My Titanic Trip to Vancouver and Seattle

[jamesq]

Travel is the most private of pleasures.
There is no greater bore than the travel bore.
We do not in the least want to hear what he has seen in Hong-Kong.
- Vita Sackville-West

Luckily I have never been to Hong-Kong, so I won't be offending the Sackville-Wests of the world. Or is that missing the point?

As most of you know, it is my custom to travel to Vancouver several times a year to visit my friends there. What's shocking is that they keep asking me back! Thanks for putting up with me Carmen, Josh, Athena, Chris, Ryan, Ken, Lou, Jen, Sheldon, Brian, Jess, Mike and Alex. Josephine and MacWhalen, sorry I missed you - I'll catch you next time. And I met Jeff, Matt and Curtis, who seemed nice, and certainly keep good company.

I was going to write an exhaustive travelogue, but that would take several hours of time that would be better spent rereading Hellboy comics, so here are the highlights, along with some observations:

Saturday

- After an insane check-in lineup at the Calgary Airport (about eighty people ahead of me in line - luckily I didn't dawdle, it doubled in length within the next five minutes) I discovered that my Discman (manufactured prior to 1993) could not read the eighty minute audio CD I made for the trip.

- Read an article in the paper during my flight telling me that you should never overstay a visit. Four days max. for non-relative and five days for relatives. Hrrrrmmm - not an auspicious omen.

- Discovered that not all sushi places in Vancouver were created equally - it was the first disagreeable sushi I've had in a restaurant. Even the unagi was substandard - ugh.

- Saw Shrek. I love a movie with a happy ending. The second really good movie of the year.

- Met Brian's roommate Jess. Wonderful gal - She's a gamer, she plays Warhammer 40k and she's planning on murdering Brian. Two good traits and only one bad one (and I'm sure we can all overlook her Warhammer habit).

- Finished off the day by meeting the worlds only ninja cashier (he works in a gas station on Arbutus) - try to imagine having Li Mu Bai (from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) give you your change and you'll have a good idea of what I experienced.

Sunday

- Jogged down the Arbutus corridor (a rail line that runs through Vancouver - lots of politics here that I won't get into) in the morning. This is noteworthy because I sprained my ankle on the same route six months earlier - triggering a string of injuries, illness and bad luck that I only now feel like I've passed.

- Visited The Comic Shop on 4th Street. While there I attempted to repair an HP ink jet printer that Ryan Sen (who works there) needed. I removed the cartridges and flipped it over to look for an access panel (I was looking for a fuse that may have needed replacing as all the symptoms pointed to a power supply failure). Failing to find one I turned it back over to discover that you should never ever turn an ink jet printer upside-down because the purge unit will leak all the old ink into the inside of the printer. Having royally screwed the pooch on that one I made a hasty getaway. Remember: the printer was already broke before I touched it.

- Went to Soda's restaurant, which serves (among it's more normal fare) beer milkshakes and burger sundaes (it's a steaming hot hamburger patty straight from the grill served with two scoops of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge) both of which I failed to order. Sadly the service was slow and they screwed up our order. Despite that I'm willing to go back - I liked our waitress (more on this later) and the ambiance was nice.

- Saw Spike and Mike's Classic Festive of Animation at the Ridge theater. It was the single best collection of cartoons I've seen at a "Spike and Mike" ever, and when it comes to Calgary, I'm going to see it again. Of the eighteen shorts, these were the best:

Rejected (Academy Award nominee)
Father and Daughter (Academy Award winner)
For the Birds (Pixar's latest)
Europe and Italy [Jason told me this one: In a European paradise, the cooks would all be French, the lovers would all be Italian, the mechanics would all be German, the police would all be English and it would all be run by the Swiss. In European hell, the cooks would all be English, the lovers would all be Swiss, the mechanics would all be French, the police would all be Germans, and it would all be run by the Italians.]
The Prince and the Princess (all done with cutouts!)
Metropopular
Monday

- Took the train to Seattle. A most entertaining ride, but not in a good way. Ryan and I shared a car with a bunch of rowdy sixty year olds. They were obnoxious, drunk, and they took pictures of themselves simulating oral sex - I may be traumatized for life. Mere words cannot describe just how loaded these geezers were.

