It's Official - I'm a Crank

[jamesq]

My Anti-Abortionists Hate Sex rant got published in today's Herald. Unfortunately, you need a web subscription to read the latter link. It is, however, pretty much identical to this version here (they only editted it to improve my grammar).

So I'm writing letters to the editor now. All that remains is for me to complain about kids on my lawn and my journey to crank-ville will be complete. Special thanks to ersatz_marduk and madeileen for getting me off my ass.

Let the irate letters from anti-abortion fuck-wads begin!

Comments

[freewaydiva.livejournal.com]

Your letter is brilliant. I've posted a link in my LJ, because the world (or, my limited LJ version of it) should be witness to such things.

(This is Tomyris, btw...if you didn't know that already)

[canadianknight.livejournal.com]

Excellent! Glad they published it! Lookin' forward to the irate idiotic replies. Damn.. guess I'll have to buy the paper for the next few days. ;)


CK

If you want the Herald...

[http://users.livejournal.com/-grog-/]

...stop by a city pool and pick up a copy.

The Herald's so desperate for circulation these days that they are leaving a rack of freebies in the lobby of Parks & Rec. facilities.

[ladyerwyn.livejournal.com]

Sweetness!!!!

Welcome to Cranks International!

[nikitaa.livejournal.com]

Welcome to Cranks International (TM).

As a new member you must be eager to get started on your new hobby of complaining.

Step #1. Make note of anything that you can possibly complain about, including those things that you have no rational basis for complaining about (i.e. the number of cracks in a sidewalk).

Step #2. Decide on a complaint tactic. Come up with something to wine and whinge about. (i.e. the cracks in the sidewalk are dangerous because they can catch the blade of an unwary shovel and cause injury).

Step #3. Inflate the complaint. Take it to the logical possible extent (i.e. catching the blade of a shovel in a sidewalk can cause a back injury that is crippling and debilitating and could ruin the quality of your life).

Step #4. Decide who to complain to. Make a list! You don't want to stop at just one - you want to tell everybody about your complaint to earn "Master Crackpot" status in Cranks International (TM). Don't forget the little old lady standing at the bus stop or the cashier at Safeway who is ringing through your groceries.

Step #5. Judging the effectiveness of your complaint. Watch the reactions of others closely. If they look wide-eyed, appear to be looking for an escape route and start to edge away, you are definitely on the right track.

This has been a public service announcement of Cranks International (TM). And if you want to complain about something, why not start grunging about those who take this LJ comment seriously - it's a joke people. Sheesh. (...Nikitaa starts to look around wide-eyed for an escape route and backs slowly away...)

...

p.s. good on 'ya for voicing your opinion! As a society we tend to be too complacent and not willing enough to stand up against "them" to protect our rights!

[madeileen.livejournal.com]

You rock!

[teilani.livejournal.com]

Thank you for articulating those thoughts and putting them forward. If this is your opening salvo as far as official crank status goes, you certainly know how to make a splash. Follow-ups should be interesting to hear of.