Liar Liar Pants on Fire

My new pants aren't precisely on fire, but they are lying bastards.

I thought "it's time to see if I've dropped a pants size", so when I was at Costco today (I saw you canadianknight, but you were busy shilling the super-duper memberships, so I didn't want to interrupt you) I picked up a pair of 34x34 Calvin Klein jeans.

I just tried them on and the damn things fit perfectly. How is that a bad thing? Well they fit exactly as well as the 36x34 jeans that I was wearing earlier today. Had I dropped a pants size and not realized it? Nope, I compared the waistlines of both jeans side by side and they're identical. Hell, if anything the allegedly smaller sized jeans are a few millimeters wider then the jeans I've been wearing for months.

God-dammit, size deflation is supposed to be something that happens to women not men. I mean women's sizes don't actually have real-world equivalents - a size six dress is what exactly? What six things does it measure? is it six inches wide? Six hand-spans long? Six furlongs of jogging to fit into it? And now they have zero sizes? Does that mean that the model's waist has gone into hyperspace? Is it infinitely smaller then a size one?

Now men's sizes are supposed to actually mean something. A 34x34 pair of pants means it has a 34 inch waist and a 34 inch long leg. 36 is not supposed to be the same as 34 - it should be two inches wider. Apparently not in Calvin Klein's world though, where they've discovered they can sell more pants by lying to people about how wide they are.

I knew I should have stuck with the Kirkland brand jeans.