- While boarding the train I ran into our waitress from the night before (she was moonlighting as a porter). She was as disgusted by the slow service as we were. I had a lot of time to chat with her as customs agents decided to do everything they could to Ryan that did not involve rubber gloves. I learned that she was originally from Montreal, she worked in Canmore during the Olympics and Sunday at Soda's was her second day on that job. Proving once again that I am a doofus in such matters, I failed to learn her name or phone number.

- Witnessed a restaurant in White Rock as we chugged past called Charlie Don't Surf. I just thought I'd share that.

Tuesday

- Saw the Titanic exhibit.

- Went to Pike's Place Market (sort of like Granville Island or Kensington - only much much bigger). A store called Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe was very interesting, it had an awful lot of corpses on display, both human, animal and otherwise.

- Saw the Titanic exhibit.

- Bought some Peanut Butter Logs, the candy I can only find in the US. I love this stuff and only get to have it rarely. Naturally I left my bag of it on Brian's living room table the next day. Brian, if you read this far, and the candy is still there, PLEASE stick it in your freezer so I can retrieve it during a future visit.

- Saw the Titanic exhibit.

- Went up the Space Needle, which, according to one of the guides, survived the recent earthquake with no problems. She on the other hand was in the elevator at the time and had about a year's worth of growth scared out of her. The weather was clear as a bell and we could see both of the nearby volcanos (Mount Baker to the north and Mount Rainier to the south - impressive).

- Saw the Titanic exhibit.

- There was a strip joint next to our hotel which had the following slogan "hundred's of beautiful girls - and three ugly ones". Chivalry may not be dead, but it sure needs a life preserver. Ryan and I would have went, but with our luck we would have gotten the ugly ones.

- Saw the Titanic exhibit.

- Went to Tower Records and discovered that CD prices in the USA are completely unreasonable (the sticker prices are the same, i.e. $18.99 in the US and $18.99 in Canada. Oh yes, this was BEFORE applying the exchange rate).

- Did I mention that I saw the Titanic exhibit? This was an exhibit of artifacts dragged from the wreck to the surface by those whores RMS Titanic Inc. Of course, I'm a whore too, so I paid my money to see it. They were exceptionally good whores because I really enjoyed myself. Saw the IMAX movie Titanica. I also bought a bunch of cool junk, including some Titanic peppermints (think Altoids, but with a different box). I could go on about this for hours, but I realize that only one of you gives a rat's ass about Titanic other than me, so I'll stop now.

- Ate at 13 Coins, a very good, very expensive restaurant in Seattle, where you can watch them prepare your food. Unfortunately, I can get equally good food here in Canada for about half the price.

Wednesday

- Took the train back to Vancouver - none of those damn oldsters this time so it was far more enjoyable. Instead, Ryan and I spent about an hour of the trip discussing In Nomine war stories, so we probably freaked the other passengers.

- Missed seeing Yo Yo Ma in concert sadly. This was made worse by watching the last episode of Voyager instead. It's a little like being given a grand tour of heaven just prior to spending an eternity in hell. Voyager died as it lived: sucking [They made Janeway an Admiral?!? Quite the reward for being the biggest screw up in Federation history. Please god, make it so Scott Bacula doesn't suck.].

Thursday

- Jogged.

- Took a GREAT BIG WALK and did lots of window shopping.

Friday

- FTD.

- Went to the Clubhouse for sushi. Yum.

- Saw the first fifteen minutes of the Dungeons & Dragons movie. Clearly a movie that deserves the Mystery Science Theater treatment. I look forward to seeing the rest of it.

- Josh and Mike gave me a grand tour of Vancouver's more (ahem) colorful neighborhoods.

Saturday

- My trip ends on a high note by watching a play that Athena recommended: The Foreigner. A shy Brit pretends to not speak English while visiting an inn in Georgia - runs afoul of the KKK. The funniest play I've ever seen. If I lived in Vancouver, I'd buy season tickets to this company of players.

- WestJet sets a Vancouver to Calgary speed record by getting me home in less than in hour! Given the wind they could have done it in less than 30 minutes today.

Afterthoughts

- I set out to do three things this trip:

See the Titanic exhibit.
Hear Yo Yo Ma perform.
Marry Jennifer Mather (Global TV's Vancouver News Anchor).
I only succeeded in one of these noble goals, but despite that I really enjoyed myself. I'm already counting the days until my next visit.

- I'm going to spend far FAR less money next time.