Tales of an Internet Nomad (part sechs)

I made an attempt at the Grouse Grind that didn't actual come off. I got up early, caught the SeaBus over to Lonsdale Quay, caught the Grouse Mountain bus and made it to the base of the mountain in pretty good time. When I got off the bus I saw a woman and a mountie giving a press conference. Seems the woman's S.O. had disappeared a few days prior and all the evidence suggested that he disappeared on the mountain. Not the most auspicious omen.

Well I bought some water and a disposable camera, went through my stretching and started on the trail up. I got about a hundred meters up before I stopped. My back was starting to tighten up and if I could feel it this early it would be crippling by the top. It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I could hear what my body was telling me - I'm not going to start ignoring it now.

I turned around and started back down, still well within sight of the beginning of the trail. Along the way I passed the woman who was on the bus and ferry with me. She gave me a "you loser" look as I went by her. Feh, she wasn't going to be carrying me back down if I had a back spasm.

When I reached the clearing, I looked towards the top to see if it was worth taking the tram up. Unfortunately the summit was encased in thick clouds. There are only two reasons to go to the top of Grouse Mountain: the view and the trail. If neither was available to me, there was no point in spending the $30. I'll try again next time.

My last day night in Vancouver consisted of me becoming a drunken reproprate. This was at the ever-wonderful Ma's Clubhouse. Hung out with many in the Vancouver crowd and even ran into Lou, though a stratigically placed wall did thwart our efforts to meet for several minutes. I like chatting with Lou and I'm sorry to say that I don't get enough opportunities to do so. Lou lives somewhere near Burnaby Mountain, and damn near everyone else I know lives in Kitsilano. Hooking up is therefore difficult. Worth the effort though.

I've already written about my alcoholic observations. Drinking, it might not be a silly fad after all.

We went to Theatre Sports afterwards and it was just about the funniest I've ever seen. They even used one of my suggestions! We did have a bit of serendipity though. We got to the show and Ryan and I went to buy the tickets (while somejauntypolka and whiggy_one parked the van). It was sadly sold out. Why? Because some big-ass student group came in and bought all the tickets. Then half their group didn't show up and they ended up giving the tickets away. So we saw two shows each for a grand total of $40. Sweet!

The next morning I actually got up at a resonable hour an attempted to go for a run. I was successful for all of a half an hour, then I bonked. For those of you who may have an alternate definition for bonking, in this context it means the physiological wall that athletes hit when their bodies quit. I usually bonk when my water or blood sugar is too low to run. I don't think that's the issue here as I had my usual water and banana prior to the run (a routine that has kept be from bonking for well over a year). I think my electrolytes were out of whack from drinking. That I managed to run for 30 minutes is a testament to the fact that I wasn't that drunk the night before. Plus I didn't wake up in a strange place (or with a strange person) with no memories of the interveining time. In fact my memory of the night before is quite clear. Aside from some inane chattering and the occasional attempt at dancing, I didn't embarass myself.

I packed my things and exited The Jolly Taxpayer (and I will be back, oh yes, possibly in early august). I walked over to Waterfront station, expecting it to be easy to get a cab. After ten minutes I noticed that all the cabs were going into the liner terminal two blocks west. Soon I was on a cab to visit chris9871.

As I would be starting my diet again soon, we opted to go to Memphis Blues for lunch. There the cashier pimped the pulled lamb sandwiches to us something fierce. We both opted for it and it was damn good. Less good was my clumsy self - as I was sitting down at our booth I managed to clobber my knee agains the bar that held the table up. The comedians at the next table thought this was quite funny. Sensing an audience, I used Mark's old line: I hit my self right in that part of the knee where you think "damn, I wish those were my balls". Nearly dying of laughter, the comedians beat a hasty retreat while I thumped on the table like a wrestler signally "uncle" on the ring mat.

After a few (thankfully short) moments the pain went away and then our sandwiches were ready. It was ambroisia! I was tempted to have pecan pie that I did not need, but one of the benefits of this diet is that I'm feeling full faster.

Well we had a few hours to kill so we went to fourth and Arbutus to do some window shopping, and then ended up taking Seven (somejauntypolka's dog) to Jericho beach for some pooping and fetching. I thought dogs smelled bad to start, but apparently mixing them with sea water makes it worse. She was one happy puppy though!

Off to the airport we went and soon I was up in the air in a half-full plane (giving me much elbow room). Leather seats and teeny televisions for all! I like the new WestJet planes.

Some random observations from the Soggy City By the Sea:

1) It wasn't that soggy - it only rained two out of seven days (compared to Cowtown which has been raining for the last week. Heh.

2) Saw the world's ugliest transvestite walking down Robson. At least I hope that's what she was - if it was an actual woman, the title would be world's ugliest woman mistaken for a man. What a horrible thought.

3) Another day on Robson there were a whole mess of people wearing orange garbage bags. I'm sure it was some sort of demonstration, but for what I do not know.

4) Speaking of demonstrations - I ran through an honest-to-goodness logging protest while jogging! I got to saw real-life tree huggers. I've heard about them for so long I was starting to think they were a myth. Really, what's the point of visiting Vancouver if you don't get to see tree huggers. We don't have them here in Cowtown.

5) Lots of same sex couples holding hands. It's nice to see that there's a place in this country where it doesn't cause red necks to foam at the mouth.

6) Almost got stuck in a fist fight (between two other guys) on the bus! The contenders where a labourer just this side of being homeless (but tough as nails) and a big asian hip-hopper. Thankfully they didn't actually go at it while I was sitting next to them.

I'm already looking forward to my next trip.