Happy President's Day Family Day

Welcome to Alberta, where we celebrate President's Day along with our corporate masters.

Belated Report Of Airdrie Goings On

W&R had a party this weekend, and I'd have to say it was the most fun I've ever had at one. About the only thing that could have improved it would be oral sex.

Some highlights:

One of Ryan's film school buddies came by and got a little loaded. So much so that people managed to convince him to take his shirt off. Ringleader in this regard was William Shieldbiter, a SCAdian of some repute. He encouraged the boy by taking his own shirt off first. Needless to say, Shieldbiter has no shame.

Me: Hey Shieldbiter, I dare you to take your pants off.
Ryan: NO, don't tell him that, He'll do whatever you tell him..
Bruce: Hey Shieldbiter, I bet you won't take Ryan's pants off.

We joke sometimes about how Wendy becomes a tart once you get a few drinks into her. It's just teasing really. Now Shieldbiter, he becomes a tart! And he wasn't the only one - I know of at least one guy (who was NOT Shieldbiter) who was getting close to be called out for being a little too touchy-feely with some of the womenfolk. I pointed out that the womenfolk were more than capable of saying "no" with sufficient force to get the point across.

As an aside, I have noticed a tendency amongst non-SCAdians to ape SCA openess and get in trouble because they don't see the subtle boundaries. I may even have been in this category myself in the not too distant past.

I think I may be giving the wrong impression about Shieldbiter. He actually is a genuinely nice guy, and his antics were not assholish in any way. He was teaching some of the girls how to belly dance (which he is good at), and later he was trying to feed everyone pudding.

Another one of Ryan's film school cohort got so loaded he ended up puking. This was the nadir of the party. I only mention this because two days later, Kermie and I went to see Sideways at the Uptown, and (unnoticed by me) he was the guy who sold us our tickets.

While the poor sick boy was being attended to in the washroom, Malabar taught the basics of rapier to his friends.

Did I mention there was a lot of drinking? Enough so that the girls were kissing (each other) and the boys were groping (the girls... and sometimes each other).

I discovered something very interesting while talking to Brian (who got along famously with everyone at the party) - he's been in town since the beginning of the month and he hasn't bothered to get in touch with the part of holt that ostracized me. Part of his reasoning was that he had received the infamous Fleabite letter. I'm astonished by this mostly because Fleabite and Brian have never met. Who sends an insane ranting email to someone they haven't met? Oh wait, this is the internet, where no behavior is so outlandish that you can't find like-minded souls.

Other Brian related goodness - him and Ian knew each other back in Edmonchuk way back in the day. Jenny was frustrated by this, I think because Jenny is like me, she's a little flummoxed by the fact that Ian is one of those guys whom everyone knows. It wasn't Brian per se as the fact that Ian can go anywhere and meet someone he knew from way back. My buddy Jason is like this - it got so bad that Kevin (a mutual friend) would hum the theme to "The King of Kensington" whenever they would walk down the halls of the University together.

So yeah, best Airdrie party ever. I was smiling for two days after just thinking about it. there is another on the Saturday after Saint Patrick's Day, and you can bet I'll be there.

Riley Park Hell Funnies, Part 4

I was reading customers_suck when I came across this tale of an attempted change-this-bill-for-me con.

I've had this attempted on me back in the dim past when I worked at RPS. Both times it was the same guy and it was within a week of each other. It was also only a $20 scam, not the $50 scam that arjei thwarted. The con was a little different in that once change was made, the fellow tried to change the type of change (from two tens, to four fives, and some of the fives into loonies. that sort of thing). the whole point of the exchange was to confuse the cashier as to how much money was floating around, then leave.

First, I was smarter than 95% of RPS' customers, so I twigged to what this guy was doing almost instantly. Second, and more importantly, he was drunk both times. I suspect this is why he made the second attempt, he could neither remember where he tried it the week before, nor that I had served him both times.

Both exchanges ended with a "you don't want to serve me because I'm an Indian" accusation, which I responded to with "I'd be more than happy to help you sir, I just want to make sure I don't inadvertently short change you".

I resolved to give him change for a ten (instead of a twenty) if he tried it again. What was he going to do, call the cops on me? Sadly he never came back.

Riley Park Hell Funnies, Part 5

The only other con job I remember didn't happen to me, but I heard about it on my very last shift.

For the last year that I was there, I worked only one shift a week (Saturday morning from 7-3, you only get light traffic, and the shift ends quick. Basically it was an excuse to get $50 a week for hardly any work.

As was my habit when opening the store, I would listen to the radio. The news came on and I heard the following report:

City police are telling people to be aware of a new scam. The con artist goes into gas stations with a lone teller and convinces them to give him all the money in the till because he is the station's new owner.

"Geez", I think, "how gullible can you get?"

A few hours later, Ray shows up to check on me.

"Have you been listening to the news" says Ray.

"Do you mean the con artist story? Man I would love it if that guy came in here, I would call bullshit instantly. I'd laugh in his face."

"I wish you were here last night then, it was our station that got scammed".

D'oh!