3) Always sleep on the first draft of your email. Don't hit the "send" button angry. Thankfully this was a lesson I learned prior to a mistake, rather then after.
And now, sweet sweet relief.
Then at very nearly the last possible minute, I find out that a truce has been negotiated.
Now, hours later, I feel nothing but relief. At the time I felt strangely hollow. I had spent days before filling myself with resolve. Steeling myself against the near-constant anxiety attacks I was having. My sleep and my work had suffered for days because of this and now it was all yanked out from beneath me.
I wasn't looking forward to what I had to do you understand, but I was prepared. I had my little speech all written and I was going to put my self on the line. It could have very well meant the end of my time in the SCA. I was literally expecting banishment or worse.
Thank heavens for JW. Without her last minute negotiating, it would have happened.
I've learned a few important lessons from all this:
1) It really is just a game. Take it seriously for the people around you but remember that you always have the option of walking away if it becomes a misery. Your real friends will stick by you even if you're no longer dressed in a funny costume.
2) Sometimes a person you've thought the worst of will surprise you. I doubt that he and I will ever be friends, but we can at least be civil.
3) Always sleep on the first draft of your email. Don't hit the "send" button angry. Thankfully this was a lesson I learned prior to a mistake, rather then after.
And now, sweet sweet relief.
