The Doom That Came to Cowtown

The first dream was simply a well detailed, very erotic dream, about a girl I have a crush on. This is only the second time that's ever happened, and the first time was about twenty years ago. It ended much to soon.

The next dream I was on a cruise ship and had an impossibly tiny cabin that I shared with five strangers. Due to it's cramped size, I spent most of my time in the public areas. There I saw numerous SCA folks of my acquaintance (in their normal garb) wandering among the other passengers. The other passengers didn't seem to care, or even notice, the strangely dressed folks in their mist.

One of my bunkmates turned out to be named Irene, and she had enemies who were looking for her.

The final dream I was back at my parent's house and there was a burned out wreck of a car sitting on the neighbour's front lawn. Examining it, I see that it's made up of my own car, and the parts of another car. The fire isn't completely out yet so I fetch our garden hose and bring it over. Along the way, I see that the other half of my car (and the other half of the parts of the other car) are kinda/sorta assembled in the back lane in a way that suggests malice rather than mechanical aptitude.

I spray the first wreck just as the fire department arrives to deal with it and QC is one of the fireman. I take him to the back alley to show him the other wreck and somehow meet up with LA and RT. We get to the back to see that someone has also surrounded the car with colourful tombstones. The tombstones all name Irene. Upon seeing the name, it all makes sense to my dream self.

Me in the waking world? I haven't a fucking clue who Irene is, or why she's so universally hated. Frankly, given the subject matter of the first dream, I'd rather not have any more dreams featuring Irene.

Last dream ended at 5 am, so I got up 30 minutes before my alarm.

What's noteworthy about this dream is not the content, it's the fact that I remembered it enough to relate at all.

I was at a big SCA event and in this dream-time the SCA operated differently: Everyone came to this one big event to see all the kings and queens from all the kingdoms get elevated to the throne in one giant ceremony.

I was watching the festivities when they started calling names for An Tir. Nobody went up (I later discovered it's because everyone else was late for the ceremony). Finally, they asked if anyone from An Tir was present. I was the only one, so they hauled my ass up on stage and planted a crown on my head. Suddenly I was King. This was cool for about three minutes and then I wanted out.

By this time, others from An Tir had arrived and were all congratulating me. But something was bothering me. Some niggling little detail that I was sure made all of it moot.

"Wait, isn't there some obscure rule that says you have to win a Crown Tournament to be King?"

There was a lot of muttered discussions and people were flipping through tome-like rule books.

"I think he's right - I think you do need to win a Crown Tournament," said a random SCA policy wonk.
"I won the last Crown Tournament - I guess that means I should be king now." said one knightly-fellow.
"Cool. Take this," I said, handing the Crown to him with much relief.

And that was that.

It's also noteworthy because you couldn't imagine anything like this happening in the real SCA. Peoples' heads would explode if some random guy got crowned because the rightful heir was late for the ceremony.

I'm not sure what this dream means, so I'll just say it's about sex. Any dream you can't interpret is probably about sex. The only exception is that dream I have were I'm standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at me.

So I'm dreaming. I'm at an outdoor mundane event dressed in a suit and tie and I'm bringing a tray of food with me to sit down. I do so at a long picnic-table style bench. Ned Beatty is sitting beside me.

I turn to look at something that distracted me and as I turn back I see that Ned is stealing some of my croutons. An argument ensues. Ned tries to justify himself by saying that croutons are insignificant, so I should not worry about it. I say that's not the point - if he wanted some croutons he should have asked first. He runs off.

Later, Johnny Depp sits down and we look at each other and realize we're twins! Seems Ned was filming a scene from a movie when he grabbed my croutons. He ran off because I wasn't responding with Johnny's lines.

The scene then shifts slightly (or more likely shit happened and I can't remember it). There are now five Depps. Myself, actor-Johnny, Random-guy-Johnny, Psychologist-Johnny and (get this) Mountie-Johnny. Seems we're all brothers, or clones or something and we all just happened to be in these fairgrounds at the same time. None of us had ever met before.

As near as I can figure, last night's dream was written by Charlie Kaufman.